Author Topic: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )  (Read 60328 times)

Gloucester

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4020 on: February 27, 2017, 12:27:07 PM »
:mb lol:
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

Father Bruno

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4021 on: March 06, 2017, 07:59:31 PM »
“Our Father who art in nature, who has given the gift of survival to the coyote, the common brown rat, the English sparrow, the house fly and the moth, must have a great and overwhelming love for no-goods and blots-on-the-town and bums, and Mack and the boys. Virtues and graces and laziness and zest. Our Father who art in nature.”
― John Steinbeck

Mr. B

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4022 on: March 06, 2017, 09:15:56 PM »
I um....

Need a new keyboard 'cause I....just spit my drink out all over it from laughing. Seriously.

that's the funniest thing I've seen in a month or two.
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they're yours.

Gloucester

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4023 on: March 14, 2017, 02:18:05 PM »
MURPHY'S OTHER 15 LAWS

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

 11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13.A Flash-light: A case for holding dead batteries.

14 . Evolution gave you toes as a device for finding hard things in your way in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

Gloucester

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4024 on: March 18, 2017, 07:50:44 AM »
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

Gloucester

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4025 on: March 24, 2017, 10:07:39 AM »
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

Guardian85

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4026 on: March 24, 2017, 10:20:32 AM »


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-