Happy? Atheist.

[Hollownucleus]

I thought it was religion weighing me down but leaving it behind has not taken away my depression.
I feel like I should be someone else. I am thinking about just dissappearing.
I find a strange pleasure in the idea of everyone I know wondering what happened to me.
People at work not knowing where I went. Family thinking the worst
I know it is a bad decision when I think about it from any angle. But I just need something different.

Ugh..I probably just need to see a head doctor.  

[AlP]

I've been depressed too. It sounds like you should go and see your doctor. If you're in the US, your primary care doctor can prescribe the less exotic antidepressants or he or she can refer you to a psychiatrist. Give your doctor a call. You could be feeling better in a few weeks =).

[liveyoungdiefast]

Atheism isn't happiness, it's just the rational mindset. Shedding religion gives you more potential to find happiness but the act itself doesn't give it. I've been on top of the world and miserable enough to kill myself in the same year. But I can promise you one thing, if you try hard for yourself, you'll find what you need to do for yourself.

[rlrose328]

You've gotten great advice here... please go see someone to just talk about how you're feeling.  It has nothing to do with atheist or theism.  It sounds like clinical depression to me or it could be some other type of imbalance... your primary care physician is your first stop.  Regardless, disappearing won't help and could possible really lead to many other complications in your life that could make recovering yourself much harder in the long run.

I sincerely hope you find a bright spot to concentrate on.  

[Hollownucleus]

You guys are awesome, thanks for the advice and the reassurance.