Who's Your Favorite Televangelist?

[MadBomr101]

They come in all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities. They have a variety of styles ranging from the fire and brimstone shouting of John Hagee, to the speaking-in-tongues vaudeville of Robert Tilton, to the soft spoken, warm and fuzzy doctrine of Joel Osteen and his happy clappy message of upbeat horseshit. They are faith healers, soul savers and the self-appointed vessels of god's word but the one thing they ALL have in common is their unmatched skill at separating Xians from their money.

It doesn't matter how stupid their message is nor how bigoted, ignorant or hateful its delivered, just associate Jesus with it while holding up a bible and the faithful will line up to hear it like pre-teen girls to see Justin Bieber. I sometimes tune into their broadcasts either on television or radio just so I can hear what hokum they're feeding their congregations and how fervently they choose to believe it.

I'm never disappointed.

As an atheist, I get great entertainment watching these sideshow hucksters put on their acts and see the reaction of the faithful as they drink in this kool-aid of crapola like it's a fine wine. I simply can not feel bad for these people when they get screwed over by these con artists. These are grown adults who should have figured out what a scam looks like when they see one by now.

So among the rogues gallery of Jesus salesmen out there which one do you find to be the most entertaining?
Who's your favorite televangelist and why?

[Nam]

I actually used to watch this old guy late at night; I actually liked him, I mean I didn't agree with anything he said but he was charming in a way. I forget his name. His son took over, not likeable at all.

-Nam

[Recusant]

I actually used to watch this old guy late at night; I actually liked him, I mean I didn't agree with anything he said but he was charming in a way. I forget his name. His son took over, not likeable at all.

-Nam

I think you may be talking about Arnold Murray. I used to watch him sometimes, and I agree, he was personable. I also used to watch Gene Scott, who liked to get pretty far from the Bible at times.

[xSilverPhinx]

For his Jedi mind tricks on the faithful.

[MadBomr101]

Mine is the aforementioned Joel Osteen. He sells a version of Xianity that has no foundation anywhere in Xianity. In his megachurch - in Texas, of course - we are all God's masterpieces, we are all destined for greatness and the only thing holding us back is a weakened faith in Jesus.

Are you sick - strengthen your faith and you will be healed by the glory of God.
Got money problems - strengthen your faith and your finances will be enriched.
Feeling lonely - strengthen your faith and God will send you your perfect love.

His gospel is sickeningly upbeat and exists only in fantasy but he's made 100s of millions shoveling his uplifting shit to people willing to pay good money just to be told how incredibly special they truly are.

Truly.

[Nam]

I actually used to watch this old guy late at night; I actually liked him, I mean I didn't agree with anything he said but he was charming in a way. I forget his name. His son took over, not likeable at all.

-Nam

I think you may be talking about Arnold Murray. I used to watch him sometimes, and I agree, he was personable. I also used to watch Gene Scott, who liked to get pretty far from the Bible at times.

Yep, that's him. Figured I'd at least remember his first name since it's my last name. I liked the letter reading segments the best.

-Nam

[jumbojak]

Who was that ugly fellow who got caught humping some other dude in an airport bathroom? I have a feeling that won't narrow things down much but I figured I'd try...

[Pasta Chick]

I don't know if I'd call her a true televangelist, but my friends and I were always fond of EWTN's pirate nun.



CONFESS YE SINS YE SCURVEY DOGS!

[Icarus]

Elmer Gantry.

[Nam]

Elmer Gantry.

Isn't he fictional?

-Nam

[Icarus]

Yes he is fictional. A famous movie character played by Burt Lancaster I think. 

I wish to add that the real preachers consistently assault their patrons with fiction.

[Biggus Dickus]

For his Jedi mind tricks on the faithful.

I love that. I wonder if he's seen this video, or more importantly his followers/patreons, and how they feel about it?

There was an investigative report on him some time back, I tried to find it on YouTube, but no luck. Anyway the journalists tried to talk to him after one of his services when they found all of the prayer requests people from is audience had submitted to him, simply laying on the floor in the back of the center prior to being swept up and tossed into the trash. Not one was read or looked at. (I read an interview recently of someone who worked in the mail center for one of those large psychic centers, and how people were told to send in bits of their hair, and family pictures, etc...and how when they would open the envelope all of those items would simply be dumped immediately into the trash as all they wanted was the cash or check. Billion dollar fucking industry ripping off the savings of the poor and elderly)

But Hinn has always been my favorite, and one other guy I can't think of at the moment, but who frequently speaks in tongues?Gotta love a guy who can speak in tongues.

Gehraoerl o8u fouet e ou oiwue tht ouf oweh to!!

[xSilverPhinx]

I don't know if I'd call her a true televangelist, but my friends and I were always fond of EWTN's pirate nun.



CONFESS YE SINS YE SCURVEY DOGS!

That eyepatch is awesome.

Pirate's gold...pirate's gold...

[Icarus]

Somewhere back in time, Oral Roberts felt the need to pay the installment on his Lear Jet, Gulfstream, concubines, or whatever it was.  He went up into the tower at Oral Roberts University, ( a tall tower built to acknowledge the glory of god in the highest). There he had a conversation with God. God told him that if he did not raise several million dollars to satisfy the debt, god would kill him with divinely directed lightning or some other dramatic force. Oral broadcast his experience at length and sure enough his adherents responded with more than enough money. Anal Oral was saved from certain destruction by virtue of the generosity of his supporters.

One can not make this shit up. It really happened.

[MadBomr101]

One can not make this shit up. It really happened.

The colorful history of televangelism - and religion in general - is rife with stories like that. I never fault the televangelists or pastors/preachers who shill this bullshit, more power to them, the fault lies entirely with the dumb as dirt faithful who hear this crapola, actually take it seriously then respond to it by taking out their credit cards.

You have to be a special kind of stupid to be religious.