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my story

Started by teenabeana22, August 08, 2012, 07:03:20 AM

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teenabeana22

Hello all,

I am 25 and I have been officially atheist for a year now.  I was raised as a Roman Catholic.  I accepted the existence of Jesus Christ blindly until age 15.  At this time I began to doubt the existence of Jesus and Eventually God. It was a constant inward fight trying to convince myself of gods existence. my belief in religion and god has fluctuated over the years.  In the end I was always able to justify irrational or contradictory information found in catholocism. Five years ago I let go of Catholocism because it was so inaccurate so I began to delve into the bible.  I've been told that I would be able to find all answers in the bible but I found that the more I read the more I began to doubt.  I felt that I was spending my life trying to find answers that did not exist.  A year ago I let it all go concluding that the only reasons that I had ever held onto religion were to alleviate my fears and provide myself with nastalgic comfort.  I was afraid of living without the purpose of religion and I was afraid to not existing after I died.  I was tired of living in fear and once i truly accepted atheism I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.  I'm finally free :).  I hope that some people can identify with my experience.  It is difficult for me to find people who identify with my views  with the exception to my spouse who is just beginning to delve into the idea. 

xSilverPhinx

Welcome! Tell us more about yourself ;D Where are you from? I've never heard of someone doubt Jesus and then eventually god, so yours is an interesting story.

There are a few ex-Catholics here. :) 
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


teenabeana22

I was raised in New York my entire life.  I have a son who is everything to me and I work as a nurse.  I enjoy learning about people and listening to different points of view.  I hope to have a good experience on this forum.  :)

I stopped believing in Jesus and the bible because of the many contradictions.  The concept of god is more simple and easier to make sense of.  As people we make up concepts to help us understand what we can't and I used god for that purpose.  I was also fearful because I did not want to accept that this life ends mind body and soul.  part of me is still fearful but not as much as before. 

The Magic Pudding

Hello teena

I'm not sure what nuance there was in your story that xSilverPhinx found unusual, it seemed to me very much the same story we here so often.  Thanks for telling it anyway, it's still good to here of people freeing themselves, welcome.

Siz

Hey Teena, welcome to our very own little sanctuary of sanity - though don't take that for granted...

In time I hope you'll learn to love the idea of a finite existence on this tiny, dirty rock of ours. It's an odd contradiction that at the same time that life seems precious and meaningful (more so without a creator)  it all amounts to a big empty bag o nothin'. So, enjoy it with a smile and make sure your own journey is a pleasant one. Hope we can help to that end... ;D I've no doubt that spending a while breathing in the HAF air will have you wondering what all the fuss was about. Then you can get on and enjoy the sin!

Have fun...





When one sleeps on the floor one need not worry about falling out of bed - Anton LaVey

The universe is a cold, uncaring void. The key to happiness isn't a search for meaning, it's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually you'll be dead!

xSilverPhinx

Quote from: The Magic Pudding on August 08, 2012, 08:00:25 AM
I'm not sure what nuance there was in your story that xSilverPhinx found unusual, it seemed to me very much the same story we here so often. 

Just the order of things, when she mentioned a disbelief in Jesus before one in god, it was my impression that it mostly happens the other way round: people loose their faith in god before. It may be a bit simplistic.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Tank

Hi Teena

The majority of ex-theists are ex-Catholics, you are far from alone in your situation.

Thanks for making the effort to sign up and join in.

Welcome to HAF.

Regards
Chris

Notes for new members.
The Rules.

Users who comply with forum rules will graduate to full membership after 10 posts.
Till that time your ability to post is limited to the "Getting to Know You" section of the forum.
It is our hope that this small restriction improves the overall atmosphere of HAF.


Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from?
10 Things About Yourself
Tell us A Bit About Where You're From
Photography
Non-religious pet peeves
Pets...what do you have?
Favorite Song, with video
How to tell your family you are an atheist.*
"Rules for Conducting a Discussion" by Dr. Mortimer J. Adler*

*You will need 10 posts before you can add a post to this thread, but you can read it at any time.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

Hello and welcome, Teena.  Isn't it lovely to be free?  We'll help with reassurance and above all, we'll listen.  Tell us more.

teenabeana22

#8
Quote from: Scissorlegs on August 08, 2012, 08:40:53 AM
Hey Teena, welcome to our very own little sanctuary of sanity - though don't take that for granted...

In time I hope you'll learn to love the idea of a finite existence on this tiny, dirty rock of ours. It's an odd contradiction that at the same time that life seems precious and meaningful (more so without a creator)  it all amounts to a big empty bag o nothin'. So, enjoy it with a smile and make sure your own journey is a pleasant one. Hope we can help to that end... ;D I've no doubt that spending a while breathing in the HAF air will have you wondering what all the fuss was about. Then you can get on and enjoy the sin!

Have fun...


It is true.  I feel like now I can enjoy life more because I can live it at my own terms and not those force fed to me by religion or god.   Sometimes I have trouble trying to find meaning in life but I guess I have to start making my own meaning for it.





teenabeana22

Quote from: OldGit on August 08, 2012, 10:20:59 AM
Hello and welcome, Teena.  Isn't it lovely to be free?  We'll help with reassurance and above all, we'll listen.  Tell us more.


Thank's this means alot.  Well if anything you want to know feel free to ask or thread. :)  I still need 10 posts though.

Ali

Hi Teena, and welcome!

Re: the meaning thing, I find that the realization that life is so ephemeral is what helps motivate me to try to live it right, this time, right now, because I know this is my only shot.  Being in control of my own life and filling it with people and experiences that are meaningful to me are what gives my life meaning.  I actually think that the concept of a god kind of robs life of meaning, like we're all just here to validate his ego?  Wow, meaningful.  LOL  Anyway, welcome again and I hope you enjoy it here!  

teenabeana22

Quote from: Tank on August 08, 2012, 08:49:46 AM
Hi Teena

The majority of ex-theists are ex-Catholics, you are far from alone in your situation.

Thanks for making the effort to sign up and join in.

Welcome to HAF.

Regards
Chris

Notes for new members.
The Rules.

Users who comply with forum rules will graduate to full membership after 10 posts.
Till that time your ability to post is limited to the "Getting to Know You" section of the forum.
It is our hope that this small restriction improves the overall atmosphere of HAF.


Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from?
10 Things About Yourself
Tell us A Bit About Where You're From
Photography
Non-religious pet peeves
Pets...what do you have?
Favorite Song, with video
How to tell your family you are an atheist.*
"Rules for Conducting a Discussion" by Dr. Mortimer J. Adler*

*You will need 10 posts before you can add a post to this thread, but you can read it at any time.



Thanks.  I feel alone in this at time.  as a result of having led a religious life most of my close friends are religious and my views are not accepted.  I often have to sit quietly and hear them ramble on about the bible.  I often don't bother arguing beecause I know they are close minded and wouldnt take anything I say into consideration.

Tank

I wonder how many of the quiet people at your meetings are doing just the same as you  ;)
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Recusant

Hello and welcome to HAF, teenabeana22.  I definitely identify with your experience, and I'm sure that a lot of the people here do, as well. After years of reading introduction posts here, one of the striking themes shared by many of them is the effect of reading the Bible. I guess that it helps (if a person wants to maintain and strengthen their belief in Christianity) to do it in a study group. Doing it on your own, especially if you're seeking answers to questions stemming from a wavering faith, apparently can help destroy faith, rather than strengthen it. I think that's an intriguing phenomenon.

I hope that you enjoy your time reading and posting here.
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Amicale

Quote from: teenabeana22 on August 08, 2012, 07:03:20 AM
Hello all,

I am 25 and I have been officially atheist for a year now.  I was raised as a Roman Catholic.  I accepted the existence of Jesus Christ blindly until age 15.  At this time I began to doubt the existence of Jesus and Eventually God. It was a constant inward fight trying to convince myself of gods existence. my belief in religion and god has fluctuated over the years.  In the end I was always able to justify irrational or contradictory information found in catholocism. Five years ago I let go of Catholocism because it was so inaccurate so I began to delve into the bible.  I've been told that I would be able to find all answers in the bible but I found that the more I read the more I began to doubt.  I felt that I was spending my life trying to find answers that did not exist.  A year ago I let it all go concluding that the only reasons that I had ever held onto religion were to alleviate my fears and provide myself with nastalgic comfort.  I was afraid of living without the purpose of religion and I was afraid to not existing after I died.  I was tired of living in fear and once i truly accepted atheism I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.  I'm finally free :).  I hope that some people can identify with my experience.  It is difficult for me to find people who identify with my views  with the exception to my spouse who is just beginning to delve into the idea. 

Teena, welcome! :)

You're definitely not alone, you're among friends here. You and I share many similarities, it seems! Like you, I was raised Catholic and started to seriously question it in my mid teens, after which I left Catholicism. Somewhat similarly to you, I started to doubt that Jesus had any supernatural aspects to him, long before I doubted the idea of God. And like you, when I started coming up with all kinds of questions, I turned to the Bible, only to be met with more questions - as Recusant mentioned, studying the Bible on your own if your faith is already wavering can certainly go a long way towards tearing down your faith even further, particularly when nobody (read: the Church) is carefully selecting passages for you and telling you how to interpret it. Finally, like you, I did leave Catholicism, followed by Christianity, followed by theism in general. It was a long slow process that didn't happen overnight, but then, it rarely does.

Anyways, all that to say... you've got a lot in common with many of us, I think! :) And even for those of us whose backgrounds are different to yours, I know you're very welcome here. I'm looking forward to speaking with you more in other threads.

Enjoy HAF!


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan