Angry Feminist. Happy Atheist. Glad to be both.

[Luna]

Well, hello! 

I've been lurking on and off for quite some time around the Happy Atheist Forum. For one reason or another (or no real reason in particular) I decided that now is the time I should dive on in, and actually say hello. Why not, right? So *twiddles thumb* this is the awkward part of the date where I get to talk about myself. *tugs at shirt collar* Maybe if I just start out with how I realized I was an atheist.

I grew up in a fairly typical Roman Catholic household. The Church, and my parents said "this is the way things are" and that was the way things were. I was a 'good kid', and didn't much mind any of it (except for boring church every Sunday and Holy Day ). I was an indoctrinator's dream child.

Despite my never questioning my religious upbringing, I was a very curious kid about the physical world around me. My parents, while being extremely Catholic, also encouraged my siblings and me to be inquisitive. They never specifically said "go forth and be curious", but the nature programs, art books, history novels, and magazines that delved into the mysteries of the Earth were so prevalent around our home that it almost seems, looking back on it, that my house was one giant juxtaposition with all the crucifixes and rosaries laying about often on the same table as the books on the (very scientific and secular) origins of the universe. Perhaps my parents were just asking for trouble.

That might actually be how I developed compartmentalized ideas about religion and science. For many years, they never once "crossed the streams". Everything that I was taught about my Roman Catholic faith could be true at the same time that all of the facts in my science books at school could be true. There was just no need to question it.

I didn't have one big eye-opening moment. Rather, it was many smaller moments that added up, and threatened to break through my compartmentalization. Some of the most notable being:

- The night one of my CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) teachers said, "We don't know that God exists. We believe that God exists."

- The night I was on the phone with friends and they started joking about there being no god. What was notable here was my knee-jerk reaction. "Stop saying that. It's freaking me out." It was a knee-jerk FEAR reaction.

- My brother lent me a new age-y religious book (a book I'm actually embarrassed to say I read ), and while I set about reading it like a fantasy novel, it said something to the effect of, "In order to determine whether or not there is a god, we have to accept the possibility that there isn't one." While the book itself went on to say there must be a god and blah blah blah reasons, it was the questioning that stuck with me.

- When I entered high school I began making many friends that didn't fit the mold of The Church. This was a positive thing, and though not a single moment, definitely added to the growing pile of things built up behind that wall.

These things happened over years. Again, I can't say anything suddenly burst open the dam. It was simply a matter of time before I had to turn my naturally (and encouraged) curious eye to my own religion.

Now, as many people who grew up in any faith may understand, this is not an easy task. Not only is it fraught with confusion, but it's a landmine of fear, self-doubt, the questioning of everything around me. While at the same time dealing with self-punishment for even daring to question The Church, I could not unsee what I had seen. It was an unpleasant time in my life to put it mildly. And mass each Sunday was purgatory. I hated myself for questioning, and part of me desperately wanted to "go back", even though I knew I could not.

While many things lead me to question my faith, I do remember the one moment where I was finally liberated from it.

I set about like any 'good Catholic', and decided that reading the Bible would surely reaffirm my beliefs.* I only made it through Deuteronomy. Specifically, I only made it to Deuteronomy 22:13-30. It was then that I realized I didn't much like that book. At that moment, I was not a Roman Catholic. I wasn't even a Christian. And after reading the Old Testament I also knew I wasn't Jewish.

The dam of compartmentalization was obliterated. Reading the Bible made me an atheist.

I was in limbo for a while. Truly, I was an atheist who didn't want to use the word "atheist". Given more time, more reading, more curious exploration, I accepted that I am an atheist. Thank god.

*Whew* I know. TL;DR - Grew up Catholic, now an atheist. But, I think I've been holding onto that for a bit too long.

Yikes. Enough about me, right?

Really, I'm glad there's a place here where being an atheist doesn't have to mean anything else about me. And, where while there may be discussions and many differences, there's still a solidarity.

So, thank you for having me. Hope to get to know you all.

---

*Yes, I'm still laughing at myself about that one.

[markmcdaniel]

Gee your story sounds familiar. Welcome to our family officially.

[Firebird]

Welcome aboard!

[Luna]

Gee your story sounds familiar. Welcome to our family officially.

Thanks for the welcome, markmcdaniel

Welcome aboard!

Ahoy and thank you, Firebird!

[hismikeness]

Seems there are a few former Catholics here... not surprising. I am one myself.

Welcome Luna

[The Magic Pudding]

Hello

It was a big mistake translating the bible into a language people could read.

[Luna]

Seems there are a few former Catholics here... not surprising. I am one myself.

Welcome Luna

*waves* Thanks, hismikeness! Can I just say I've been enjoying your amusing avatar Spiderman gif.

Hello

It was a big mistake translating the bible into a language people could read.

Hi, The Magic Pudding! I completely agree. Which is why any holy books I write will be printed in Wingdings.

[OldGit]

Welcome, Luna!  This is a good place; you can have a laugh and some serious discussion too.  Beware of the Asmo, the Pudding and me, that's all.

[Tank]

Hello Luna

In my experiences on a number of atheist fora the majority ex-theist (vs. never-theists) atheists are ex-Catholics and we have a number on here as you'd expect. So there are members that have been through what you have been thorough and your story isn't that unusual. The bible often trips up Catholics as what they are taught about what the bible stands for is very different from what is written in it by all accounts.

Thanks for making the effort to sign up and join in.

Welcome to HAF.

Regards
Chris

Notes for new members.
The Rules.

Users who comply with forum rules will graduate to full membership after 10 posts.
Till that time your ability to post is limited to the "Getting to Know You" section of the forum.
It is our hope that this small restriction improves the overall atmosphere of HAF.

Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from?
10 Things About Yourself
Tell us A Bit About Where You're From
Photography
Non-religious pet peeves
Pets...what do you have?
Favorite Song, with video
How to tell your family you are an atheist.*
"Rules for Conducting a Discussion" by Dr. Mortimer J. Adler*

*You will need 10 posts before you can add a post to this thread, but you can read it at any time.

[Recusant]

Hello and welcome to HAF, Luna. I found your introduction an enjoyable read; thanks for that.

I hope that you enjoy your time reading and posting here. 

[Amicale]

Hey Luna, welcome to HAF! Your story indeed sounds familiar, particularly the religion and science being compartmentalized, and then actually reading the Bible for the first time on my own. Oh, and like many here, growing up Catholic and leaving it later after having done some research.

Anyway, I really hope you enjoy HAF! I think you'll have a lot of fun here, and I'm looking forward to speaking with you more!

[DeterminedJuliet]

Hi hi!
I'm another ex-Catholic I hope you like it here.

[CB Brooks MD]

Me too.
Ex-catholic, ex-theist; now reasonable and free.
Busy spreading the message to the younger generation: Throw off those chains, reclaim your independence, become a thinking adult.

[xSilverPhinx]

Welcome!

I liked your intro, it was long but I didn't skim over it

[i.os]

Welcome.  I like when you mentioned that in order to determine whether or not there is a god, one may need to ponder the possibility that there may not be one.
The seed of doubt is is easily crushed if you are not ready to think about alternatives.