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Why I hate the Hisory Channel.

Started by jumbojak, July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM

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jumbojak

 I now have at least three coworkers that are watching the Ancient Aliens program on the History Channel and have taken to randomly spouting off the utter nonsense they pick up from the show. By Merlin's beard it is beyond me to understand how an otherwise intelligent individual could entertain an idea that is so obviously a fantasy.

This is forcing me to develop a counter-apologetic for these juvenile conspiracy theories. I just can't sit there and listen without challenging them on the evolution of Egyptian pyramids for example. I have to explain how the earliest pyramids are small, growing significantly larger over the next several centuries until the design could no longer support the massive amount of sandstone piled into ever larger monuments.

The existence of several broken pyramids, followed by so called bent pyramids indicate a school of architecture that was adapting as it went along. The Egyptians had to alter their construction methods until the problem was solved and consequently, we have a number of obleisk-like pyramids sandwiched between the oldest true pyramids and the gargantuan tombs built in later years.

I am compelled to point out that such a well documented period of architectural upheaval is strong evidence that the pyramids were not suddenly built by primitive humans working under the direction of some cosmic shift supervisor.

Bringing this to their attention they concede--finally--that it would have been possible for ancient Egyptians to build the Great Pyramid at Giza given their long engineering experience. At this point in the conversation they segue int a theory about how the Japanese needed extra terrestrial guidance in make the first samurai sword. And with that we're back at square one. It's sad really.

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

xSilverPhinx

Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
At this point in the conversation they segue int a theory about how the Japanese needed extra terrestrial guidance in make the first samurai sword.

Seriously?   :D

I'm actually curious to watch that series now, I never bothered with it before. Arguments from ignorance or incredulity going to whole new levels should make for good entertainment.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


markmcdaniel

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 09:08:07 AM
Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
At this point in the conversation they segue int a theory about how the Japanese needed extra terrestrial guidance in make the first samurai sword.

Seriously?   :D

I'm actually curious to watch that series now, I never bothered with it before. Arguments from ignorance or incredulity going to whole new levels should make for good entertainment.
Only if your a masochist. O wait we are atheists. Masochism comes with the territory. I long ago gave up on the History Channel when the stopped showing much history programing.
It appears to me (whether rightly or wrongly) that direct arguments against Christianity and theism produce hardly any effect on the public; and freedom of thought is best promoted by the gradual illumination of men's minds which follows from the advance of science - Charles Darwin

I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the object of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a god, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism. - Albert Einstein

Religion is a by product of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? Isn't killing people in the name of God a pretty good definition of insanity. - Arther C. Clarke

Faith means not wanting to know what is true. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Crow

#3
I couldn't agree with you more the programing is total trash, the discovery channel isn't much better either. The amount of times you will hear the phrase "the majority of scientists are in agreement" to try and prove some odd obscure point, but when checked that point they made out is only by a very small group of nutbag so called scientists that never finished their degrees.

Also the obsession with the Nazis is unsettling, everyday there is something, is that what people really want to watch. I thought I would watch a program about Nazi occultism on one of those channels thinking it would actually use evidence rather than fiction, I thought it would have focused on the weak links between the Thule Society and the Nazi party, the relationship of the symbolism used by the party to the ideologies preached by the Thule Society and other similar ideologies that paralleled that of the Nazi party, and dispelled the ideas put forth by books of fiction. Boy was I wrong, it was the biggest pile of sensational drivel I have ever watched in my life which would have been better in an Indiana Jones film than a documentary, the only stuff that they seemed to get close to correct was the stuff about Himmler.
Retired member.

The Magic Pudding

Have these people brought us a "science" channel yet?

jumbojak

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 09:08:07 AM
Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
At this point in the conversation they segue int a theory about how the Japanese needed extra terrestrial guidance in make the first samurai sword.

Seriously?   :D

I'm actually curious to watch that series now, I never bothered with it before. Arguments from ignorance or incredulity going to whole new levels should make for good entertainment.

As their reasoning goes all Japanese swords prior to the katana were straight bladed and there's no way a blacksmith would figure out that a gently curved blade cuts better. The only explanation I can think of is that the ancient alien theorists know how stupid they are and assume that the rest of humanity is at, or below their level.

And don't get me started on the astrophysicists they have on the show to explain how humans couldn't possibly have evolved. Did it not occour to the producers that a biologist, even a creationist biologist, would be better equiped to answer that question.

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

xSilverPhinx

Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 03:05:29 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 09:08:07 AM
Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
At this point in the conversation they segue int a theory about how the Japanese needed extra terrestrial guidance in make the first samurai sword.

Seriously?   :D

I'm actually curious to watch that series now, I never bothered with it before. Arguments from ignorance or incredulity going to whole new levels should make for good entertainment.

As their reasoning goes all Japanese swords prior to the katana were straight bladed and there's no way a blacksmith would figure out that a gently curved blade cuts better. The only explanation I can think of is that the ancient alien theorists know how stupid they are and assume that the rest of humanity is at, or below their level.

And don't get me started on the astrophysicists they have on the show to explain how humans couldn't possibly have evolved. Did it not occour to the producers that a biologist, even a creationist biologist, would be better equiped to answer that question.

Or that a curved blade is easier to remove from the sheath, for that matter, if you're going for some amount of gracefulness. :D It really irks me when people don't know the thing's they're talking about. ::)

As for people who don't have the  minimal credentials and who know even less about biology than a highschool senior having their say about what couldn't have happened, I'm quite immune to that by now. Creationists :D
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


fester30

There's a clown on there calling himself an archaeologist that tries to prove Biblical stories, such as the idea that a volcano in the Mediterranean caused the plagues of Egypt.  Nevermind that if the plagues happened, all clues in Exodus point to a time at least 500 years different than when the volcano erupted.  He solves this problem by saying that one perhaps happened later and the other earlier, because of course scientists could be several hundred years off of their guess for the eruption of the volcano, despite the various forms of evidence including written histories and sediments.

Guardian85

Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 03:05:29 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 09:08:07 AM
Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
At this point in the conversation they segue int a theory about how the Japanese needed extra terrestrial guidance in make the first samurai sword.

Seriously?   :D

I'm actually curious to watch that series now, I never bothered with it before. Arguments from ignorance or incredulity going to whole new levels should make for good entertainment.

As their reasoning goes all Japanese swords prior to the katana were straight bladed and there's no way a blacksmith would figure out that a gently curved blade cuts better. The only explanation I can think of is that the ancient alien theorists know how stupid they are and assume that the rest of humanity is at, or below their level.
As an affectionado of fine swords, and a bit of a kenjutsu student myself, I must laugh at this silly idea. Anyone with a little sword skill knows that a straight blade is inferior for cutting. And the true genious of japanese swordmaking lies in the way they temper the steel to get different hardness between the edge and the rest of the blade.
I assume they didn't actually have a proper japanese swordsmith on the show, as they would probably have been chased out at sword point....


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

history_geek

QuoteSamurai sword history is roughly divided into four main time periods - Koto (the old sword period, pre 1596), Shinto/Shinshinto (1597 to 1876) Gendai (1877 to the end of world war II) and Shinsaku (modern).

But the earliest origins of this fascinating weapons can be traced back some 1300 years...

The first Japanese swords were basically variations of the Chinese Jian (called Chokuto) - in other words a straight, double edged iron blade.

However sometime during the early Heian period, around 700AD, the first uniquely Japanese swords that were the forerunners of the 'modern' Katana began to evolve.

Initially the first curved Japanese swords were curved at the tang only. But by the end of the 10th century fully curved swords were commonplace. It was during this time that Japan began to abandon such close cultural ties with China, it's society stabilized into class divisions, and the military guards of the capital and the gentlemen of the provinces became the first Samurai...

While no one can pinpoint exactly when the first true Samurai swords came about (after all, written records of Samurai sword history were few and far between during this early period) Japanese myths like to attribute the turning point of Samurai sword history to a smith by the name of Amakuni...

http://www.sword-buyers-guide.com/samurai-sword-history.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katana
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_sword

But what strikes me as incredible is the sheer lack of.. I'm not sure what to call it, trust or respect of the by gone generations, that they actually could have figured these sort of things for them selves. People back then were just as crazy, innovative and smart as today, the only lacking component being the level of technology (though there are several peaks through out the ancient histories and empires of old).

To me claims like the one about space man origins of the katana are almost like a very tasteless version of "Yo mama..."-jokes.

"Yo mama was so stupid, she had to ask the aliens on how to forge metal and make a blade!"
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Arthur C Clarke's Third Law
"Any sufficiently advanced alien is indistinguishable from a god."
Pierre-Simon, marquis de Laplace:
Je n'ai pas besoin de cette hypothése - I do not require that hypothesis[img]http://www.dakkadakka.com/s/i/a/4eef2cc3548cc9844a491b22ad384546.gif[/i

Buddy

Every time I think of that show I picture this:



I watched it once. I ended up just staying on that channel because it was so laughably bad.
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Crow

Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 29, 2012, 01:34:49 AM
Every time I think of that show I picture this:



I watched it once. I ended up just staying on that channel because it was so laughably bad.

That program is the pinnacle of programming on that channel.
Retired member.

Buddy

Quote from: Crow on July 29, 2012, 01:36:56 AM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 29, 2012, 01:34:49 AM
Every time I think of that show I picture this:



I watched it once. I ended up just staying on that channel because it was so laughably bad.

That program is the pinnacle of programming on that channel.

It's like the Discovery network. It used to be good, then it just went downhill. If National Geographic goes, I'll be very sad.
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

jumbojak

Quote from: Crow on July 29, 2012, 01:36:56 AM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 29, 2012, 01:34:49 AM
Every time I think of that show I picture this:



I watched it once. I ended up just staying on that channel because it was so laughably bad.

That program is the pinnacle of programming on that channel.

I wouldn't go quite that far. Serial Killer Earth is awesome. I never realized just how powerful the Japanes tsunami was until I saw the episode on it. Serial Killer Earth blows me away every episode.

And I wonder what kind of gel that moron uses to make his hair stand out like that? Could be a perm...

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Ali

Quote from: jumbojak on July 28, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
I have to explain how the earliest pyramids are small, growing significantly larger over the next several centuries until the design could no longer support the massive amount of sandstone piled into ever larger monuments.


I know what you actually meant, but I like to pretend that what you really meant is that pyramids start small (like baby pyramids) and then grow larger with time (and presumably enough sunlight and water and classical music.)

Quote from: history_geek
"Yo mama was so stupid, she had to ask the aliens on how to forge metal and make a blade!"

This is going in my signature.