Author Topic: Loch Ness Monster seen as real dinosaur in biology books taught in Louisiana  (Read 2437 times)

OldGit

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Do you wear full pirate garb?

No, not even on Fridays.  But I am indeed a fundamentalist Pastafarian gravity-denier.

Sweetdeath

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*facepalm*  I just...I can't....I don't..... *facepalm*

Also.


Quote
Some Christian schools eligible for vouchers are also reportedly teaching “Bible-based math,” which doesn’t include modern theories

WTF is Bible-based math?

ETA:  People always say that "math is the universal language."  Does the idea that Christians have their own special math suggest that they can't even speak the universal language?

What the crap is bible based math??


2x2 every animal = ??? solve for x?

Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

“I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn’t mend our wounds.

Dobermonster

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*facepalm*  I just...I can't....I don't..... *facepalm*

Also.


Quote
Some Christian schools eligible for vouchers are also reportedly teaching “Bible-based math,” which doesn’t include modern theories

WTF is Bible-based math?

ETA:  People always say that "math is the universal language."  Does the idea that Christians have their own special math suggest that they can't even speak the universal language?

What the crap is bible based math??


2x2 every animal = ??? solve for x?



Noah took in clean beasts by sevens and unclean beasts by twos.
x= unclean beasts
y = clean beasts

2x + 7y = 22,000,000,000

Solve for x and y.

Bonus question: If each animal produced 0.5 kg of fecal matter daily, and Noah et al could spend 4 hours a day shoveling at 20kg/hr, how long would it take for the massive volume of shit to exceed the maximum capacity of the Ark? Students may cross-reference with Genesis.

Sweetdeath

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*facepalm*  I just...I can't....I don't..... *facepalm*

Also.


Quote
Some Christian schools eligible for vouchers are also reportedly teaching “Bible-based math,” which doesn’t include modern theories

WTF is Bible-based math?

ETA:  People always say that "math is the universal language."  Does the idea that Christians have their own special math suggest that they can't even speak the universal language?

What the crap is bible based math??


2x2 every animal = ??? solve for x?



Noah took in clean beasts by sevens and unclean beasts by twos.
x= unclean beasts
y = clean beasts

2x + 7y = 22,000,000,000

Solve for x and y.

Bonus question: If each animal produced 0.5 kg of fecal matter daily, and Noah et al could spend 4 hours a day shoveling at 20kg/hr, how long would it take for the massive volume of shit to exceed the maximum capacity of the Ark? Students may cross-reference with Genesis.

Haha, I wish someone would ACTUALLY attempt to solve this.  ;D

(Not me, I suck at math.)
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

“I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn’t mend our wounds.

Asmodean

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Haha, I wish someone would ACTUALLY attempt to solve this.  ;D

(Not me, I suck at math.)
Let The Asmo see what He can do, The Gray Math style.  8)

Quote from: Dobermonster
Noah took in clean beasts by sevens and unclean beasts by twos.
x= unclean beasts
y = clean beasts

2x + 7y = 22,000,000,000

Solve for x and y.

Bonus question: If each animal produced 0.5 kg of fecal matter daily, and Noah et al could spend 4 hours a day shoveling at 20kg/hr, how long would it take for the massive volume of shit to exceed the maximum capacity of the Ark? Students may cross-reference with Genesis.
1.

x=(22E9-7y)/2
y=(22E9-2x)/7

x and y are free variables. Recommend starting with y with regard to whole numbers. (Every even is cleanly divisible by two, but only every seventh is cleanly divisible by seven)

2. The rate of 20 kg/h is pathetic, even for an ancient old fart with a beard.
« Last Edit: July 04, 2012, 10:20:49 PM by Asmodean »
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wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Dobermonster

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Haha, I wish someone would ACTUALLY attempt to solve this.  ;D

(Not me, I suck at math.)
Let The Asmo see what He can do, The Gray Math style.  8)

1.

x=(22E9-7y)/2
y=(22E9-2x)/7

x and y are free variables. Recommend starting with y with regard to whole numbers. (Every even is cleanly divisible by two, but only every seventh is cleanly divisible by seven)

2. The rate of 20 kg/h is pathetic, even for an ancient old fart with a beard.



Noah took in clean beasts by sevens and unclean beasts by twos.
x= unclean beasts
y = clean beasts

x+y= 6,000,000,000
2x + 7y = 22,000,000,000

Solve for x and y.

Bonus question: If each animal produced 0.5 kg of fecal matter daily, and Noah et al could spend 4 hours a day shoveling at 240kg/hr, how long would it take for the massive volume of shit to exceed the maximum capacity of the Ark? Students may cross-reference with Genesis.


Is better? Noah's buff. :D

[correction pending . . . consulting KJV in progress]

Bonus question: If each animal produced 0.5 kg of fecal matter daily, and Noah et al could spend 4 hours a day shoveling at 1500kg/hr, how long would it take for the massive volume of shit to exceed the maximum capacity of the Ark? Students may cross-reference with Genesis.

Ok, so this now reflects that 8 people are working. However, Noah and his wife are over 600 hundred years old, so . . . come on, the dude's not going to be a power pooper scooper.
[/consulting]
« Last Edit: July 04, 2012, 10:44:58 PM by Dobermonster »

Stevil

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How volatile is the clean/unclean attribute?
Can unclean animal make a clean animal become unclean?
If so with all them uncleans on the boat if they aren't carefully segregated, before long all the animals will be unclean, including the humans.

It will be a very, very, very stinky boat ride.

xSilverPhinx

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The logistics of any of god's workers defy comprehension.

I'm just a student of the game that they taught me.


Stevil

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An interesting point that Kevin Krady made in one of his posts on WhyWontGodHealAmputees, was with regards to the environment that Noah was in when he build his boat and gathered the animals.
People were so savage, so evil that god had no option but to kill them all.
But given this environment, Noah roamed around, gathering materials for his jolly big boat, he travelled the world and collected animals and all this took him many years (was it a 100 or so?). Nobody tried to stop him, nobody stole his animals or his boat or his material, nobody vandalised his boat, nobody troubled him? Apparently businesses were still able to operate, to produce the wood and nails and material Noah needed for his boat.

xSilverPhinx

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An interesting point that Kevin Krady made in one of his posts on WhyWontGodHealAmputees, was with regards to the environment that Noah was in when he build his boat and gathered the animals.
People were so savage, so evil that god had no option but to kill them all.
But given this environment, Noah roamed around, gathering materials for his jolly big boat, he travelled the world and collected animals and all this took him many years (was it a 100 or so?). Nobody tried to stop him, nobody stole his animals or his boat or his material, nobody vandalised his boat, nobody troubled him? Apparently businesses were still able to operate, to produce the wood and nails and material Noah needed for his boat.

He tried to go to heaven to buy it pronto, but they wouldn't accept his currency, apparently. Had to start from scratch.
I'm just a student of the game that they taught me.


OldGit

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Maybe there's something in the old saw: 'Noah was an amateur; the Titanic was built by professionals.'

Sweetdeath

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The logistics of any of god's workers defy comprehension.




Nothing febreeze can't handle!!  ;D
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

“I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn’t mend our wounds.

Dobermonster

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The thing I don't get about creationists is . . . they scrounge for this meager, speculative, pinhead of logic, float it in a vat of irrational deductive reasoning, and call it 'evidence', when testable statements are provided in the bible. Apparently the 'sons of God' came down to earth and procreated with humans, so God had to send the flood and cull their gigantic offspring. I want to see some giant angel DNA, dammit. I bet it thparkles.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2012, 09:32:34 PM by Dobermonster »

Ihateyoumike

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Chef's dad:
Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?

Stan:
No, that's okay

Chef's dad:
Ooh! It must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water

Chef's mom:
We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"

Chef's dad:
It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes...

Chef's mom:
Oh it was so scary!

Chef's dad:
And I yelled, I said "What do you want from us monster?!" And the monster bent down and said "I need about treefiddy"

[silence]

Kyle:
What's treefiddy?

Chef's dad:
Three dollars and fifty cents

Chef's mom:
Treefiddy

Stan:
He wanted money?

Chef's dad:
That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no treefiddy you goddam Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddam money!"

Chef's mom:
I gave him a dollar

Chef's dad:
She gave him a dollar

Chef's mom:
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar

Chef's dad:
Well of course he's not gonna go away! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more

(Sorry, couldn't resist)
Prayers that need no answer now, cause I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake, I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin.

Buddy

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That stupid story is all over Reddit.   :D
« Last Edit: July 06, 2012, 05:11:54 AM by Budhorse4 »
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