Author Topic: Language oddities and funnies  (Read 521 times)

Arturo

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #30 on: August 11, 2017, 03:37:30 PM »
Ostracize was the one. Thank you to you two!
« Last Edit: August 11, 2017, 03:51:20 PM by Arturo »
But, uh...well there it is.
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joeactor

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #31 on: August 11, 2017, 03:37:51 PM »
What is the word when you are kicked out of a society or group of people? (Not excommunicated)

Banished? Shunned?

Gloucester

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #32 on: August 17, 2017, 11:21:48 AM »
Daily Mail, Wednesday, January 17, 1996


Straight talk


ENGLISH having been chosen as its preferred language, the EU is studying ways of improving communications efficiency.

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; cough, plough, rough, through, for example.

A phased programme of changes is needed to iron out anomalies. In the first year the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sivil servants in all sities would reseive this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k'.

Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one fewer letter.

In the sekond year, it would be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f', making words like 'fotograf' 20 per cent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage when more komplikated shanges are possible.

Government would enkourage the removal of double leters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

We would al agre that the horibIe mes of silent e's in the languag is disgrasful. We kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.

By this tim peopl would be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. and ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v' vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis ze unesesary 'o' kould dropd from words kontaining 'ou', and in mani suwords ze ‘l’ kud go az vel. Ozer words viz ‘ough’ wud end viz a simpl ‘o’, u, ov, uv ets.

Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid tu ozer kombinashons of leters.

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vud find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.


PETER JONES, Port Talbot, West Glamorgan.

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Icarus

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #33 on: August 17, 2017, 05:05:30 PM »
^ An odious idea but the demonstration is a work of art as well as the result of some effort.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #34 on: August 17, 2017, 06:41:04 PM »
Daily Mail, Wednesday, January 17, 1996


Straight talk


ENGLISH having been chosen as its preferred language, the EU is studying ways of improving communications efficiency.

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; cough, plough, rough, through, for example.

A phased programme of changes is needed to iron out anomalies. In the first year the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sivil servants in all sities would reseive this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k'.

Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one fewer letter.

In the sekond year, it would be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f', making words like 'fotograf' 20 per cent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage when more komplikated shanges are possible.

Government would enkourage the removal of double leters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

We would al agre that the horibIe mes of silent e's in the languag is disgrasful. We kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.

By this tim peopl would be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. and ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v' vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis ze unesesary 'o' kould dropd from words kontaining 'ou', and in mani suwords ze ‘l’ kud go az vel. Ozer words viz ‘ough’ wud end viz a simpl ‘o’, u, ov, uv ets.

Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid tu ozer kombinashons of leters.

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vud find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.


PETER JONES, Port Talbot, West Glamorgan.

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Gloucester

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #35 on: August 17, 2017, 11:31:56 PM »
^ An odious idea but the demonstration is a work of art as well as the result of some effort.

That is what I appreciated about it. From experience one has to "proof read" such many times to get it right! Glad I found it on the archive drive whilst looking for something else.
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hermes2015

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Re: Language oddities and funnies
« Reply #36 on: August 18, 2017, 02:28:07 AM »
Reminds me of Yiddish versus German.