Things that make you chuckle

[Biggus Dickus]

That was really good JJ,...going to try and memorize that.

[Icarus]

I liked it too JJ. I have long contended that woman's brain operates on DC current and men's brain is an AC circuit.

That reminds that I must also have my oil changed soon.

That guy is lucky to get out of the transmission shop for $600.  My Honda Element suddenly refused to let me move the shift lever out of Park position.  I had to use a screwdriver to move the over ride mechanism that locks the thing in park,  It is a solenoid that must be energized to release the shift lever.  The solenoid circuit is wired in parallel with with the brake light circuit. The Honda dealer said that it could cost as much as $1800 to fix the problem.  I fixed the damned problem for a dollar and twenty cents.  The brake pedal has an extension that operates the brake light switch when the pedal is pushed.. The extension has a little plastic pad between the extension and the brake light switch.  The little plastic pad had fallen off or deteriorated in such a way that it did not actuate the brake switch and therefore not the shift lever solenoid.  I put in a new plastic pad in about two minutes. ..............Hey this is supposed to be a makes you chuckle thread.  ............................................

Friend wife took her Toyota Prius to the dealer to have the oil changed.  The service department, looking for things to charge exorbitant amounts for,  pulled the cabin air filter out and showed it to her. Filthy.  I had instructed her to not let them sell her a new cabin filter. It was so dirty that she said OK change the filter.  No telling whether it was even the filter out of her car or a filter from the local scrap yard. She said; how much? They said $29.95.  When the itemized bill came, the filter was billed at $25 plus $15 for labor. MFers took advantage of a woman as they usually do. It takes maybe two minutes to replace the fucking filter....it is behind the glove case, easy to access. .....The filter costs less than ten dollars at the local auto parts store. That ain't all.  The synthetic oil is billed at $5.85 per quart. The thieving bastards charge $11.50 labor to change the damned oil., $3.00 for disposal, and $2.50 for shop supplies....I presume that the $2.50 is for the paper towels and soap that they used they used to wash their hands.  One oil change and a new cabin filter....out the door....$105.  I am not chuckling but I promise to assume a better attitude in the future.  Well maybe not at the auto dealers service department.

[jumbojak]

The button on the brake switch fell apart on my acura too. I replaced it with a penny held in place with a piece of scotch tape. I have the button and should probably put it in soon. Not sure how long the tape will hold up...

Hondas are strange vehicles. In so many ways they're practical, reliable, and easy to maintain. Their quirks are just frigging strange though. Why on earth do they drill a hole in the brake pedal assembly just big enough for the switch plunger to pass through? Why in the hell do you have to replace wheel bearings just to replace a broken wheel stud? And those damn flathead screws that they use on brake rotors should be banned worldwide!

Oh well, the honda crowd can still laugh about their vehicles bring a whole heap better than any domestic while still being much cheaper than a Toyota.

[Arturo]

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

ETA two words and a whole context to go with them!

Or a combine harvester in a concert

[Arturo]

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

cute!

[xSilverPhinx]

It's in the blood...

[xSilverPhinx]

[Dave]

It's in the blood...

In an assessment "Vote for Joe" type exam for selection for technician training in the RAF the question that stuck in my mind was,:

The shape of a radar antenna reflector dish is:
A. diabolic
B. carbolic
C. hyperbolic
D.  symbolic

[Bad Penny II]

The shape of a radar antenna reflector dish is:
A. diabolic
B. carbolic
C. hyperbolic
D.  symbolic

All of the above elegantly arrayed.
And there should be sub dishes to catch spills.

[jumbojak]

I usually just wind up catching mailboxes when I'm too wide...

https://youtu.be/so-Iyf7_Akk

[xSilverPhinx]

^   No cone shall stand in the way of this mighty machine!

[Dave]

^
^
Beware! The cone crushing colossus cometh!

[xSilverPhinx]

Reminds me of the time, back when my sister had just learnt how to drive, she tried parking a car in a space flanked on either side by cones. She quickly succeeded in toppling one over and dragged it back and forward as she maneuvered. It took a few attempts. The scene was hilarious because she didn't notice that she had run over a cone, and would every now and then happily grin at me as she went back and forth.

'Mission accomplished', she said as she stepped out.

I enjoyed laughing at her expense that day.

[Dave]

I saw a young woman looking at her really shiny car, her ptide and joy, with a really worried expression, she looked almist in tears. I asked her whst was wrong.

"It makes this terrible noise when I drive it, has done since I parked it over there." "Over there" was next to a bit of resurfacing work. With small cones.

I got her to drive the car slowly, terrible grinding noise. Knelt down snd looked undernesth.

Yup, she had run over a cone and it was jammed into the transmission tunnel! This was a few decades ago. Pinched a bit of rope from the pile of the workers' kit, passed it under the car in front of the cone, took the ends out the back and tied them to the towball on my car. Took two goes st that to pull it out. My similar happening was a thickish twig; once I realised what it was I just drove on until it wore away and dropped out - collecting strange looks on the way.

[Arturo]

My friend just told me this hilarious story and good thing it was over the internet because I was laughing my ass off behind the screen.

So she says was not doing so well and she had to excommunicate her mom. Because her mom got drunk, stole a car, and drove through a brick wall and into another car. And the brick wall was holding back lots of stuff already. So she drove through a brick wall, through everything it was retaining, through another brick wall, and into another car, and had to be lifted off of the other car to be towed away. LOL