Four cats, a shotgun and an alligator skin handbag.
What was the question?
(Then offer another answer.)
Quote from: Dave on May 24, 2018, 09:33:29 PM
Four cats, a shotgun and an alligator skin handbag.
What was the question?
(Then offer another answer.)
Q: What was left after the tornado hit the trailer park?
...
New answer:
"You may be right, but with a nose like that, I'm not willing to ask!"
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.track-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=f353a097b7fa320a83725d3a62387796903212f8) joeactor:
"You may be right, but with a nose like that, I'm not willing to ask!"
Hey Billy, don't you think You may be right,I may be crazy , But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for, sounds better?
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary.
Quote from: No one on May 25, 2018, 03:28:20 AM
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary.
What did the Brothers of the Holy Order of Saint Bonaventure use to achieve orgasm last Friday night?
New answer: one buzzard, two armadillos, and three skunks.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on May 25, 2018, 03:47:06 AM
Quote from: No one on May 25, 2018, 03:28:20 AM
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary.
What did the Brothers of the Holy Order of Saint Bonaventure use to achieve orgasm last Friday night?
New answer: one buzzard, two armadillos, and three skunks.
What's your craziest sex story?
Next answer: Drugs, Mental Illness, and the Elderly.
Quote from: Arturo on May 25, 2018, 05:11:01 AM
Next answer: Drugs, Mental Illness, and the Elderly.
The Electoral College.
Why do you think they voted for Trump?
Answer: In the middle of a cornfield in south-central Nebraska.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) Raps247:
In the middle of a cornfield in south-central Nebraska.
Where's Waldo?
Cat's foot, iron claw, neurosurgeons scream for more , at paranoia's poison door.
Quote from: No one on May 25, 2018, 07:28:12 AM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) Raps247:
In the middle of a cornfield in south-central Nebraska.
Where's Waldo?
Cat's foot, iron claw, neurosurgeons scream for more , at paranoia's poison door.
Trampled under foot in the mob he was trying to hide in when the police horses and water cannons turned up!
-------------
Why did you have to go and do that!?
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2)Dave:
Why did you have to go and do that!
Didn't the wet paint signs give you a clue, Einstein?
Concrete cold, face cased in steel. Stark sharp, glass-eyed, crack and peel. Bright light, scream beam, brake and squeal.
Quote from: No one on May 25, 2018, 01:59:10 PM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2)Dave:
Why did you have to go and do that!
Didn't the wet paint signs give you a clue, Einstein?
I don't speak, or read, No-onean!
-----------
With a hundred kilos of used toilet paper!
(I got it wrong :redface:
Quote from: No one on May 25, 2018, 01:59:10 PM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2)Dave:
Why did you have to go and do that!
Didn't the wet paint signs give you a clue, Einstein?
Concrete cold, face cased in steel. Stark sharp, glass-eyed, crack and peel. Bright light, scream beam, brake and squeal.
So can you say for the courtroom what it was like to be in prison?
This city is full of shit! Literally full of shit! Fucking sewers flooded the whole damn town and now everyone is walking in each other's shit and other relinquishes!
Why on earth would you want to move to another city?
A roaring fire, a folding table and chair, a baguette, some aged cheddar and a bottle of Laphroaig.
Quote from: Bluenose on May 26, 2018, 12:45:42 AM
A roaring fire, a folding table and chair, a baguette, some aged cheddar and a bottle of Laphroaig.
Primitive/Modern manA man should provide his woman the basic necessities, what are they?
A: I don't think so.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2)Raps247
I don't think so.
Is rap music?
The wall on which the prophets wrote, is cracking at the seams. Upon the instruments of death, the sunlight brightly gleams.
Q. What's your opinion of this breakfast cereal?
A. Pulled pork and smashed avocado
Quote from: Bad Penny II on May 26, 2018, 03:01:52 PM
A. Pulled pork and smashed avocado
What diagnosis did the vegan get when he visited the Dr about a groin injury?
new answer: "Fleas?!?! I thought you said Knees!"
Q This is the Land of THE FRee,
To pass you moost answer
do yoy have fnees?
A. I always meant to but I never got around to it.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on May 26, 2018, 03:36:37 PM
A. I always meant to but I never got around to it.
Did you ever get to rub in
No one's face the fact that In 2018, rapper Kendrick Lamar won the award for his 2017 rap album Damn?
A:
Somewhere over the rainbow.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) Raps 247:
Somewhere over the rainbow.
Where is rap considered talent?
Death seed blind man's greed. Poets' starving children bleed. Nothing he's got he really needs.
Quote from: No one on May 26, 2018, 05:18:23 PM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) Raps 247:
Somewhere over the rainbow.
Where is rap considered talent?
Death seed blind man's greed. Poets' starving children bleed. Nothing he's got he really needs.
Need a new answer, No-One!
Death seed blind man's greed. Poets' starving children bleed. Nothing he's got he really needs.
Quote from: No one on May 26, 2018, 05:22:48 PM
Death seed blind man's greed. Poets' starving children bleed. Nothing he's got he really needs.
And the survey says!?
Answer: Yes officer, I do. I gave it to your daughter too!
Quote from: No one on May 26, 2018, 05:22:48 PM
Death seed blind man's greed. Poets' starving children bleed. Nothing he's got he really needs.
Sorry, thought that was just your new signature style!
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) Dave:
Sorry, thought that was just your new signature style!
No worries Dave, no one is perfect.
Quote from: No one on May 26, 2018, 05:48:47 PM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) Dave:
Sorry, thought that was just your new signature style!
No worries Dave, no one is perfect.
Oh, are you?
Quote from: Dave on May 26, 2018, 06:02:39 PM
Oh, are you?
Yes, I'm with Arturo and No one. Somewhere over the rainbow is where rap is considered talent.
Quote from: Arturo on July 22, 2017, 08:27:26 PM
Quote from: No one on July 24, 2017, 03:21:09 AM
IZ's voice is absolutely remarkable. It is positively beautiful.
:grin:
A:
That's just the way it is.
Quote from: Magdalena on May 26, 2018, 07:15:15 PM
:grin:
A:
That's just the way it is.
Why did you not question my answer!?!?!?!?
Answer: Yes officer, I do. I gave it to your daughter too!
The answer is that IZ is doing music that satisfies the mathematics of composition. Rap, it ain't. There are a whole bunch of talented Hawaiians who can make good music with their ukelele.
Here is a virtuosa Haiwaian/Samoan woman, Taimane Gardener, doing some Led Zeppelin stuff...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAph0bnSXsg She can play.
^
I like it!
:frolic:
Quote from: Icarus on May 27, 2018, 01:13:17 AM
The answer is that IZ is doing music that satisfies the mathematics of composition. Rap, it ain't.
...
(https://i.imgur.com/IAfk1KA.gif)
A:
Because it's a racist, white men only, type of club.
Quote from: Magdalena on May 27, 2018, 02:07:30 AM
Quote from: Icarus on May 27, 2018, 01:13:17 AM
The answer is that IZ is doing music that satisfies the mathematics of composition. Rap, it ain't.
...
(https://i.imgur.com/IAfk1KA.gif)
A:
Because it's a racist, white men only, type of club.
WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS!?
A: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/UPKEIi0z6wJ9u/giphy.gif)
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2)Jeff Goldblum:
I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!!
Want to see how good I am at tag?
Said the straight man to the late man, "Where have you been?" I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between
Quote from: No one on May 27, 2018, 05:15:41 AM
Said the straight man to the late man, "Where have you been?" I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between
Q. So what's your excuse, this time then, eh?
A. White overalls, a pair of sunglasses and a large beehive
Quote from: Bluenose on May 27, 2018, 12:58:52 PM
A. White overalls, a pair of sunglasses and a large beehive
What was Elvis' idea of the perfect woman.
New answer: Ya cain't tell what's in the pickle barrel 'till ya git the lid off'n it!
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trackie.com%2Ftrack-and-field%2Fimg%2Flayout%2Ficon_quote.jpg&hash=c5a9d5ac5c9c0366d813e18a50510fe9aa16bfc2) joeactor:
Ya cain't tell what's in the pickle barrel 'till ya git the lid off'n it!
What were cousin Jasper's last words?
In the night he's a star in the Milky Way. He's a man of the world by the light of day
What did I write the last time I was on acid?
Mongoose.
Quote from: Davin on May 29, 2018, 03:41:35 PM
What did I write the last time I was on acid?
Mongoose.
"Gaspar, what eez zat bird vous are leading on a string?"
----------
Oh, just the usual way please.
Quote from: Dave on May 29, 2018, 05:19:35 PM
Quote from: Davin on May 29, 2018, 03:41:35 PM
What did I write the last time I was on acid?
Mongoose.
"Gaspar, what eez zat bird vous are leading on a string?"
----------
Oh, just the usual way please.
"Sup Dave. My name's Bubbah. How do you want your massage today?"
-----------------
Happiness is not the absence of problems. It's the ability to deal with them.
What the only First Class passenger said while sipping his cognac right before the plane hit the ground.
New Answer: A full moon, a bathtub full of hydrochloric acid, and a broom stick.
Quote from: Arturo on May 27, 2018, 03:34:38 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on May 27, 2018, 02:07:30 AM
Quote from: Icarus on May 27, 2018, 01:13:17 AM
The answer is that IZ is doing music that satisfies the mathematics of composition. Rap, it ain't.
...
(https://i.imgur.com/IAfk1KA.gif)
A:
Because it's a racist, white men only, type of club.
WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS!?
A: I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/UPKEIi0z6wJ9u/giphy.gif)
Yes, why do we keep doing this?
I don't like rap, I fixate on the misogyny and stupid bling so I don't try to like it, or to find the poetry. My loss possibly, others obviously enjoy it. I don't feel the need to express my dislike to people that I know do like it. I can avoid it almost entirely day to day, it's not a major problem for me.
I only desire a tiny fraction of the music on offer, exclusivity adds to the appeal.
I can get evangelistic with a bit of encouragement but it'd be horrible if everyone shared my favourites.
Anyway, I think it's better to find where tastes intersect, share your likes not your dislike.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on May 30, 2018, 12:17:59 PM
I don't like rap, I fixate on the misogyny and stupid bling so I don't try to like it, or to find the poetry. My loss possibly, others obviously enjoy it. I don't feel the need to express my dislike to people that I know do like it. I can avoid it almost entirely day to day, it's not a major problem for me.
I only desire a tiny fraction of the music on offer, exclusivity adds to the appeal.
I can get evangelistic with a bit of encouragement but it'd be horrible if everyone shared my favourites.
Anyway, I think it's better to find where tastes intersect, share your likes not your dislike.
Q. How was your weekend?
A. There are many kinds, but the rarest kind is a fish.
Q. Can't you try our Davin? you only have to talk sensible and they'll let you out.
A. Mostly
Q. Is it harmless?
A. Because it turned out to be a bad idea.
Q. Why can't we start a thing?
Everyone will be nice
Prostitutes are welcome,
there'll be no stones thrown
Love and peace everywhere
A. Don't look, don't see and grow vegetables.
The idea was not to supply the answer yourself:
'A' poses a weird question and 'B' supples a, hopefully weirder, answer.
In the other variation 'A' offers a weird answer and 'B' poses a weird question that (sort of at least) fits.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 21, 2018, 03:49:29 PM
A. Don't look, don't see and grow vegetables.
Q. What do you do when you've finished playing in a mariachi band?
---
A. I see stars!
Quote from: Bluenose on July 22, 2018, 01:49:20 PM
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 21, 2018, 03:49:29 PM
A. Don't look, don't see and grow vegetables.
Q. What do you do when you've finished playing in a mariachi band?
---
A. I see stars!
Q: What happens when you go to your standing-on-your-head-and-blowing-your-nose club?
A: The clown went awol.
Quote from: Essie Mae on July 22, 2018, 02:48:53 PM
A: The clown went awol.
Q: Why did the USA world standing drastically improve?
---
A: I happen to think she looks good in a spacesuit.
Quote from: joeactor on July 22, 2018, 03:30:44 PM
A: I happen to think she looks good in a spacesuit.
Q: George, what on earth have you done with the next door neighbour's dog?
---
A: Forty seven crates of lemonade, thirteen monkey suits and a harmonica
Quote from: Bluenose on July 23, 2018, 12:43:21 AM
A: Forty seven crates of lemonade, thirteen monkey suits and a harmonica
Q: Can you just repeat that order please Jesus?
A: And deliver it to where?