Punishing puns! and spoonerisms and malapropisms etc.

Started by Tank, December 19, 2015, 11:49:35 AM

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Tank

Non-puns will be deleted  >:(

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Buddy

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it's raining," says the man.
"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.
"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Bluenose

#2
Three sailors walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would've seen it.
+++ Divide by cucumber error: please reinstall universe and reboot.  +++

GNU Terry Pratchett


Buddy

Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Tom62

Do you need an Ark?
I Noah guy!
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Buddy

My drug dealer really cracks me up.
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Buddy

Shout out to the ones who don't know the opposite of 'in'!
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Buddy

Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Guardian85



"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Buddy

 My sister bet that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta..
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Ecurb Noselrub

My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely I'll be stuck with it.