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Somewhere in between, with no-one to talk to

Started by dunamandros, February 09, 2016, 09:04:37 PM

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dunamandros

Hi folks,

I don't know if I'm in the right place registering here, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Until very recently I have been a student at a Reformed seminary studying to become a pastor. This past fall I had begun to rethink becoming a pastor, and more recently have been rethinking a lot more than that. Soon after thanksgiving I had to stop going to school and church due to health reasons. More and more, I'm not sure if I believe in God at all. This isn't the first time in my life that I've leaned away from belief in God, but it's definitely a more complicated this time because of my situation with family and friends. My wife is a devout believer in God, we have a two year (almost three) old daughter, and expect a son to be born this month. Our home life is very devoted to christianity. I'm afraid to talk to my wife about this right now. It would be cruel to drop this on her right before she has a baby. I feel alone not being able to talk to her about this, but she would feel even more alone, (and worse, betrayed) if I brought it up. Most of my family are devout Christians, and all of our friends in the area are, too. I have one brother who I could talk to about this and he would be fine with it, but given time zone differences and my health situation (a neck injury which keeps me from getting out of the house much), it would be extremely difficult to call him privately.

Right now I'm somewhere between christianity and atheism, with no-one to talk to about it. If you've read this far, then thank you for your time. Also, what in the world is the Grayce of Asmo?

Dunamandros

Tank

Hello dunamandros

First things first, where on Earth did your user name come from?

Unfortunately your story is pretty common. The change in how you see the world and family issues often clash. We have plenty of members here who can share your concerns and have been right where you are now. One member is going through the reverse of your problem. His wife is getting more religious and as she's Catholic she's attempting to take the kids with her.

Feel free to share your thought here. We're pretty friendly here.

Asmo. Well he's a small godling that as far as we know lives in Norway. For some reason he hates Luxenbourg. He's pretty much like the description of Earth in the latest revision on The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy, that is to say mostly harmless.

Pull up a chair and relax.

Welcome to HAF.

Chris
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

Welcome to the forum, Dunamandros!  :computerwave:

Sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. I don't feel I can offer you any advice since religion was never important to my family while I was growing up and most of my immediate family are not religious. Just know that if you need to vent, rant or say just about anything, there are people who will listen here.  :smilenod: :blahblah:

Asmodean, the Gray Lump, :asmo: or Grumpy Lumpy as he's sometimes called, is one of our resident deities. Until recently he was the only one as far as I'm aware, but there is someone currently claiming that title. As long as you're not in Luxembourg, you should be safe.  :grin:   
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Sandra Craft

Welcome, Dunamandros, and congratulations on the new baby.  You're definitely in the right place to vent and discuss religious questions from many angles -- we've got atheists, agnostics, at least one deist, and a liberal Xtian on board, and probably a few more variations I don't know about.  I'm generally atheistic with pagan leanings (I can get into revering Nature, but not into anything supernatural). 

And Tank's right, many of us are in or have been in situations similar to yours, so discuss anything that's on your mind.  It's almost a given someone will have already dealt with it and have advice.  If you're looking for advice -- we can also just read and type sympathetically. 

As for the Asmo, well, you'll meet him eventually.  Just don't write anything bad about rats.
Sandy

  

"Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet."  Sarah Louise Delany

joeactor

Welcome dunamandros... you're in a good place to vent and/or explore.

I'm JoeActor, the resident Agnostic Theist (vague belief in something, no use defining it ;-) )

Have a look around. Lots of good topics and answers already abound.

It's a friendly bunch (just look at the name)!

Magdalena

Quote from: dunamandros on February 09, 2016, 09:04:37 PM
...

Right now I'm somewhere between christianity and atheism, with no-one to talk to about it. If you've read this far, then thank you for your time. Also, what in the world is the Grayce of Asmo?

Dunamandros

Hello, Dunamandros, and welcome.

1. Also, what in the world is the Grayce of Asmo?
Asmo is The Gray God. Father of All Asmos. Asmodean, Asmo, The Asmo, Asmodean Prime, The Grumpy Lumpy, He/Him, The/THE, Tech Admin, Administrator. He's made of Star Stuff and He is "Omni-".

QuoteIn Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.
...And that, Dunamandros, is how, By the Grayce of Asmo, we are reborn!  :smilenod:

2. Right now I'm somewhere between christianity and atheism, with no-one to talk to about it.
You're here, now! We'll listen to you.
I'm an atheist, I can't prove it, but believe me, I am. For some reason, people around here sometimes accuse me of being a witch. I don't know why...but I'm not one, OK?  :shifty:

I really hope you stay with us and that you're able to find here what you can't find out there, at this moment.

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Icarus

Welcome to HAF, Dunamandros.  The other replies have assured you that we are a friendly and sympathetic lot. We are not militants who think that all devout Christians or other practitioners are stupid. We do wonder why they could believe so strongly in a god or some divine force for which no evidence exists.

You do have a serious problem with your increasing tendency toward non belief and your relationship with religious members of the family and your associates. If it is any consolation, you can be assured that this a common problem that has been endured by millions of people right here in the United States, so you are not alone.

Once again I will assure you that we are a friendly and caring bunch of people. We have members scattered across the globe. If you stay with us you will get to know them. One of our cherished members is a doctor of theology. We don't see her often because she lives in a foreign country where she could come to harm if she was too outspoken. That is one of the problems with strict religious doctrine.  More strife has been caused by religious differences than any other cause in history. ISIS, Al Shabab, and Boko Haram are prominent current cases in point.

We will be your sympathetic friend unless it turns out that you are a troll. If that is discovered to be the case.........Don't waste your time or ours.

Scan the site and notice that we have many interests other than religion. Some of the threads are real fun.



Sandra Craft

Quote from: Magdalena on February 10, 2016, 04:28:51 AM
For some reason, people around here sometimes accuse me of being a witch. I don't know why...but I'm not one, OK?  :shifty:

But you are a hippie, and sometimes that can be pretty much 6 of one and half dozen of the other!
Sandy

  

"Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet."  Sarah Louise Delany

Bluenose

Gidday Dunamandros, greetings from the Land Downunder. Have a Vegemite sandwich.

You've found the right place to come to be able to talk about your situation without being judged or criticised for having doubts about faith. Many of us, like myself, started out as believers, even quite devout ones. However, after a while I and others like me began to think about what we had always accepted without evidence. We began to realize that there were major logical errors in the doctrine. Once it became obvious that some of the key tenets of the faith were nonsense, the whole house of cards came tumbling down. I don't know exactly where you are on your journey but rest assured that there are plenty here that have been through exactly  what you're going through right now. I have no experience of how to handle family members who are very negative about a lack of belief, although quite a few of my family are still believers and some of those probably think I'm "just being a rebel", I am quite open about my (lack of) belief and if does not cause me any grief. I hope you can work out how to handle your situation and that eventually you can be open about your real feelings. The only word of advice I can offer about that is that the reality is usually much less horrible than we imagine. In the end, though, only you can decide when and if you want to "come out" as an atheist. However and whenever you decide to do that you may be assured that you will find support here. Good luck mate!
+++ Divide by cucumber error: please reinstall universe and reboot.  +++

GNU Terry Pratchett


OldGit

Greetings and welcome, Dunamandros!  We're here to give friendly help by listening and responding, so bend our ears all you like.  We're genuinely interested and many of us have been in your situation.  Don't worry about His Greyness The Asmo. :D

Magdalena

Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on February 10, 2016, 06:57:57 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on February 10, 2016, 04:28:51 AM
For some reason, people around here sometimes accuse me of being a witch. I don't know why...but I'm not one, OK?  :shifty:

But you are a hippie, and sometimes that can be pretty much 6 of one and half dozen of the other!


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Crow

Quote from: Magdalena on February 10, 2016, 10:01:53 PM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on February 10, 2016, 06:57:57 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on February 10, 2016, 04:28:51 AM
For some reason, people around here sometimes accuse me of being a witch. I don't know why...but I'm not one, OK?  :shifty:

But you are a hippie, and sometimes that can be pretty much 6 of one and half dozen of the other!



Retired member.

Magdalena

Quote from: Crow on February 11, 2016, 02:06:56 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on February 10, 2016, 10:01:53 PM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on February 10, 2016, 06:57:57 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on February 10, 2016, 04:28:51 AM
For some reason, people around here sometimes accuse me of being a witch. I don't know why...but I'm not one, OK?  :shifty:

But you are a hippie, and sometimes that can be pretty much 6 of one and half dozen of the other!





Wait! Before y'all burn me, I have the right to defend myself.  >:(











:P

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Magdalena

Oh...and, dunamandros, I'm sorry you had to see this. (So embarrassing)  :-[

Crow! Let's take this outside.  >:(
:grin:

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

See what you've let yourself in for dunamandros:computerwave:
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.