Recent Posts

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Miscellaneous / Re: [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Asmodean on Today at 06:39:14 PM »
Originally, yes, but then, based seemed more fitting somehow.  ;)
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Miscellaneous / Re: [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Sandra Craft on Today at 06:22:07 PM »
Did you mean "Biased Opinions"?
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: What are you Eating right now?
« Last post by Sandra Craft on Today at 06:19:21 PM »
Buddy is illegal to cook oatmeal without Raisins  (chopped prunes will do)  and dark brown sugar.

Brown sugar is fine but raisins are gross  :P

I agree wholeheartedly.

How about cransins?
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: For Hermes
« Last post by hermes2015 on Today at 02:13:00 PM »

Gotta love this parrot! ;D

Ha, that's funny. It brought a little light into this sad day.

My little parrot only swears in the Bengali language, and only at my partner, who was born in Bangladesh. Strangely enough, she never swears at me.
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: For Hermes
« Last post by jumbojak on Today at 01:40:27 PM »
That's hilarious.
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: For Hermes
« Last post by Asmodean on Today at 01:08:09 PM »
I agree with the parrot (Whom, by the way, I can barely understand, beyond its heart-felt rage)

Ruin a perfectly good home like that..!  >:(
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Laid Back Lounge / For Hermes
« Last post by xSilverPhinx on Today at 01:04:47 PM »
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Miscellaneous / Re: [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Asmodean on Today at 11:11:22 AM »
The Facebook-link? The post appears public, and the link is trimmed down to the post number and works for me, so... *scratch* We needs a fifteen year old what knows how Facebook functions.
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Miscellaneous / Re: [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Tanksinatra on Today at 10:51:38 AM »
Linky not worky.
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Miscellaneous / [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Asmodean on Today at 09:56:44 AM »
The opinions in this series of essays may be controversial and contain provocative language and general insensitivity... Also, they are likely to be on the rambly side. Note that if you are so inclined, you CAN change my mind. All it takes, is demonstrating that my view is internally inconsistent and/or fallacious and/or factually incorrect.

This post is inspired by a Facebook discussion here


For some time now, I've seen campaigning from politicians, various charitable organizations and individuals alike with the stated end goal of ending bullying at school. Well... I have a few problems with that, and the campaigners can rarely be arsed to address them. Usually, they just call me an asshole and drop the mic, as if being an asshole is somehow enough to invalidate the argument. (Read up on Fritz Zwicky if you are among those. Then, I may give you another name to consider)

The arguments for "zero tolerance" stances on bullying can usually be deconstructed to an emotional appeal; "but won't somebody think of the poor victim," they cry. They cry, and the public listens. After all, who among us has not been on the receiving end of some unpleasantness by the other kids in our wee years? Well... What about the rest of us then, I ask?

Let's get to my anecdote then. I look back at growing up from the arrogant heights of someone who "fought and won," if by my own standards - in this case, the only standards which truly matter. Self-confidence, self-worth, pride in my own achievements... I did not get any of those from being one of "everybody's a winner," or from hearing how darling and special I was. I was told that on occasion, but if I chose to believe it, or act on it as though it was true, and then did not put the work into actually making it so, or maintaining my unique and special superiority over the mediocrity of the gray masses, life usually took little time in kicking me squarely in the nuts, then taking a hammer to my illusions.

I think most of us have been there - some more often than others. I also think that for most of us, those experiences were a valuable part of growing up. When your childhood pet dies, it can be devastating, but you get over it and maybe learn something in the process - to deal with grief and loss. To not take those things in your life, which have "always" been there for granted. That what you have today may well be gone tomorrow. Bad things happen. Sometimes, bad things persist through no fault of your own. It's old news to most adults, but the kids have to actually learn it at some point in order for it to become "old news," which I think this example goes a long way in demonstrating.

Me, I'm a nerd, with all the social niceties that entails when you are a young nerd. For instance, I suck at sports. Never been particularly interested in most of them - never been particularly good at any. I did get my share of "harassment" over that fact, but it's partly what drove me to focus on my intellectual pursuits. That's not the only valid way out of it - I could have hit the gym, or joined a band, but that was a way that worked for me. I couldn't hit that goal if I stood in it, you keep saying? Well, I know that I can do mathematics that would make your hair fall out from just seeing. You may be the alpha dog now, but I am playing the long game.

My point here is not necessarily "find your talents and prove them wrong," as some people just are pretty much talentless, and actively trying to "prove them wrong" may just paint an even bigger target on your back - the abovementioned "alpha dogs" don't respond kindly to challenges. Rather, the point is that... I did not come to my well-adjusted view on my interactions with others through being protected from bruised feelings or eye sockets, or being made to fit in, or being forced to be friendly with people I didn't want anything to do with outside "work setting," or any of that nonsense. It was one fight after another, and on rare occasion those fights involved actual punches being thrown. Some I won, many I lost. I got over it - wins and losses alike. I wish no ill upon any-one who bullied me as a kid.

Note that I am not saying that driving someone to the point of suicide - or homicide, as is "trendy" in certain parts of the world, is acceptable. Obviously, it is not. Still, let the kids be kids. If you as a parent or a teacher or a friend se an actual, real problem... Help the kid in question. That individual kid. Don't try using the law to hinder the bulk of the bell curve from growing up to be regular, well-adjusted people.

Scope: "normal" hierarchy-building interactions among kids. Things like sustained physical violence, or singling-out and subjecting to abuse over time of a person based on characteristics they cannot control are not something I find readily acceptable. Still, I think this is where the parents, the school... The "within-range" adults should step in and dole out some threats, wisdom and learning, but I'll save blaming the parents for later.
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