Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

[Sweetdeath]

LOL Books cats.

[Amicale]

Better to ride an elevator with a happy-seeming couple sucking faces than with a bunch of people who try not to look at each other while wearing long-suffering expressions.

But their suffering gives me strength!
I'm a weirdo who actually enjoys the long akward silences in elevators.
It's only irritating when out of nowhere the person gets off with a "have a nice day! " and i'm like "wtf...??"

I'm fine with uncomfortable silences too, not good with the talking.  But I am tempted, when somebody says "have a nice day!" to say "up yours!" in the same friendly tone.

I'm one of those people you'd say 'up yours' to, then.  If I run into a stranger in public who looks friendly, I'm liable to make small talk, comment on the weather, or just sincerely wish them a great day. I never mean anything odd by it, other than hoping that the person I'm standing next to actually has a decent day. Can I ask you why it annoys you? Most people saying it would probably mean it sincerely, so I dunno.  If someone says it to me, I just say 'thanks, you too!'

[Sandra Craft]

I'm one of those people you'd say 'up yours' to, then.   If I run into a stranger in public who looks friendly, I'm liable to make small talk, comment on the weather, or just sincerely wish them a great day. I never mean anything odd by it, other than hoping that the person I'm standing next to actually has a decent day. Can I ask you why it annoys you? Most people saying it would probably mean it sincerely, so I dunno.   If someone says it to me, I just say 'thanks, you too!'

I honestly don't know why it brings out a hostile reaction in me, and it's not because I'm one of those people who thinks they're being told what to do or how to feel -- I know I'm not being given instructions of any kind, I know the other person is just being friendly, but it grates.  In any case, you probably wouldn't say it to me because I doubt I'd look friendly enough for it.

[Dobermonster]

I'm one of those people you'd say 'up yours' to, then.   If I run into a stranger in public who looks friendly, I'm liable to make small talk, comment on the weather, or just sincerely wish them a great day. I never mean anything odd by it, other than hoping that the person I'm standing next to actually has a decent day. Can I ask you why it annoys you? Most people saying it would probably mean it sincerely, so I dunno.   If someone says it to me, I just say 'thanks, you too!'

I honestly don't know why it brings out a hostile reaction in me, and it's not because I'm one of those people who thinks they're being told what to do or how to feel -- I know I'm not being given instructions of any kind, I know the other person is just being friendly, but it grates.  In any case, you probably wouldn't say it to me because I doubt I'd look friendly enough for it.

I can relate to this kind of reaction. It has to do with the complete insincerity that usually accompanies those kinds of trite phrases. Like the "How are you?" and "Good, thanks" interactions we have every day without any real thought. I've actually taken to replying "Terrible. Yourself?" just to catch them off guard. I know it's something of an evil necessity, a kind of social lubricant that lets us ease into whatever interaction we were really trying to get to, or feel that we must say to avoid looking like a prick. But then who says we can't have a little fun with different flavors?

[Amicale]

I honestly don't know why it brings out a hostile reaction in me, and it's not because I'm one of those people who thinks they're being told what to do or how to feel -- I know I'm not being given instructions of any kind, I know the other person is just being friendly, but it grates.  In any case, you probably wouldn't say it to me because I doubt I'd look friendly enough for it.

If you looked like this while standing on an elevator with me...



....you're right, I wouldn't wish you a nice day, I'd get the hell off the elevator ASAP. 

[Amicale]

I can relate to this kind of reaction. It has to do with the complete insincerity that usually accompanies those kinds of trite phrases. Like the "How are you?" and "Good, thanks" interactions we have every day without any real thought. I've actually taken to replying "Terrible. Yourself?" just to catch them off guard. I know it's something of an evil necessity, a kind of social lubricant that lets us ease into whatever interaction we were really trying to get to, or feel that we must say to avoid looking like a prick. But then who says we can't have a little fun with different flavors?

I've worked with the public generally for years in a variety of different roles, including education, home care, and customer service. While it's true that on a really tired, busy, crazy day you MIGHT ask someone 'how are you?' just because it's the role you're in/your job to welcome them.... generally speaking, if I ask someone "how are you?" I mean it. I've had people like you answer "terrible. You?", and if at all possible, I take the time to actually ask them why they're doing terribly and if they'd like to talk about it -- if they don't want to, I wish them well and sincerely tell them I hope things go a lot better. So if you did that to catch me off guard or throw me off, I'd probably catch YOU off guard. 

Although, sometimes when someone asks me how I am, I DO also definitely have a little fun with different flavours. Among my favourite answers are "still above room temperature!", "still on this side of the soil!" and "the voices in my head tell me I'm doing great!".... and then I wait for the reactions!

[Sandra Craft]

[I can relate to this kind of reaction. It has to do with the complete insincerity that usually accompanies those kinds of trite phrases.

When I thought about it more, the thing that grated on me was a sense that the person speaking was smug or mocking.  I can't imagine Amicale speaking in that tone of voice, so perhaps I'd just respond to her with a watery smile.

If you looked like this while standing on an elevator with me...



....you're right, I wouldn't wish you a nice day, I'd get the hell off the elevator ASAP. 

That does rather resemble me on one of my moody days.

Although, sometimes when someone asks me how I am, I DO also definitely have a little fun with different flavours. Among my favourite answers are "still above room temperature!", "still on this side of the soil!" and "the voices in my head tell me I'm doing great!".... and then I wait for the reactions!

I've occasionally given the "terrible" response to "how are you?" and gotten "that's great" in reply.  I'm not sure if they meant it was great or just weren't listening.

[Dobermonster]

I can relate to this kind of reaction. It has to do with the complete insincerity that usually accompanies those kinds of trite phrases. Like the "How are you?" and "Good, thanks" interactions we have every day without any real thought. I've actually taken to replying "Terrible. Yourself?" just to catch them off guard. I know it's something of an evil necessity, a kind of social lubricant that lets us ease into whatever interaction we were really trying to get to, or feel that we must say to avoid looking like a prick. But then who says we can't have a little fun with different flavors?

I've worked with the public generally for years in a variety of different roles, including education, home care, and customer service. While it's true that on a really tired, busy, crazy day you MIGHT ask someone 'how are you?' just because it's the role you're in/your job to welcome them.... generally speaking, if I ask someone "how are you?" I mean it. I've had people like you answer "terrible. You?", and if at all possible, I take the time to actually ask them why they're doing terribly and if they'd like to talk about it -- if they don't want to, I wish them well and sincerely tell them I hope things go a lot better. So if you did that to catch me off guard or throw me off, I'd probably catch YOU off guard. 

Although, sometimes when someone asks me how I am, I DO also definitely have a little fun with different flavours. Among my favourite answers are "still above room temperature!", "still on this side of the soil!" and "the voices in my head tell me I'm doing great!".... and then I wait for the reactions!

Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who ask the question genuinely. Being a nurse, it's literally my job to do that. And I do recognize the people who respond to "Terrible" with sincere interest or concern. However - and maybe it's an unfortunate side effect of Canadian uber-politeness - my observation is that the majority of askers don't. Of course I'm guilty of being trite from time to time - the social lube is a slippery slope.

(Jots down your answers for future use)  

[Tank]

This PDA discussion appears to have taken on a life of its own so I split it off.

[Ali]

It's okay Amicale.  You can come to Denver and make small talk with me.  I usually don't initiate small talk with strangers, but I'm happy enough to chat with people if they start talking to me.  I'm friendly looking too; I almost always try to smile at people when I make eye contact with them. 

[Asmodean]

Where can get?!

[Mocha Chief]

I thought someone hacked my account and started this thread.

[Amicale]

Where can get?!

Mate a cat with a chupacabra.



I just advise that you do so very, very carefully... 

Now, that's one public display of affection I don't think I'd want to see...

[Tank]

I thought someone hacked my account and started this thread.

[Asmodean]

I thought someone hacked my account and started this thread.

Culprit.