Dealing with the condescending...

[MinnesotaMike]

I've a quick question for my fellow rationalists on here: how do you remain so in the face of incredible disrespect? Whenever the subject of religion/prayer/theism is brought up with a Christian, it seems they are entirely dismissive and condescending when you're trying to have an actual conversation. Most recently:

-"Prayer changes things!"

-"A pair of hands at work will accomplish more than a thousand folded in prayer."

-"We are all ignorant, just on different subjects."

I don't know why, but this type of remark really burns me. After this little transaction I stated that she was being condescending, and she didn't object at all. The premise that anyone who doesn't agree with you is ignorant is typically laughable, but the irony was (apparently) lost on her.

Furthermore, I want to state that I don't lash out or participate in militant atheism, and I never resort to violence or verbal abuse. Usually I'm like a puppy... made out of bunnies... but I believe the dismissive attitude is inexcusable and it just makes me livid. Any idea as to why this is so frustrating? And how do you guys deal with it (if you find it frustrating as well)?

[Recusant]

I've a quick question for my fellow rationalists on here: how do you remain so in the face of incredible disrespect? Whenever the subject of religion/prayer/theism is brought up with a Christian, it seems they are entirely dismissive and condescending when you're trying to have an actual conversation. Most recently:

-"Prayer changes things!"

-"A pair of hands at work will accomplish more than a thousand folded in prayer."

-"We are all ignorant, just on different subjects."

I don't know why, but this type of remark really burns me. After this little transaction I stated that she was being condescending, and she didn't object at all. The premise that anyone who doesn't agree with you is ignorant is typically laughable, but the irony was (apparently) lost on her.

Furthermore, I want to state that I don't lash out or participate in militant atheism, and I never resort to violence or verbal abuse. Usually I'm like a puppy... made out of bunnies... but I believe the dismissive attitude is inexcusable and it just makes me livid. Any idea as to why this is so frustrating? And how do you guys deal with it (if you find it frustrating as well)?

Sometimes, but I've gotten used to it. One way to look at it is to put yourself in their shoes.

They know that the almighty creator of heaven and earth is on their side. This almighty being became a person here on earth for the express purpose of saving them from eternal damnation. He cares deeply for each and every one of them. Many of them (especially modern Protestants in the US) believe that they have a personal relationship with that almighty being.  It's pretty heady stuff. I think it would be hard to really believe these things and not be dismissive and condescending toward people who thought that their mere human understanding, unaided by Jesus/YHVH/Holy Ghost, is better, or more realistic, or (scoff) superior to having a personal relationship with the almighty.

So you know that such a being exists, and that they love you and have made the effort to tell you what you need to know (scripture) and have actually allowed themselves to suffer and die for your sake, and that you are insignificant in comparison. Yet some other person who is just as insignificant is trying to deny these facts. They don't have a god on their side. In fact, the only reason they deny the truth is because they've been deceived by other people or by the devil or one of his minions.  They just don't know it or don't want to accept it.  Actually, deep down they know (because, really, everyone knows) that the god exists, but are too stubborn and too willful and too far gone in their denial and acceptance of the deceit of the devil to admit that they know it. Why would you respect somebody like that? The Bible tells you to love them, and you try to do that (in a pitying sort of way, I imagine) but it doesn't tell you to respect them.  They have fallen into the traps laid for them by the devil; that doesn't deserve respect. I imagine that it's hard not to be smug when you know all these things and some deluded fool tries to act like they know what's going on. The things that you, MinnesotaMike, are "ignorant" of, according to the person you were talking with, are the most important things of all. Yet you prattle on about "A pair of hands at work will accomplish more than a thousand folded in prayer." That actually is pretty disrespectful in itself, if seen from their point of view.

[Tank]

Bad manners know no bounds. Condescending people come in all shapes and sizes, Christopher Hitchins springs to mind right alongside Ken Ham. I know it's difficult to retain a sense of equilibrium when faced with the behaviour of a minority of people who simply live inside their own heads and consider all around them stupid. There is a story about the Buddha. He was sitting under a tree meditating when a man came up and started rudely remonstrating about something or other. The Buddha ignored him until eventually the rude man asked the Buddha why he was being ignored. The Buddha replied along the liners of "I would not accept rotten melons from you so why should I accept your rudeness." Thus showing that the man's behaviour was the man's problem and that he was not bound to react to him the way he wanted.  

So take a leaf out of the Buddha's book and simply leave the rotten fruit where it lies.

[MinnesotaMike]

Rotten fruit is not so easy to reject when thrown.

[Tank]

Rotten fruit is not so easy to reject when thrown.

Learn to dodge!

[Medusa]

Coincidentally I get alot of this condescending attitudes from non theists as well. Everyone is entitled to be a douche I suppose.

[Tank]

Coincidentally I get alot of this condescending attitudes from non theists as well. Everyone is entitled to be a douche I suppose.

Yep. But don't abuse the privilage

[Medusa]

Coincidentally I get alot of this condescending attitudes from non theists as well. Everyone is entitled to be a douche I suppose.

Yep. But don't abuse the privilage

Women are allowed that once a month. Or we stink.

[Whitney]

I don't really run into that situation.  I think that there are situations where returning a rude but true comment is called for.

[MinnesotaMike]

I don't really run into that situation.  I think that there are situations where returning a rude but true comment is called for.

I do my best to refrain from being rude; if they aren't willing to play ball I won't continue. It just bothers me when they feel divinely justified to be less than human.

[Ihateyoumike]

I find that a healthy dose of passive aggressiveness and sarcasm usually does the trick. It's especially fun with the real dumb ones because you can make them look like complete buffoons while letting them think they're getting through to you.

It's like being an ninja-asshole.

[Medusa]

Oddly I'm direct aggressive in my talk to poeple. I get right to the point. But when I do that I am deemed being suspicious in nature with ulterior motives. I can't win 

[Tank]

Oddly I'm direct aggressive in my talk to poeple. I get right to the point. But when I do that I am deemed being suspicious in nature with ulterior motives. I can't win 

You would do well in Germany, they don't do 'small talk', in fact I think there isn't even a term for 'small talk' in the german language. Cue OldGit, he'll know.

[Medusa]

Oddly I'm direct aggressive in my talk to poeple. I get right to the point. But when I do that I am deemed being suspicious in nature with ulterior motives. I can't win 

You would do well in Germany, they don't do 'small talk', in fact I think there isn't even a term for 'small talk' in the german language. Cue OldGit, he'll know.

Well there is a possibility I might end up in Germany depending on where Lecter moves us to. But I do know I'd make a great Arab woman. Ever hear them talk? They are very direct and aggressive! 

[OldGit]

I'll pass on the question to TheAnyKey, since he's a native!