How do you handle being the only atheist in a group of Christian friends?

[DeterminedJuliet]

Have you tried asking them nicely to stop being pushy?

I have a good number of vegan friends (I'll use them as an example since I really don't know many non-family christians anymore) and some of them are quite passionate about their reasons for being vegan; but they don't leave pamphlets about tortured baby chickens laying around and I don't leave pamphlets sitting around about how humans evolved to be omnivorous.  We are friends for other reasons, we all know that in a mixed group of vegans and omnivores that you either don't bring up that topic or pick your words carefully if you do.  I would think if your Christian friends really are your friends that they can learn to offer that same level of respect.  It's fine if they want to ask questions but leaving bibles for your and constantly trying to push you to go to church is a bit much.

Wise

[corgilover]

I still don't think corgi's friends are "being respectful."  I think they're acting like a-holes.

Depends.  I can certainly see some Christians mocking an Atheist of their disbelief when outnumbered being in the bible belt, but what I don't hear from corgilover is having specifically said to them to leave their beliefs to themselves.  It sounds more like a quiet complaint between the like-minded on corgilover's part rather than being exhausted of telling the friends to leave religion out of their daily dealings.

Haven't you ever heard that its impolite to talk religion or politics?  Honestly, I don't think it should be on corgilover to have to explicitly say "Please stop pestering me about your beliefs"; it should be on his/her friends (sorry Corgi, I don't know if you're a him or a her) to understand that if Corgi wants to hear more about Christianity, s/he will ask. 

I take the same principal with my religious friends; I never take it upon myself to start "preaching" my atheism to them.  If they have questions, they ask, but otherwise I feel it would be disrespectful for me to start yakking away at them about my beliefs all the time. 

Quite alright Ali, I thank you for not assuming I'm one specific gender.

When I was younger and lived on the West Coast, I was in the same situation, however this girl didn't care that I didn't go to Church. Of course I was ten and she was seven so life was more simple back then. I sometimes would attend her church functions to support her as she'd sing in the Choir. She'd in turn support me when I'd preform in plays.

Now that it's different, it's odd. I don't 'preach' my atheism and there have been times when I've been curious about what goes on at their youth group meetings but they're so fanatical about it that I don't ask.

[Tank]

Define "respect my beliefs"...

"Shut the fuck up preaching at me" would probably sum it up. When I want to know I'll ask!

It goes both ways. corgilover does not push her views on her friends but they appear to feel it is perfectly acceptable to push their views on her. And the reason for that is that they have been taught to preach, proselytize and witness as part of their induction/indoctrination into Christianity. They have not been taught it is right to respect that personal beliefs are personal and are debated in public by mutual consent.

[Asmodean]

Define "respect my beliefs"...

I has a reasonable definition of that, methink:

I equate respecting my beliefs to respecting my right to hold said beliefs. You may challenge them all you want, or challenge me for holding them. However, confronting aspects of me other than a particular belief because of what I believe is disrespectful of said right.

[Whitney]

I kinda see respecting beliefs as simply respecting that someone is entitled to have their own beliefs and not making it the prime focus of your relationship with that person to change their beliefs to your own...you may discuss related topics from time to time but in a civil friendly debate manner shaking hands at the end and being fine knowing your friend just doesn't agree on that topic.  I think there are some beliefs that are so bad (evil, inhumane, immediately dangerous) that while I'd still recognize legal right to holding them I would not actually respect the person and would constantly be wanting to change their views if I were forced to hang around that person.  So, "respecting beliefs" really is just a round about way of saying "respect the person."  If a person has cruel beliefs they lose that respect.  It's not like there are actually very many situations where you could not hold a belief yet still view it in high regard....I have come across the odd Chrsitian-Atheist but they are few and far between (or at least the self labeled ones are).

[Traveler]

When I grew up (I guess I'm older than the hills, eh?) it was considered impolite to talk about religion or politics. And sex? Heck, we didn't even say the word in polite company! It was nobody's business. Ah, those were the days ... *hobbling off to go knit something in my rocking chair*

[Sweetdeath]

Define "respect my beliefs"...

"Shut the fuck up preaching at me" would probably sum it up. When I want to know I'll ask!

It goes both ways. corgilover does not push her views on her friends but they appear to feel it is perfectly acceptable to push their views on her. And the reason for that is that they have been taught to preach, proselytize and witness as part of their induction/indoctrination into Christianity. They have not been taught it is right to respect that personal beliefs are personal and are debated in public by mutual consent.

That's pretty much the best way it put it Tank.

[Firebird]

I kinda see respecting beliefs as simply respecting that someone is entitled to have their own beliefs and not making it the prime focus of your relationship with that person to change their beliefs to your own...you may discuss related topics from time to time but in a civil friendly debate manner shaking hands at the end and being fine knowing your friend just doesn't agree on that topic.

I agree with Whitney's assessment. I've known some people who were on the complete opposite end of the political spectrum from me, yet we would have casual, fun arguments about our views because in the end we all respected each other and weren't trying the "convert" the other. It doesn't sound like that's what's happening here, though. Are they really trying to "convert" you, or do they just not know how to handle the situation because they've never known an atheist? Perhaps seeing that you're not some evil devil-worshiper will actually be illuminating to them.
Of course, I'm probably being overly optimistic. Hang in there, and feel free to come complain on the forum whenever you need to.

[xSilverPhinx]

Are they really trying to "convert" you, or do they just not know how to handle the situation because they've never known an atheist? Perhaps seeing that you're not some evil devil-worshiper will actually be illuminating to them.

This.

Educating Christians (many of whom don't even know how ignorant they are in the first place) is always worthwhile. IMO there's a lot to be gained from people knowing what atheism isn't.

[Buddy]

I'm lucky when it comes to friends being tolerant. We almost never talk about religion vs. atheism, but when we do, it's usually non serious banter. A boyfriend of one of the girls, however, always makes a point to say how wrong I am and that I am going to hell. It irritates not only me but all the other people in our group. Lately I have been just giving him a blank look and speaking in "tongues" (Swedish, he doesn't know the difference  ) He gives me a scared look and usually gets away from us. I seems to be working because he hasn't brought up religion in a week. 

[Sweetdeath]

You're so awesome, budhorse~

[Buddy]

You're so awesome, budhorse~

Thanks, I try. 

[Gawen]

It 'sounds' to me as if they are trying to get your goat with perhaps a victory in store if you succumb to their invitations and 'gifts'. What we're not hearing is what is the relationship with your friends any other time they aren't bothering you. There is a whole slew of things you can do...
Go to their youth meetings and somewhere along the meeting stop it and ask why God gave them the attributes of reasoning and critical thinking, why does the same god ask them to give up those attributes.

Take a Bible from them and highlight all the bad stuff in it; contradictions and immorality/unethical stuff. It'll take a while, then give it back to them to answer all the highlights you have at one of their youth meetings.

You can respect their beliefs or not. You can respect them for their beliefs or not. You can ask them for no more intervention or not. You can friendly and quietly discuss their belief system or not. You can turn the tables on them every time they confront you with knowledge of the Bible they most likely would not have (assuming you take the time to read it). You can find new friends or not. It all depends on your comfort level.

[Gawen]

But to answer your title question...

I work with 16 other guys in a small town south of the D/FW Metroplex in Texas. Odd as it may seem, there are four atheists. Myself and another are staunch atheists. The other two are those kinds of atheists that never talk atheism or religion or humanism and the like. Everyone except myself (light conservative) and the other staunch atheist (liberal) are conservatives. The odd part is religion and politics never come up.

The last time one of the Christian guys confronted me was just before Christmas a year ago. In front of everyone, he asked if I celebrated Christmas; I answered no. He then asked if I put up (or will be putting up) a Christmas tree. I answered that I did not, but will putting up a Pagan tree, just like him. He then told me that if I put up a tree, I'm celebrating Christmas. I told him that if he stays up past midnight on New Years Eve reading a book in bed that he is celebrating New Years. And then told him that if he let his kids dress up in non threatening/scary costume and let them go to church for Halloween, despite the sign in the front of the church that said "Autumn Festival", he was celebrating a Pagan festival. He got the point and shut up.

I just turn the tables on them. They leave me alone when it comes to religion.

[Too Few Lions]

next time they ask you about your atheism, just ask them if they believe Zeus, the king of the gods, exists. If they say 'no', then tell them that's how you feel about their god Yahweh. Simples.