How do you handle being the only atheist in a group of Christian friends?

[corgilover]

I attend college in a rather rural part of my state, which is located in the Bible belt of the US. I don't know how the topic came up but I told my group of friends that I was an atheist. Now, they seem determined to 'convert' me or something.

They laughed when I refused a copy of the New Testament that was being passed out at a function, and make sure to put their copies on my side of the room.

They're always talking about their youth group (or as I refer to it in my mind--their cult) and invite me constantly even though they know my beliefs.

My roommate is determined to start up religious conversations at two in the morning and they asked me why as an atheist I celebrated Christmas.

Is it too much to ask that they respect my beliefs just as I respect theirs?

[AnimatedDirt]

Define "respect my beliefs"...

[Davin]

How I handle religious friends is to politely discuss the things they bring up, and eventually they stop bringing up religious topics around me. I don't go out of my way to bring up why I don't believe in a god or gods, only if they want to bring it up with me.

[corgilover]

Define "respect my beliefs"...

Respect that I'm an atheist and don't believe in what they believe

[AnimatedDirt]

Respect that I'm an atheist and don't believe in what they believe

Call me weird, but that doesn't really give me an idea of what it means to 'respect my beliefs' means to you.  I can respect that you're atheist and still ask you questions or bring up religious ideas to discuss with you can't I?

I have a feeling you mean something more than just the above dozen words...

[Traveler]

Yeah, sounds like a pain. I'd practice saying "no thank you" and "I really don't want to talk about it" until they roll off your tongue with no effort. Hugs and best wishes!!!

Edited to add: Or you could buy some atheist books and start leaving them around for them to read. lol

[Ali]

They laughed when I refused a copy of the New Testament that was being passed out at a function, and make sure to put their copies on my side of the room.

AD, if me and a bunch of my atheist buddies made sure to put a bunch of copies of The God Delusion and God is Not Great on your side of the room after being told you're a Christian, would you find that respectful?  'Cause trust me when I say that if I did it, "being respectful" would not be my intent.

Big Hugs Corgilover.  I totally agree with Traveler - you don't need to discuss or defend your beliefs if you don't want to.  Saying a simple "No thank you" with a beautific smile often goes a long way towards making someone notice how rude they're being.

[AnimatedDirt]

AD, if me and a bunch of my atheist buddies made sure to put a bunch of copies of The God Delusion and God is Not Great on your side of the room after being told you're a Christian, would you find that respectful?  'Cause trust me when I say that if I did it, "being respectful" would not be my intent.

I would giggle since I already own those books and am reading them...well, the God Delusion, I haven't started the other.

I certainly wouldn't take it as being disrespectful of my beliefs if we were friends.

[Ali]

AD, if me and a bunch of my atheist buddies made sure to put a bunch of copies of The God Delusion and God is Not Great on your side of the room after being told you're a Christian, would you find that respectful?  'Cause trust me when I say that if I did it, "being respectful" would not be my intent.

I would giggle since I already own those books and am reading them...well, the God Delusion, I haven't started the other.

I certainly wouldn't take it as being disrespectful of my beliefs if we were friends.

I take it back, just because it makes me happy that you are reading those books.  You can come puruse my atheist library any time you like.

I still don't think corgi's friends are "being respectful."  I think they're acting like a-holes. 

[AnimatedDirt]

I still don't think corgi's friends are "being respectful."  I think they're acting like a-holes.

Depends.  I can certainly see some Christians mocking an Atheist of their disbelief when outnumbered being in the bible belt, but what I don't hear from corgilover is having specifically said to them to leave their beliefs to themselves.  It sounds more like a quiet complaint between the like-minded on corgilover's part rather than being exhausted of telling the friends to leave religion out of their daily dealings.

[Crow]

They are most likely curious about your atheism and probably don't understand what it is properly. If so fully engage with them in the conversations and be meticulous in your reasoning in a way that they can understand without being disrespectful or condescending, that way you will answer all their questions. If a person wants to talk to you at 2 in the morning about the subject they are most likely interested in some form or another. If you find it hard to express your thoughts in conversation compile a list of articles and videos that you agree with and get them to read and watch them.

[Ali]

I still don't think corgi's friends are "being respectful."  I think they're acting like a-holes.

Depends.  I can certainly see some Christians mocking an Atheist of their disbelief when outnumbered being in the bible belt, but what I don't hear from corgilover is having specifically said to them to leave their beliefs to themselves.  It sounds more like a quiet complaint between the like-minded on corgilover's part rather than being exhausted of telling the friends to leave religion out of their daily dealings.

Haven't you ever heard that its impolite to talk religion or politics?  Honestly, I don't think it should be on corgilover to have to explicitly say "Please stop pestering me about your beliefs"; it should be on his/her friends (sorry Corgi, I don't know if you're a him or a her) to understand that if Corgi wants to hear more about Christianity, s/he will ask. 

I take the same principal with my religious friends; I never take it upon myself to start "preaching" my atheism to them.  If they have questions, they ask, but otherwise I feel it would be disrespectful for me to start yakking away at them about my beliefs all the time. 

[Whitney]

Have you tried asking them nicely to stop being pushy?

I have a good number of vegan friends (I'll use them as an example since I really don't know many non-family christians anymore) and some of them are quite passionate about their reasons for being vegan; but they don't leave pamphlets about tortured baby chickens laying around and I don't leave pamphlets sitting around about how humans evolved to be omnivorous.  We are friends for other reasons, we all know that in a mixed group of vegans and omnivores that you either don't bring up that topic or pick your words carefully if you do.  I would think if your Christian friends really are your friends that they can learn to offer that same level of respect.  It's fine if they want to ask questions but leaving bibles for your and constantly trying to push you to go to church is a bit much.

[xSilverPhinx]

I don't know where you draw the line, is it disrespect or just curiosity about what an atheist thinks?

If it's the latter, than there are actually benefits to educating people on what isn't atheism is and more importantly, isn't.

They might see their attempted conversions as even necessary for your soul, so you should keep their possible motivations in mind but still firmly explain why it really isn't necessay. If they continue, then you should start treating it as a form of disrespect and act accordingly.

Well, what can I say. I'm an accomodationist and see liberal Christians as allies.

[Sandra Craft]

I don't have a problem being the only atheist among Xtian friends, since the subject of religion rarely comes up and when it does, I'm usually the one who mentions it.  One time a devout friend thought I was converting because I'd been discussing forgiveness with him and he got all happy, but that was sorted out with a simple "not converting, just asking".

I like the idea of saying "no thanks", "I'm not interested", and "please stop talking to me until 8 a.m." until they roll off your tongue.  I also like the idea, if you get tired of saying the same thing over and over, of putting those phrases on a small tape recorder and playing them to people as needed.

I don't think it's too much to expect people to understand not to be pushy talking about personal issues like religion, politics or sex (unless that's what everyone has gotten together for) but that goes out the window when those people have a "mission".  It's not right, but you can't fight it either.  Just hang in there, be polite and be repetitive: no thanks, I'm not interested . . .