The Walking Contradiction explains his screen name and hopes to meet you all

[TheWalkingContradiction]

Hello, everyone!

How to start...?  Goddess knows I am not good at introductions.  (When I say "goddess," it is to replace "god" and question why a creator deity has to be male.  Or white.  Or even old.   I am an atheist, but since I have to find common ground with theists in my family and at work, I have banished my image of the nasty old man with a long beard and instead imagine Whoopi Goldberg as Guinan in Star Trek: The Next Generation.  This image of a hip mother goddess with dreads and wonderful hats helps me to maintain my poise when listening to godtalk.)   

I may start a war with Trek fans--not a good idea in my first post!--but I have always felt that Troi and Riker should be transferred off the Enterprise so that Guinan could be both ship's counselor and Number One.  And then maybe she could marry Jean-Luc Picard and be a better mother to Wesley (Picard's son, in my opinion) than Bev.  

I may have just gotten myself banned from the board.     Maybe I can redeem myself...

Guinan is one of my six favorite Trek characters; the others are Leonard McCoy (TOS), Ro Laren (TNG), Gul Dukat (DS9), Kai Winn (DS9), and Kathryn Janeway (VOY).  Who am I?  A cross between Hoshi (ENT) and Tom Paris (VOY)--with liberal amounts of Monica from Friends thrown in.  

Some quick stats...

Location:  New York City

Age: Will be 47 in August.  Don't feel my age, though.

Spirituality: Atheist since 2004, but was agnostic more than a decade earlier.  Still healing from Christian Fundamentalist abuse.  

Sexual Identity: Gay Male

Sexually out of the closet: August 1, 1988

First Kiss: February 18, 1990, age 24 and a half.  (Yes, I was still a virgin then.  It was hard to break from what Christianity said about gay men even after I came out.)  

Native Language: Northeast American English

Also speak: French and Italian  

Occupation: ESL (English as a Second Language) Professor and freelance writer

Hobbies: Science fiction, classic literature, comic books, podcasts, and long walks through interesting sites here in New York or elsewhere

Madly in love with: My cat

----

What else?

I may have signed onto this site for the wrong reason, as I have just been bashed by a Christian and am feeling sorry for myself.  I don't usually wallow in self-pity, but I got to thinking that if I had more support from fellow atheists I might not hurt as badly when I am attacked.  My closest friend and another good friend are also gay atheists, but everyone in my family and most of my other friends are Christians.

My screen name...  Why am I The Walking Contradiction?  I am a left-leaning political liberal but very conservative in my private life. I believe in freedom of choice and lifestyle for all, including the right to non-monogamy or polyamory, yet I can only envision monogamy for myself and have no desire to sleep with anyone outside of a committed relationship. (I know there are other gay men who think that way, but most of them are religious and it is hard to find such a non-theist who is also decent and single.)  

I was never Mormon, but my friends call me The Mormon since I don't drink coffee, have never smoked, never having done recreational drugs, and have never been drunk. (I do drink socially once in a blue moon--but then only one or two drinks, usually a red wine or Woodpecker Cider.  Well, actually... When I was in Brussels one December I really did enjoy the mulled wine they sold in the streets near the Grand' Place.)

Far from being a wallflower, though, I have no problem doing a lot of crazy stunts in my classroom to make my students laugh and relax so that they are not so uptight about speaking English.  When I was a university student, I was hated by my peers just as I was hated in high school. Now, my university-age students enjoy my classes, seek me out, confide in me, and give me top evaluations every semester.  I had to enter middle age to be accepted by young people.  Go figure!

O.K., this is already too long (which is usual for me), so I had better stop here.

What else do you want to know?

More importantly, what can I contribute to the board?

[Firebird]

Welcome! I am sorry to hear that you've had such painful experiences in the past. We have a wide range of members here who have signed up for similar reasons, including to find a support group of like-minded individuals. Several members have shared experiences they've had with less than sympathetic religious folks, and some even come from religious families who have not always been accepting of their atheism. I encourage you to browse some of the previous posts for these. We're a friendly bunch 

I like Guinan, but no way she would marry Picard; their relationship just doesn't seem right that way. But Troi is a pretty useless character. Would have been interesting to see Riker and Ro in a real relationship, instead of that one-off when the whole crew had amnesia. Yes, fellow Trekkie here. Wife and I are watching TNG all the way through and are up to season 7.

Anyway, welcome to HAF!

[Recusant]

Hello and welcome to HAF, Walking Contradiction. I enjoyed your intro post! I can't speak for everyone, but I think that if you contribute your voice to conversations here, that will be plenty.

Notes for new members from Tank:

The Rules.

Users who comply with forum rules will graduate to full membership after 10 posts. Till that time your ability to post is limited to the "Getting to Know You" section of the forum. It is our hope that this small restriction improves the overall atmosphere of HAF.

Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from?
10 Things About Yourself
Tell us A Bit About Where You're From
Photography
Non-religious pet peeves
Pets...what do you have?
How to tell your family you are an atheist.*
"Rules for Conducting a Discussion" by Dr. Mortimer J. Adler*

*You will need 10 posts before you can add a post to this thread, but you can read it at any time.

I hope you enjoy your time reading and posting here!

[markmcdaniel]

Welcome. A few contradictions never hurt anyone. Well not usually. I am not sure about Trekkies though.

[Tank]

Hello TWC

That was a top notch first class introduction, thank you very much for taking the time and effort to produce and post it.

A couple of questions, you say your first kiss happened after you came of of the closet. So was that your first ever kiss or your first gay kiss? Just curious.
I think your simple presence here is going to be a great contribution if/when you get involved in discussions (you have to make 10 posts before you can read the whole board). Your introduction illustrates you are intelligent (All Star Trek fans are intelligent), literate and thoughtful all good qualities in a good forum member.

Personally I'd have ejected Janeway and Chuckles out of an airlock. Voyager (or Star Trek with handbags) was the low point in the ST franchise for me; that's not to say I didn't watch every episode avidly but it was a good idea done so badly it was ridiculous. It was just Lost in Space (originally an idea by Gene Roddenberry) set in the ST universe.

What's the first thing a captain of a starship should do at the end of the intro episodes of Voyager? Well you have a finite number of crew, you can guarantee some will die on the way home and you're looking at a multi-generational crew. So firstly you create an interdisciplinary training program that immediately starts cross training crew members so vital skills and knowledge or disseminated. So engineers rotate through the science disciplines and visa versa. Secondly you create space and time for people to get to know each other and fraternisation rules are binned. Now if the producers had done this the scope for relationship investigation would have gone through the roof. Also you gain the critical factor that you can't spot the 'Red Shirts' any more. We know who can't die (Janeway, Chuckles, 7 of 9 etc etc) but by dispersing the skill set through the crew and broadening out the character pool you can afford to kill off a 'key' character now and then. If you want to see this done get the UK TV series about spys called Spooks. All bar one character has been killed off during the 6 series so if somebody points a gun at somebody you know the writers are not constrained to having some million-to-one lucky break to save them. Voyager was the ST series that could have been the best but ended up the worst; although still good compared to most SciFi on TV, with the exception of the modern Battlestar Galactica.

Welcome to HAF.

Regards
Chris
 

[xSilverPhinx]

Welcome!

[The Magic Pudding]

I have banished my image of the nasty old man with a long beard and instead imagine Whoopi Goldberg as Guinan in Star Trek: The Next Generation.  This image of a hip mother goddess with dreads and wonderful hats helps me to maintain my poise when listening to godtalk.) 

Ye Whoopi is OK but most of her hats were cast-offs of mine that I let her use.

[Asmodean]

When I say "goddess," it is to replace "god" and question why a creator deity has to be male.  Or white.  Or even old.

My opinion? Because the father of modern god was a rather insecure old patriarch with limited imagination, and, being a white(-ish) sort of fellow, he could not imagine his god to be anything else.

[TheWalkingContradiction]

Thank you for the replies!

Firebird: Great screen name!  It makes me think of a phoenix; those of us who have been through religion do indeed rise up from the ashes.

I want to look around a bit before I post specifics on my negative experiences with religion.  I was on an atheist board years ago, and I had to leave because too many Christians were critical of my observations.  I never mind when someone is critical or disagrees, and, because of my experience with religion, I encourage my students to disagree with me and make it clear that teachers are not always right, The New York Times is not always right, their textbooks are not always right, I am not always right...   But what I needed at the time was support, not Jesus-wants-you-to-come-back-to-him.  There were also atheist members in good standing who were trolls, and I did not need that either.  From what I have seen, I think this board is run a bit better, so I am a tad optimistic.

My parents (senior citizens) and my sister (a few years younger than I) are now in a very liberal Christian church and accept me as I am, but much of the extended family does not.  Then again, much of the extended family has always thought I was strange and lazy because --GASP!-- I like to read.  Many years ago when I became a teacher, my great uncle asked me when I was going to get a real job.

Indeed, Riker and Ro would have been interesting.  I suppose my ideas on Picard and Guinan as a married couple have been strongly influenced by Peter David's New Frontier novels.  Love Mackenzie Calhoun!

Recusant: Thank you for the welcome--and for the wonderful list of places for me to post.  Count on my visiting some.  

I have read the forum rules and understand that my first ten posts are limited to this section.  (I am confused, though, as I have seen both ten and fifty as the number of posts one needs to be a full member.  Would ten grant ensign status and fifty lietuenant status?  Does one need ten or fifty posts to modify a profile? [I cannot currently modify my age and gender, for example].)  I can see why these rules are in place, and I do think it is a good idea to limit a newbie.

markmmcdaniel: Oh, there are even more contradictions than the ones I have listed...

Tank:  Did you know that there was a 1980s comic book super-hero, a member of The DNAgents, with your screen name?  He's the guy with the red visor: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_DNAgents

Yes, my first kiss in 1990 was also my first gay kiss.  I had kissed a few young women on the cheek over the years but had never had a --passionate-- kiss with anyone until that one.  

I agree that Star Trek fans are often very intelligent and think outside of the box.  I would add general science fiction or comic fans, general geeks/nerds, goths and punk rockers, and a host of other people who are 'different' to the list.  I try to nurture all my students, but I am especially pleased with the work of these 'different' folks.  (I teach four classes every semester, and at least one is always a beginners ESL class.  However, most of my classes are for students who already speak English kinda sorta well enough but need to bring it up to an academic level for study in the U.S.  'Difference' in a foreign accent, particularly from countries like Saudi Arabia and China, is something I cherish.  And the cool thing this summer semester is how well my Saudi and Israeli students get along and even hang out together.  Love it--especially since I am half Arab myself and support both Israel and Palestine; I choose people, not governments!)  

I am also Sicilian on my father's side, and I get stereotyped in many different ways as a person of Arabic and Sicilian/Italian descent.

I guess 'Chuckles' is Chakotay(?).  I was not fond of him, as Robert Beltran cannot act and the character is a stereotype.  (But he is hardly my least favorite Trek character.  That honor goes to the unbelievably annoying Keiko O'Brien.)

Your take on what Voyager should have been is very interesting, and I can see where it would have made for a more enoyable series.  Alas, what could have been...  I agree that not being able to spot the redshirts would have been a positive step.  And yes, in British series main characters are never safe.

Hee hee...  I could conceivably spend all my time on this board writing about Star Trek and never get to atheism...

xSilver Phinx: Thank you!

The Magic Pudding: How could you ever cast off such wonderful hats?!!

Asmodean: Love what you wrote--and agree.

[Tank]

 

You just wasted 6 posts AND made it difficult for anybody to reply to your post. It's a good idea to quote each post you want to reply to and reply to it, then a response can be made to your reply without having to de-construct your reply etc etc.

You don't get charged by the post here.

[Siz]

Hi TWC,

Welcome.

I'm sorry to inform you that you are SOOOO wide of the ST-TNG mark . As a gay man, you must have missed the best-presented characters in the show - specifically Deannas two closest friends...

And cardboard as she may be - (and not a little confused to be shacked up with that rainbow-faced dufus Neelix) - Kes ticks many of my boxes with her elvish naivete.

As for deep philosophical coupling - there can be only one; Catherine (I'm a sucker for powerful women)

I also feel a certain sympathy for the Ferengi. They're given a bad rap just because their values are DIFFERENT from those of humans; not worse, just different. Quark is my Objectivist hero!

Anyway, glad to have set you straight... And, yes, 'superficial' is my middle name...

Hope to hear more of your input. Have fun...

[TheWalkingContradiction]

You just wasted 6 posts AND made it difficult for anybody to reply to your post. It's a good idea to quote each post you want to reply to and reply to it, then a response can be made to your reply without having to de-construct your reply etc etc.

You don't get charged by the post here.

I am happy to reply with a series of many posts, one after the other as I will do now, if that is the preferred way of communicating on this forum.  I don't care about how many posts I write or when I become a full member, though; I am more concerned with quality discussion.  Also, wouldn't it be boring to see six posts in a row from the same person?  Putting them all together seems so much tidier, he says in his anal-retentive mindset...

[Tank]

You just wasted 6 posts AND made it difficult for anybody to reply to your post. It's a good idea to quote each post you want to reply to and reply to it, then a response can be made to your reply without having to de-construct your reply etc etc.

You don't get charged by the post here.

I am happy to reply with a series of many posts, one after the other as I will do now, if that is the preferred way of communicating on this forum.  I don't care about how many posts I write or when I become a full member, though; I am more concerned with quality discussion.  Also, wouldn't it be boring to see six posts in a row from the same person?  Putting them all together seems so much tidier, he says in his anal-retentive mindset...

It's not boring at all to read 6 replies and whether displayed in one or six posts by quoting and replying one always has a context in which to read your reply.

[TheWalkingContradiction]

Hi TWC,

Welcome.

I'm sorry to inform you that you are SOOOO wide of the ST-TNG mark . As a gay man, you must have missed the best-presented characters in the show - specifically Deannas two closest friends...

And cardboard as she may be - (and not a little confused to be shacked up with that rainbow-faced dufus Neelix) - Kes ticks many of my boxes with her elvish naivete.

As for deep philosophical coupling - there can be only one; Catherine (I'm a sucker for powerful women)

I also feel a certain sympathy for the Ferengi. They're given a bad rap just because their values are DIFFERENT from those of humans; not worse, just different. Quark is my Objectivist hero!

Anyway, glad to have set you straight... And, yes, 'superficial' is my middle name...

Hope to hear more of your input. Have fun...

Remember... Walking contradiction.  I horrify fellow gay men when I say that Tom Welling is not good looking.  ("You should have your gay membership revoked," says a friend.)  My tastes are unbelievably eclectic and suit neither my straight friends nor my gay friends.  There is usually much eye rolling when I discuss my tastes.

Of course, after a friend asked me to name three women I would have the hots for if I were straight (Nichelle Nichols, Elizabeth Montgomery, and Erica Durance), I asked him to name one man he would sleep with if he were gay.  He said...  Richard Nixon.  (No, I am not kidding.  I should add that this friend is a Republican.)

Jensen Ackles is my main squeeze.  I watch Supernatural only for him--I love his character as much as his physical appearance but, in general, I don't care at all for the show.  Still, I never miss it.  So yes, call me superficial too.  

I have also adored Scott Bakula since Quantum Leap, and I think he gets better and better looking with age.

Kes has a great voice, but I just don't see anything else in her.  At times she has charm or an interesting storyline, so I don't dislike her.  She just isn't one of my favorites.  Neelix...  UGH!

Kathryn Janeway: One of my favorite characters, so we definitely agree here.  She also beats Picard as best Captain by only a teeny tiny bit.  But...  I think Picard would make the more interesting best friend.

I used to hate the Ferengi but now love them for reasons similar to yours.  The same is true of my relationship with the Cardassians.  And if you want to read an excellent Star Trek novel, a gem among all the trash, try The Neverending Sacrifice by Una McCormack.  She understands the Cardassians even better than the Star Trek writers--not surprising since she is a Professor of sociology and has constructed their society based on the hints we get in the various episodes.  The book is about 95% Cardassian (including most of the Cardassians we know from DS9) and 5% Federation.

Conversely, I used to love Julian Bashir but now can't stand him.

[Asmodean]

Me, I like the Ferengi, but that shouldn't surprise too many people here... Cardassians too, which is equally unsurprising, really.