Neighbor/Flanders Thread - Post Funny/Weird/Ect Stuff About Your Neighbors

[Dark Lightning]

Then the place was rented to some petrol head. He had a suped up Ford that was his pride and joy. Every dry evening and week end it would appear half out of the garage. Then out would come the laptop and the car would be running and being tuned for two or three, or four, hours. Just how much tuning can you give a car!?

With a Ford? You'll never get it right. At least it wasn't a Honda. You could've been charmed by the sound of a Whoopi cushion through a two inch exhaust.

  The Honda. Hereabouts we call that setup a "four inch fart can".

Not the neighbors, but the house, two doors down. Alleged druggies lived in it before we moved here, fighting in the street, arguing over who used the most dope. Anyway, the next family renovated the place and rented it out. That went bust, they sold it, and it became a halfway house. That flopped, and the next family to move in renovated it again. They moved out, and the family that lives there now, the "husband"- it's a lesbian couple with three daughters- is a contractor, and renovations ensued again. I think that on the entire street, there might be three other houses to get some amount of renovation, but that place has been worked. On a side note, the neighbors between us get shunned by us after the wife vandalized all of our cars (didn't see it happen, can't prove it, but we know). They don't like the lesbian couple because they are that way, so when we talk back and forth between houses (not that often, we usually go to one or the other's house to chat), the in-between-neighbors duck their heads or go inside. They're a couple of really nice people. I wish they lived next door!

[Icarus]

Hey you guys, whassa matter with Hondas that you so dis them? 

[jumbojak]

Nothing wrong with Hondas. They build excellent vehicles. I drive one under their Acura label. But their four cylinders sound ridiculous with a performance exhaust. Even when you see a seven second Civic it's hard not to shake your head when you hear it make a pass. It sounds like it's passing, well... Gas.

[Dark Lightning]

Not just Hondas, I was laughing at that example. Here in California (probably most anywhere, as well) I see these Subaru WRXs with these huge wings (spoilers) on the back. If it was meant to provide down force as speed, it wouldn't flap up and down. I see them where the wing is more than a foot above the roof!   

[Biggus Dickus]

This guy may drive a Honda.

[Arturo]

What if Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace and Ned Flanders were neighbors?


Bonus Question: What if they were YOUR neighbors?

[jumbojak]

I think I'd like either one of them better than my current neighbors.

[hermes2015]

This guy may drive a Honda.

I had a Honda years ago when they were still made by Mercedes Benz in their local factory, so the quality was quite good.

[Biggus Dickus]

Born and bred in Detroit, currently live just outside the city. My father worked for GM for 32 years (engineer with Cadillac), and I've been working with the automotive industry for the last 20 years. So I've only driven mostly Chevy's; plus one Dodge, two Ford's and an Oldsmobile.

I don't have any against Honda's, BMW's, Aston Martins, etc...in fact I work for a Korean company that manufactures aluminum alloy wheels, but my biggest customer is GM, and I also do some work some with Ford (I live in Dearborn which is the location of Ford World Headquarters) so driving anything other than an American brand car would be a no no with the bosses, and certainly deeply frowned upon by our customers.

Plus, I'm sure my dad would haunt my dreams if I drove anything, but an American brand car.

When I bought my first Ford my father had already passed away. It was a Ford Windstar, as I was a young dad with two little kids, so it seemed at the time the most practical vehicle for me. (You know you've grown up and finally matured when you choose a car because of it's practicality)

I had just purchased the vehicle, and on my way home stopped by my mother's house to pick up my daughter who she was watching for the day. I proudly pointed it out to her through the front window, sitting there all sparkling new in her driveway (Metallic green)...she smiled at me and said, "It's nice honey, now why don't you park that in the street, seeing how it's a Ford and all"...she was joking of course, albeit sarcastically.

Funny part is my mother's longtime neighbor came outside as I was leaving. Her husband had worked for years at Ford, and he and my dad spent their days in a friendly over-the-fence spat of which brand was better, Ford or GM...anyway the neighbor yelled over to my mom, "Hey Betty, never thought I would live to see the day a Ford product was parked in your driveway, Victor would consider that a win over Walter" (Victor was her husbands name, and Walter was my dad's)

My favorite vehicle was the Dodge...it was a 1973 Tradesman with a 360 V8. Green with tear drop windows along the rear. Inside was customized, twin leather bucket seats, with deep green shag carpeting, and a separate compartment in the back. (No seats in the back, just wall to wall carpeting and lots of pillows) (Shag carpeting was good as it soaked up spilled bong water)

Most importantly it had a state of the art stereo system, well for it's time (1982)

My father hated it,...and for good reason, as it got me into all sorts of trouble, but my friends and I certainly had some really good times in it.

Fuck, I could write for days about that van and all of the crazy times we had in it.

[jumbojak]

My dad was a Ford guy for many, many years. He had a 66 F 100 when I still called microjak, and kept that truck for the rest of his life with the intention of getting it running for me to drive when I got my license. Shortly after I was born though he got a Nissan hardbody pickup and the thing would not die. He drove it to work at the lumber yard for over a decade after getting out of farming and that's on top of taking it everywhere while the was still farming!

After he died the truck was passed on to me. I wasn't old enough to drive on the road but it carried me around the farm and back and forth to the school bus for a few years until I stupidly ran it hot one day. I really wish I hadn't done that. That truck would still be on the road if it wasn't for teenage stupidity.

Since then I've always had a lot of respect for Japanese vehicles. My Toyota carried me to college and back five days a week an hour each way. I carried me to work for many years after that and I abused that car. Claire can tell you the sad state she was in the day I parked her. 300,000 hard miles and it was the transmission that let me down. The car was still drivable but had lost overdrive and was more like piloting a small aircraft through traffic than driving a car. She rattled and moaned, and you had to make constant adjustments to the heat to keep the car from running hot. I really miss that car.

[Icarus]

One of my all time favorite cars was a 1971 Dodge Dart. Slant six engine, carbureted, primitive igniton system. It got better miles per gallon than my current Honda Element with its' sophisticated engine and all high zoot computer engine control modules.

My next favorite was a Hillman Husky from way back in the dark ages. After that in third place was my Mazda MPV. It was a damned good minivan that I drove for years with no trouble whatever except that the radiator kept crapping out and I bought several new ones before a suspiciously cheap Chinese radiator was installed and lasted as long as I had the bus. 

My wife's Subaru Outback was perhaps the best of the numerous lot of cars that we have owned, including some rather expensive other brands.  She now has a Prius and wishes that the she had the Subie instead. 

[Harmonie]

I started this thread because I was inspired by my neighbors cackle. The way she laughs makes me laugh and I am becoming more comfortable with my neighbors to the point I want to post about them.

Anyways...

my neighbot laughs Just.Like.That.

Okay, this made me laugh because I, too, have a neighbor that laughs just like that.

Technically I am bordered by 5 different other neighbors. I only really know one of them, she's a transwoman who's in the university LGBT club with me.

I also know that some of my neighbors have a tendency to smoke some strange drugs that they're not supposed to be and it gives me headaches just smelling it.