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Punishing puns! and spoonerisms and malapropisms etc.

Started by Tank, December 19, 2015, 11:49:35 AM

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Guardian85

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ecurb Noselrub

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

joeactor

I once entered ten puns in a contest hoping one would win.
But... No pun in ten did.

Guardian85

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Claireliontamer

Maybe only the Brits will get the significance of this one....


Tank

#20
^^^ Love it!

[youtube width=500]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz2-ukrd2VQ[/youtube]
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Claireliontamer


Buddy

I had a joke about murder that would've really killed but I'm sure you're all sick to death of those
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

joeactor

... a friend of mine in a Pun competition (7th year running)

Ecurb Noselrub

A local store had a very Praguematic approach to business - checks (cheques) were not accepted but Czechs were.


No one

My neighbor has seen his share of all he should see.  Been to war and back.  Everything from mustard gas to pepper spray. He is what one might call a well seasoned veteran.

Guardian85

I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Tank

So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Guardian85

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-