Marriage - why do atheists do it?

[OldGit]

Marriage has nothing to do with love. It never has. I wish people would stop making marriage seem like a magical fix to life's problems. I'm so very not into marriage..

The two don't necessarily coincide, but they often do.  We're just past our 40th anniversary and still love each other deeply, though it's not the same love as in year 1.  Yes, OK, that could still be the case without a ceremony, and as I implied, at the time we weren't particularly bothered whether we had that ceremony or not.  Now I think it was a good thing; I can see no disadvantages in hindsight and it has been a stabilising influence during the inevitable bad patches.

The fact that your girlfriend's parents are still together in a bad relationship may, I suppose, have something to do with their being married; but divorce is so easy these days that they don't have to stay married.

[Sweetdeath]

How is divorce easy?  You live in a big house and pay bills together? Dividing that up isn't easy. Not to mention the emotional toll divorce lawyers and the situation has on both people.


Though I will save myself the trouble of a pointless divorce by just not getting married, and/or depending on anyone else to take care of me. :/

[Whitney]

A quick divorce only happens when both partied can easily agree on who gets what...it is very rare for this to occur since usually one is mad at the other for something by the time it gets to that point.  If kids are involved it is even more complicated.

If not married you just grab your stuff and leave only having to go to court if the other person won't give you your stuff or if you want to claim common law marriage in order to get their stuff.

When combining incomes into a joint bank account marriage is the easiest way to make sure that things will get split up fairly if the relationship ends...but if someone is against marriage on principal a lawyer could be hired to write up any necessary contracts needed to achieve the same effect...though there are other marriage related perks in the form of tax breaks, inclusion on employee insurance plans, and hospital visitation rights if one party is in intensive care.

[Evilbeagle]

I'd have to say only for the social / governmental protection of rights and the tax benefits.

[Medusa]

I've never been one to want to be married. I'm a fiercely independent woman who has been on my own since I was about 15. I've never been overly romantic. I hate chic flicks. Won't catch me holding hands with a significant other etc. Then I actually fell in love with a man who wants more than anything to be a married man with a family. I guess his dream sort of grew on me. 

I want to be married to a man who can support me until the day I die. In exchange I will care for him until the day he dies. It's in the contract!

Mind you I come from a set of parents who were married a few times. Father was married once before my mother. Mother was married 5 times. Starting at the age of 15! And married to the last one (my father) twice!

Did I tell you we came from a very Catholic home? You wanna have sex? Get married and get out of my house. Those were my grandparents to my mother!

[Tank]

I've never been one to want to be married. I'm a fiercely independent woman who has been on my own since I was about 15. I've never been overly romantic. I hate chic flicks. Won't catch me holding hands with a significant other etc. Then I actually fell in love with a man who wants more than anything to be a married man with a family. I guess his dream sort of grew on me. 

I want to be married to a man who can support me until the day I die. In exchange I will care for him until the day he dies. It's in the contract!

Mind you I come from a set of parents who were married a few times. Father was married once before my mother. Mother was married 5 times. Starting at the age of 15! And married to the last one (my father) twice!

Did I tell you we came from a very Catholic home? You wanna have sex? Get married and get out of my house. Those were my grandparents to my mother!

Unless your both going to die on the same day, your not going to be able to do that 
Suicide bomb? Sorry, sorry, sorry, bad Tank, bad Tank, couldn't resist it 

[Medusa]

Well I'm 12 years old than him. So....I said I want to be buried with my cats. And that he CANNOT get another wife!

[Sweetdeath]

Were you being sarcastic about being married to a man who can/will support you, Medusa ?   ???

[Whitney]

Well I'm 12 years old than him. So....I said I want to be buried with my cats. And that he CANNOT get another wife!

That actually just increases the chances that you'll die at the same time...women tend to outlive men.

But, why care if you die and he remarries?  It's not like you believe you'll be waiting for him in the afterlife.  If I die my husband can do whatever her wants.

[Sweetdeath]

^  If I die before my girlfriend, I want her to be happy, not grieve over someone who doesn't physically exist anymore. :<

[Medusa]

Well I'm 12 years old than him. So....I said I want to be buried with my cats. And that he CANNOT get another wife!

That actually just increases the chances that you'll die at the same time...women tend to outlive men.

But, why care if you die and he remarries?  It's not like you believe you'll be waiting for him in the afterlife.  If I die my husband can do whatever her wants.

I'm Latina and extremely jealous and passionate. I'd haunt in from beyond the grave if he took another wife!
This I gest. But seriously he said he couldn't live without me. I told him he could jump in the coffin and get under the wrap with me. 

Were you being sarcastic about being married to a man who can/will support you, Medusa ?   Huh

Sweetdeath, my fiance is a very Arab man from a Muslim world. In Islam marriage makes you whole and is blessed by God. He believes fully in following all laws of Islam. And many haddiths speak on how to treat your wife and what a marriage entails. One being...

If you are able, do not hold back from providing your wife with good clothing and food, and from being generous in spending money on her. This is of course according to the extent of your ability.

He believes he cannot marry a woman until he can offer her a home and stability and love. I've been an independent woman supporting myself for going on 40 years. I'm a-ok with spending my later years being taken care of and taking care of him. In the end we are both extremely old fashioned in what we see as gender roles. He makes the money. I run the show. 

*plus I've been working since I was about 17 non stop. And at one point after an 8 year stint with Hot Topic, I worked 3 jobs at once to support myself through some lean times. I was working as a Blockbuster employee, a rep throwing pallets of lumber up at Home Depot and a home care aid..and a waitress. I've earned my right to be a stay at home wife and mother.

[Gawen]

When my wife and I were married, I was not an atheist. Now it's just cheaper to keep her.  

*laffin*

[Munchkin Goddess]

Well besides the legal, tax, and insurance reasons that has already been stated (so I don't feel the need to repeat); I truly believe that when two people get married, they are taking their relationship to the "next level". Maybe they won't last until "death dues them part", but it's a honest effort to try. Maybe it's me being naive, but I think if two work on their relationship that they will... last.