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Can I be a Happy Atheist?

Started by DiViOUS, November 08, 2007, 07:36:07 PM

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DiViOUS

I haven't been a forum person, but I'm in need of a bit of interaction with like-minded people, and this forum seems to fit the need.  I've changed dramatically in the last 5 months and I can document nearly all of it with things I have read.  I thought I would introduce myself by listing them, but first, a little background:

I was a Mormon for 37 years, but hadn't participated in about 5.  (Mormons would say I was inactive, but I get up and move around every day)  Around June of this year I was on the internet and looking at a religion population chart, adherents.com, and thinking that if Mormons were pretty much a microscopic percentage of the population why were we so sure we knew everything there is to be known about life.

My curiosity to find out what was outside Mormon thinking led me to   PostMormon.org, a support site for people who are thinking of leaving or have left the Mormon religion.  At this site it was easy to find plenty of information that showed that Mormonism is bogus and always has been.

Most of my reading at that time had been on the internet and in magazines.  I hadn't read for learning purposes since college, but since I now had no religion (I resigned from the Mormon church), I decided I needed to start learning about life.

Book #1.  Mormon America, -Richard N. and Joan K. Ostling:  Written by non-Mormons looking to give a clear picture of Mormons to the rest of the world.  This book further convinced me that Mormons are not only strange, but completely ignorant of their own strangeness (or their own history).

Book #2.  No Man Knows My History -Fawn M. Brodie:  Written by a history professor looking to supply a thorough and indept look into the history of the founder of the Mormon Church, Joseph Smith.  After reading I am fully convinced that I have spent 37 years in a bogus religion and that I have no belief system.  I decide I am agnostic.

Book #3.  The Audacity of Hope -Barack Obama:  U.S. Presidential Candidate explaining his views on things.  Since my parents and nearly everyone I know are conservative republicans and are hoping for a Mormon president (Mitt Romney) I thought I would use my new found open mind to explore what would have been taboo most of my life, considering a different point of view.

Book #4.  Leaving the Saints -Martha Beck:  Martha is a former Mormon and daughter of the biggest Mormon appologist ever known.  She recounts her story of discovering the massive problems with the Mormon church that were effecting her life in a very personal way.  This page turner left me ready to quit thinking about my Mormon past all-together and begin finding out what life is really about

Book #5.  They F*** You Up, -Oliver James:  A book about how your parents influence (especially in the first 4 years of life) can and does effect the rest of your life.  I finally begin to understand the full effect that religious practices have had on me such as being raised in a huge family without the means to provide.

Book #6.  The 4-Hour Work-week, -Timothy Ferriss:  A book about how to turn your life into a nearly full time vacation.  I was really trying to stretch my brain on this one and there were some great ideas on how to differently view life, but there wasn't enough that applied to a person with a 15 year marriage and 2 young kids.  It was a nice step away from the heavy stuff, but didn't satisfy what I was needing.

Book #7. The God Delusion, -Richard Dawkins:  Basically this is why you should be an atheist.  Finally a book that completely explains what the hell is going on.  If only I had read this book 20 years ago.  I felt like I was moving from stone-age thinking to future-thinking in a single book.  Should be required reading for all humans.

Book #8.  Train Your Mind Change Your Brain, -Sharon Begley:  Explains through scientific studies how you can change the way your brain handles all sorts of things from depression to sports to childhood disorders.  I finally feel that I can use evolution in my favor by using scientific methods to manage my mind and thoughts.  This field is so new that applications of the findings are difficult to come by.  It seems the buddhists have some advatages here, though.

Book #9.  Letter to a Christian Nation -Sam Harris:  An amazingly concise explanation of everything you need to know about religion (In my opinion).  I suggest giving or lending this book to anyone who loves you enough that they really want to know why you are atheist.

And this is where I am at; Mormon to atheist in 5 months.  I'm not sure where it all will lead.  I'm still processing, but I had to say something to someone and quite frankly nobody I know will listen (except maybe one of you happy atheists).  
:cheers:

SteveS

#1
Hey DiViOUS - thanks for the excellent intro - welcome to the forum!  Congrats on shaking the Mormon thing.  Best of luck to you!

McQ

#2
Welcome to the forum! Also, welcome to reason and the world of reality!  :)

You have a tough "deconversion" process, coming out of the church of latter day saints. Thanks for sharing a bit of your process.

What was it that made you become "inactive" in the first place with the church? It seems like you had already made up your mind to leave prior to doing all of your reading (great list of reads, BTW).

How is your immediate family taking this? You referenced being married and having kids. Is your wife still in the church?

There are a lot of good resources here, and people with a wide variety of thoughts and backgrounds. I think you'll find that you fit right in.

Ask questions, and feel free to jump right in.
Elvis didn't do no drugs!
--Penn Jillette

DiViOUS

#3
Quote from: "McQ"What was it that made you become "inactive" in the first place with the church? It seems like you had already made up your mind to leave prior to doing all of your reading.

My wife and I spent 10 years smacking our heads against church attendance.  It was so boring, but we would go out of guilt.  We could only handle so much, before we would start spending Sunday doing fun things like going to the mountains or a park or something that was much better at helping us to wind down after a workweek.  After awhile of this sort of fun, though we would feel guilty again (amazing how much guilt is involved with church) and try going back to church (a frustrating cycle).

When our first child was born (we waited 8 years to have kids and took all kinds of heat for that decision), we tried church again, but our son would throw a fit even seeing the church building.  If a baby hates it, why should I try to tolerate it?

Quote from: "McQ"How is your immediate family taking this? You referenced being married and having kids. Is your wife still in the church?

I told my family with an email copy of my resignation letter.  They all live in Utah ("happy valley", a bogus name if there ever was one) and believe I am going to hell.  I don't take any of that personally, though.  If most of this nation can be delusional, I can't expect them to not be.

My wife left the Mormon church with me, but is still hoping that religion will make sense somehow (still prays).  She isn't always open to my new understanding of things, but seems to catch a concept here and there.  It gives me hope.

Thanks for the responses.  I really like what I see here.

rlrose328

#4
Welcome Home, DiViOUS!  You are indeed among friends here.  And thanks so much for your list of books that helped you on your way.  There are a few there I haven't read and will definitely be looking for.  I have many of the same questions as McQ so I won't repeat them.  :-)
**Kerri**
The Rogue Atheist Scrapbooker
Come visit me on Facebook!


McQ

#5
Quote from: "DiViOUS"
Quote from: "McQ"What was it that made you become "inactive" in the first place with the church? It seems like you had already made up your mind to leave prior to doing all of your reading.

My wife and I spent 10 years smacking our heads against church attendance.  It was so boring, but we would go out of guilt.  We could only handle so much, before we would start spending Sunday doing fun things like going to the mountains or a park or something that was much better at helping us to wind down after a workweek.  After awhile of this sort of fun, though we would feel guilty again (amazing how much guilt is involved with church) and try going back to church (a frustrating cycle).

When our first child was born (we waited 8 years to have kids and took all kinds of heat for that decision), we tried church again, but our son would throw a fit even seeing the church building.  If a baby hates it, why should I try to tolerate it?

Quote from: "McQ"How is your immediate family taking this? You referenced being married and having kids. Is your wife still in the church?

I told my family with an email copy of my resignation letter.  They all live in Utah ("happy valley", a bogus name if there ever was one) and believe I am going to hell.  I don't take any of that personally, though.  If most of this nation can be delusional, I can't expect them to not be.

My wife left the Mormon church with me, but is still hoping that religion will make sense somehow (still prays).  She isn't always open to my new understanding of things, but seems to catch a concept here and there.  It gives me hope.

Thanks for the responses.  I really like what I see here.

OK, thanks for that additional information. Best advice I can give you is to keep reading, share the books with your wife, and keep the lines of communication wide open.
She will be likely to worry about the kids and the afterlife. Being a mom give you gigantic worry issues!

My wife is still roman catholic, but has been amazingly open to my views since I dropped out. I'm still trying to get her to read more good stuff, but it is slow going.

Be as open as you can be. I know that as worried as I was about telling my wife I didn't believe in god, it worked out better because she knew I was still a good, moral human being without god. Even a better person than when I was all wrapped up in christianity.
Elvis didn't do no drugs!
--Penn Jillette

MommaSquid

#6
Welcome to the forum, DiViOUS.  And thanks for sharing your story.

Whitney

#7
welcome to the forum, DiV.  

There is a South Park episode which involves Mormons and what they believe...you may get a laugh out of it if you can find it.