My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter

[Gawen]

My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
________________________________________
"Excuse me, sir. That's a nice car you have there."

"You think so? Thanks. I've had it for a couple of months now, and I love it."

"Is that the Lexus LS-10?"

"Yes, it came with the Luxury Package, and it drives like a dream."

"I'll bet. Say, that's an interesting bumper sticker."

"Oh . . . thanks."

"'My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter.' You must make a pretty penny as an apprentice carpenter to afford this car."

"Oh, heh, heh. You misunderstand. I'm not a carpenter; I'm an attorney. In this case, the Jewish Carpenter is Jesus Christ."

"Ah, my mistake. But how does that work, exactly?"

"What do you mean? I'm a Christian, and Jesus is my Lord. How does what work?"

"Well, I have a boss--she's not Jewish, though . . . I think she's Irish-Italian--anyway, when she tells me to do something, I have to do it."

"Sure, that's only normal."

"So your boss is the same way? If Jesus tells you to do something, you do it?"

"Absolutely."

"But he died a long time ago. How do you know what he wants you to do?"

"Well, we have his commands in the Bible, of course. But he didn't die--he rose again from the grave, and now he lives in my heart."

"Interesting . . . so if he ordered something in the Bible, you're supposed to obey it? Sort of like written orders from a commanding officer?"

"Exactly."

"What happens if you don't obey the orders?"

"That would be disobedience, a sin against my Lord."

"And that's bad?"

"Of course! That would jeopardize my relationship with my Heavenly Father."

"So if Jesus said 'March!' you would do so or suffer the consequences."

"You bet."

"What if you disagree with the order?"

"Not gonna happen. Our Lord is all-knowing, and he always knows what's best."

"Even though you can't see the value in the command, you're supposed to obey it anyway?"

"That's right. I might pray for the wisdom to see why He wants me to do something, to help shore up my faith. Usually, though, I receive the blessings after I obey, and I end up asking myself why I dragged my feet so long. It's almost spooky how it works like that."

"That sounds fascinating."

"Would you like to join me in church this Sunday?"

"Oh, no. One boss is enough for me. I would like to make one request, however."

"What's that?"

"Give me two percent of your annual income for the rest of your life."

"What? What're you, a panhandler?"

"Oh no, I'm not hassling you for spare change. I have a decent job. But I want two percent of your annual income for the rest of your life."

"Are you out of your mind? I'll do no such thing."

"Well, now I'm confused. You just finished saying that you obey the commands of your Jewish Carpenter boss, and now you're about to disobey one."

"I hardly think so. Jesus may have commanded me to help the poor, but you don't look like you're bad off, and I give to my church for charity works."

"Well, like I said, I don't consider myself poor. But that's not the point. Jesus ordered you to give to me."

"Oh he did no such thing."

"Do you have a Bible?"

"No, I don't have one with--"

"That's okay, I happen to have a pocket New Testament right here. Ah, here we are. Matthew Chapter 5, verse 42: 'Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.'"

"That's ridiculous, that's not what that means."

"I don't understand. Jesus is ordering you to give to anyone who asks. I'm asking for only two percent of your annual income."

"If I gave to every two-bit charity with a hand out, I'd be impoverished."

"I would say so. But are you questioning your orders from your boss?"

"No, of course not."

"It sounds like you are. You said you would never disagree with the order because your boss doesn't give bad ones, you said that if you disobey the order you'd be committing a sin, and you said that you sometimes feel better about obeying the order afterwards. So what's the problem?"

"You're the problem, that's what! I only give to those in true need."

"But the order wasn't, 'Give to those in need.' It was, 'Give to those who ask.' It won't be hard. A successful attorney like you probably makes more than six figures. A few thousand dollars a year won't bankrupt you. Perhaps you could trade in your Lexus for a Honda to make up the difference."

"Look, you. Christianity is a lot more than just following orders. It's about a relationship--that's what's important."

"But your bumper sticker says that the Jewish Carpenter is your boss, not your friend. Aren't you disobeying a direct order from your boss?"

"That's not what that means, and you know it."

"It sure sounds like it to me. Is this a bad order, or is it a good order that you are going to disobey?"

"I don't suppose you give to everyone who asks."

"Of course not, that would be silly. I'm sure that would leave me homeless in no time. But then my boss hasn't ordered me to do that. If she did, I would resign and find a new boss. What's your excuse?"

"This conversation is ridiculous."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, here's my e-mail address that's linked to my Paypal account. You can have your bank make a monthly transfer and receive the blessings of your obedience, just like you said . . . or you could find a new boss and start living your life like a rational adult."

This was on my puter for over a year now and I can't remember where I found it. Hope you enjoyed it.

[AnimatedDirt]

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.  If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let hiim have your cloak as well.  I f someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

Yup...if you force it out of me, I will pay it.  If you sue me, take it.  I'll give you, if you ask and if I have it to give.  Of course you realize this is in context of an evil person.  Come force it.

HAHA...how convenient it is when words are twisted...and we Christians are the only ones that "interpret" to our liking.  Heh.

Good one.

[xSilverPhinx]

Good joke LOL

[Gawen]

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.  If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let hiim have your cloak as well.  I f someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

Yup...if you force it out of me, I will pay it.  If you sue me, take it.  I'll give you, if you ask and if I have it to give.  Of course you realize this is in context of an evil person.  Come force it.

HAHA...how convenient it is when words are twisted...and we Christians are the only ones that "interpret" to our liking.  Heh.

Good one.

Well, you have to break down the verses you just quoted.
Matthew 5:38-39- Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39- But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Notice this is a complete sentence...not two separate sentences. The unresisting of evil here stops and then the next sentence is:
40: And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.  Notice that this has nothing to do with evil men.
41:And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. I fail to see an evil significance in this.
42: Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Where is the evil here, AD. And you say I twist words???

[AnimatedDirt]

Well, you have to break down the verses you just quoted.
Matthew 5:38-39- Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39- But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Notice this is a complete sentence...not two separate sentences. The unresisting of evil here stops and then the next sentence is:
40: And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.  Notice that this has nothing to do with evil men.
41:And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. I fail to see an evil significance in this.
42: Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Where is the evil here, AD. And you say I twist words???

1. If that is your own original story, then I can see how you might think I said YOU were twisting words.  Never meant you personally.  Apologies to you.

2. Compel  It's not necessarily "evil", but neither is it in this context something the person wanted to do vs. forced as it is interpreted in the NIV.

3. Sue for your coat?  Literally, this means someone is suing you for something of trivial significance just to push buttons or get back at you.  Figuratively this means the person is suing you for EVERYTHING he can get and not just to make his claim/loss complete and fair.  This is not "evil"?

4. If it is not "evil" to ask for and borrow money, why do we tend to avoid beggars and those family members that do so?  The verse (42) seems to even insinuate this as it says, "...do not turn away from..."  This is not to say it is evil to do so, but rather the perception of those that do by us who might think them unworthy of "my hard-earned money".  Certainly there are people that need and people that freely give to the needy.  Please don't misunderstand.   The text "starts" off speaking about evil people and continues in the next verses (Matt. 5:43, 44) to love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you.

So is what you're saying that the one verse (42) is different while surrounded by evil, bullies, the unfair, the slave masters, enemies and those that persecute?

[OldGit]

In discussing this, one needs to be aware that the Greek MS had no word-breaks or sentence-breaks and no punctuation of any kind.

We now read Εν αρχη ην ο λογος, και ο λογος ... - in the beginning was the word, and the word... - from what was written ENARCHHNOLOGOCKAIOLOGOC.

One cannot therefore base arguments on the division into sentences, let alone verses.  There are not a few places where even the division into individual words is debatable.

I hope you were all listening.  OK, carry on.  

[Tank]

^^^ bloody hell no wonder there are translation issues!

[OldGit]

Yup.  It gets worse.  Slap bang in the middle of the lord's prayer is the word ἐπιούσιον, epiousion, which we translate by daily (bread) but is in fact found in no other document.  You can translate the halves ἐπι and ούσιον and get supersubstantial.  The early Latin translations did that with (panem) supersubstantialem, which is as clear as mud.  It clearly represents some word that jebus spoke in Aramaic.  So next time you say the lord's prayer, Christians, be aware that you have no idea what you're actually asking for.  (There are one or two other problems in the l.p., as well.)

People have been burned over stuff like this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epiousios

For Christians, this is not just a quibble over an isolated phrase. Christians believe that the Lord's Prayer was instituted by Jesus for the use of his disciples, so they want to be as faithful as they can be to the original words of Jesus. Beyond that, subtle differences among various translations of this prayer become larger differences when the various translations are used to generate theology.

[AnimatedDirt]

In discussing this, one needs to be aware that the Greek MS had no word-breaks or sentence-breaks and no punctuation of any kind.

We now read Εν αρχη ην ο λογος, και ο λογος ... - in the beginning was the word, and the word... - from what was written ENARCHHNOLOGOCKAIOLOGOC.

One cannot therefore base arguments on the division into sentences, let alone verses.  There are not a few places where even the division into individual words is debatable.

I hope you were all listening.  OK, carry on.  

I was going to mention this as my #5...but I couldn't have done it as well as you.  My #5 would have read, "Plus, there is no punctuation in the original text." with a tongue smiley and a "meh"  Wouldn't have gone over well. 

[Gawen]

In discussing this, one needs to be aware that the Greek MS had no word-breaks or sentence-breaks and no punctuation of any kind.

We now read Εν αρχη ην ο λογος, και ο λογος ... - in the beginning was the word, and the word... - from what was written ENARCHHNOLOGOCKAIOLOGOC.

One cannot therefore base arguments on the division into sentences, let alone verses.  There are not a few places where even the division into individual words is debatable.

I hope you were all listening.  OK, carry on.  

Yes...listening and knew that. But there is puncutation now. It makes it difficult to know which to go off on.

At last!! I'm glad at least one person here understand Greek!!!

I've tried to at least learn Koine Greek....but its all....Greek to me...*chucklin*