Author Topic: A friend in need . . .  (Read 294 times)

Dave

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A friend in need . . .
« on: August 03, 2017, 12:03:39 PM »
If I offer a friend a lift in ''urgent'' situations I mean at any time, day or night, regardless of what plans I have (unless they are also urgent or totally unbreakable). As you can imagine I make such sweeping offers carefully, only to those I know will not abuse them.

It is nice when others offer something similar, there are times when I need to get home from the hospital, for example, in the winter, after an urgent admission, when I do not have my car with me or are disallowed from driving for 24 hours or something. Sometims I am only allowed to leave in the company of another person, say after a sedative etc.

So, one of my friends made a similar offer to me after I gave her a lift, she knows my medical situation.

Sometime in September I am going to have my eye op. I can only be released into the custody of someone who picks me up. Getting a ''social'' bed on a ward is usually next to impossible. A private bed costs about 250 quid for a night, excluding breakfast. If one is available. The hopsital is about 12 miles away.

So, I ask my friend if she can ''stand by'' in case I absolutely need the pick-up. Don't know the time or date yet.

''Well, if it does not clash with my art club or the Womans' Institute meeting, you know how busy I am . . .'' she is also a bit of an author and I have come to her rescue, at very short notice, several times to teach her how to do something or fix routine computer problems etc.

Yeah ,OK.Club meets come before friends who are in need . . . Yeah, OK.

Not the first time. Back in 2008, after being barred from driving due to my cardiac immplant shocking me 8 times - they have to make sure any new therapy is working - I gave my old car to a neighbour. Her car, essential, had seriously failed its annual test. She had a couple of young kids to drag up. The car was not worh more than two or three hunded and I intended to get a new one when the bar was finished.

She was very, very happy - told me that she would give me lifts whenever I needed one. Um, that never happened, she always had an excuse not to give me a lift. Mostly I had to pay for taxis (bus service to the hospital runs only once an hour from about 0930 to 1630 - pretty useless, does not even cover visiting hours or early/late clinics. Most scans I have had have been at 0800 or 1900, when the doctors are not making full use of the gear. Taxi time again!

So, one wonders who to call friends. How to find reliable ones who will do as they promise. It is not in my nature to ''retaliate'' by being ''busy'' when they call for help - not sure if I could even harden myself to do so unless my need was definitely greater than theirs, could not be missed or put off for any reason. Certainly friends come before standard club meets in my scale of values.

Feeling a bit miserable, not depressed, just a bit fed up with people (but not as badly as our No One!)

I suppose, since there is no ''team spirit'' in my bit of my voluntary job I am also feeling a bit lonely. Add to that the message I left three days ago on the phone of the guy, supposedly, running the ''Men in Sheds'' group has not been responded to and I have yet to hear from the library four days after putting my application through the door . . .

 :shrug:



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No one

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2017, 12:11:30 PM »
Friendship : A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.




[AB]

jumbojak

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2017, 02:13:27 PM »
I have exactly one real, true friend. We've been friends since I saved him from Cindy the Booger Girl when I was in kindergarten and he was in first grade for the first time. If he needs something I have or needs my help I'm there. The reverse is also true.

We also know that if one of us can't do some thing for the other that it's a serious situation getting in the way. No explanations are needed because both of us know it isn't some silly social gathering that we'd rather be at. Friends like that are once in a lifetime finds. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to mine.
 

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Magdalena

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2017, 08:47:40 PM »
...
So, one wonders who to call friends. How to find reliable ones who will do as they promise. It is not in my nature to ''retaliate'' by being ''busy'' when they call for help - not sure if I could even harden myself to do so unless my need was definitely greater than theirs, could not be missed or put off for any reason. Certainly friends come before standard club meets in my scale of values.

Feeling a bit miserable, not depressed, just a bit fed up with people (but not as badly as our No One!)

...
My dear, Gloucester, I know what you mean.  :therethere:

I'm like you, I've done some favors to people that I shouldn't have done favors to, but I think it's better to feel bad about having been too kind to someone who probably didn't deserve your kindness, but you didn't realized it until much later  >:(,  than to feel bad for having done something mean to someone who has always been kind to you.  :sad sigh:
Does this make sense?  :eyebrow:

Don't lose "faith" in humanity the way No one has. There's a reason you still belong to the Humanist Forum;)

Maybe you caught your friend in a bad situation, maybe you asked for the favor too far ahead, maybe you can try again when you have the exact time and date, and maybe she'll be glad to help you.  :hug:


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xSilverPhinx

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2017, 06:32:12 AM »
Maybe you caught your friend in a bad situation, maybe you asked for the favor too far ahead, maybe you can try again when you have the exact time and date, and maybe she'll be glad to help you.  :hug:

I agree. Maybe you asked her at a bad time. When you have more details try again and if she says 'no' or comes up with a half-assed excuse then curse her to hell and think twice before doing her any further favours.

;)
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Dave

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2017, 07:43:44 AM »
Maybe you caught your friend in a bad situation, maybe you asked for the favor too far ahead, maybe you can try again when you have the exact time and date, and maybe she'll be glad to help you.  :hug:

I agree. Maybe you asked her at a bad time. When you have more details try again and if she says 'no' or comes up with a half-assed excuse then curse her to hell and think twice before doing her any further favours.

;)

Well, she had repeated the offer more than once, "Anytime..." After my best friend moved, and she knew how much I missed her and our weekly lunch dates, she also offered to be my "lunch buddy" once a month or do. That was in November last year. We have talked since, I have fixed her computer since, no lunches yet. She is always telling me how busy her clubs and groups keep her.

Not going to bother, if the hospital will not let me get a taxi home they will have to find me a bed or a cumfy chair. When it comes to the crunch you have only yourself to rely on, apart from with my old caving and climbing buddies I have learned that lesson very well all my life. Just that, as you get older and your condition slowly worsens and your few peer acquaintances die off and, despite a life-time of knowledge and skill it seems more diffucult to convince people you are still of value, have something to offer  . . .
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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2017, 08:47:46 AM »
Ah, someone who possibly doesn't mean what she says, I can't stand those people. Don't ever know if they can really be counted on.

I don't know if you're seeking poetic justice or not, but those people eventually get older as well and often find themselves in the same position when they do. Not that karma is real but in some cases what goes around really does come around.
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Dave

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2017, 09:13:52 AM »
Ah, someone who possibly doesn't mean what she says, I can't stand those people. Don't ever know if they can really be counted on.

I don't know if you're seeking poetic justice or not, but those people eventually get older as well and often find themselves in the same position when they do. Not that karma is real but in some cases what goes around really does come around.

I try to avoid retaliation, but instead of popping over straight away to fix her computer it might just take me a couple of days to find a free slot in future . . .

Pity, she is a talented lady with both the brush and the pen (OK, keyboard) and I enjoyed talking with her. Oh, I also proof-read and offered editorial comment on her book (as well as helping her with the historical research.) Perhaps it is because I found some factual errors, several repeats, misspellings and the usual editorial stuff she scrapped that edition and started again. Has not asked me to edit-on-the-fly this time. Not prepared to do the job on the "finished" item, that would take solid weeks at the rate I can work at a laptop without aching. Bit at a time - OK.
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No one

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2017, 11:15:38 AM »
mags:
Don't lose "faith" in humanity the way No one has.

One would have to have this "faith" in order to lose it, wouldn't they?

Dave

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2017, 11:41:38 AM »
mags:
Don't lose "faith" in humanity the way No one has.

One would have to have this "faith" in order to lose it, wouldn't they?

True, true, I sit corrected - I made a similar comment elsewhere!

As my old boss was want to ssy, "Life's a bitch, and then you die."
« Last Edit: August 04, 2017, 12:30:56 PM by Gloucester »
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Magdalena

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2017, 11:48:50 AM »
mags:
Don't lose "faith" in humanity the way No one has.

One would have to have this "faith" in order to lose it, wouldn't they?
No one, can I sit next to you right now?
I don't have too much faith in humanity at this moment.
Please don't ask why.


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"Color me fascinated..." ~Asmodean, The Gray God.

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2017, 02:21:24 PM »
mags:
Don't lose "faith" in humanity the way No one has.

One would have to have this "faith" in order to lose it, wouldn't they?
No one, can I sit next to you right now?
I don't have too much faith in humanity at this moment.
Please don't ask why.


You can sit next to me,...butt I'll probably play with your hair, and look through your purse for those plantains you hide under your mattress  8)
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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2017, 03:01:46 PM »
mags:
Don't lose "faith" in humanity the way No one has.

One would have to have this "faith" in order to lose it, wouldn't they?
No one, can I sit next to you right now?
I don't have too much faith in humanity at this moment.
Please don't ask why.


You can sit next to me,...butt I'll probably play with your hair, and look through your purse for those plantains you hide under your mattress  8)
Sit next to No one and hate the universe,
or sit next to Father Bruno and talk about platanos...


Oooooooh!


“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

"Color me fascinated..." ~Asmodean, The Gray God.

No one

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2017, 04:43:00 PM »

Arturo

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Re: A friend in need . . .
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2017, 08:47:00 PM »
Is she holding a small alien?
But, uh...well there it is.
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