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Don't Fuck with the Jesus!

Started by Firebird, June 11, 2016, 12:46:46 AM

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Firebird

That's my proposed tagline for a most anticipated sequel. Yup, Passion of the Christ 2 is coming out!

"Great, replace one book about an abusive, needy asshole with another." - Will (moderator) on replacing hotel Bibles with "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Recusant

I like your tagline. Much better than the real one we'll never see: "Money in the bank!"
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Tank

Well let's face it the demise of Jesus was a game of two half's, death then un-death. The zombie jew was a money spinner from day 3.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Asmodean

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 11, 2016, 02:41:04 AM
Bleh, another zombie movie?
If only there were HORDES of Jesuses... Jesi? In any case, hordes of them intent on eating people's brains... Oh wait, that's what those bitten by a Jesus do... Nevermind.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Recusant

Quote from: Asmodean on June 11, 2016, 11:01:45 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 11, 2016, 02:41:04 AM
Bleh, another zombie movie?
If only there were HORDES of Jesuses... Jesi? In any case, hordes of them intent on eating people's brains... Oh wait, that's what those bitten by a Jesus do... Nevermind.

In the Bible it says there were a number of holy zombies that appeared in Jerusalem after the supposed death and resurrection of Jesus. See Matthew 27:52-53.

Quote51 And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;

52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

54 Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God.

I don't think they put that in the first movie, but maybe they could work it into this one.
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


OldGit

They could do some product placement for DIY tools in the crucifixion scene.

xSilverPhinx

#7
Quote from: Recusant on June 11, 2016, 02:30:03 PM
Quote51 And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;

52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

54 Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God.

For they were infected with the god virus; and their rotted eyes did glaze over and peels of skin hang from their faces. The bodies of the undead spake in cacophonous manner, for it was not in unison and the difficulty to mouth the words was much, bidding they be fed brains.

- Brainz! Brainz! Ainz! Ainez! Aimen! Amen! Amen! Amen! they did chant, arms outstretched before them.

And so they flooded the walls of Jerusalem, leaving the sickly unharmed in their wake, for they were sick and dying, and not of use to the God Virus.

From the masses came a saviour, his visage resembling that of Brad Pitt; and the rest is history. 



   
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Icarus

^ Salude to that post xSP. That was a goodie.  ;D

xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Pasta Chick


Kekerusey

OK ... so yeah I saw this. Who else did?

My concluding review comment was, "4/10, Overall fairly disappointing."

Keke
J C Rocks (An Aspiring Author's Journey)
The Abyssal Void War Book #1: Stars, Hide Your Fires


xSilverPhinx

Haven't seen it and most probably won't.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey