The Afterlife Salad Bar - Step Up and Choose

[Magdalena]

MadBomr101, Valhalla is not on the menu. Why isn't Valhalla on the menu?

My afterlife purchasing manager must have overlooked it when placing the order.  I apologize for the oversight and would like to offer you an eternal life of equal or lesser value as compensation.

I would like that, thank you.

[Magdalena]

Can I substitute an item...like...a pussy for something else?

Hmmm.  Just what kind of salad are we talking about here?

Islam Afterlife poontang.

[Davin]

Eternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.

I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.

[Crow]

Eternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.

I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.

I agree with Davin. They just aren't really all that appealing. In fact they sound downright awful.

At least I like the Buddhist analogy of death being like a ray of light that never lands. But the whole rebirth thing isn't exactly straight forward as there are many that believe that the rebirth of conciousness isn't from life to life but the birth and death of conciousness within a persons lifetime, from the observation that conciousness isn't a continual but rather little bursts of conciousness that come and go.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Eternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.

I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.

If you could choose to live in good health as long as you wanted to, how long do you think that would be?

[Davin]

Eternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.

I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.

If you could choose to live in good health as long as you wanted to, how long do you think that would be?

Until the boredom becomes overwhelming. I think I'd like to live for a thousand years, as long as I could manage not getting too bored. Right now I am often bored, but it's never been overwhelming. There are plenty of things to do and think about, but even the process of going into a new thing ends up getting boring. Right now I am attempting to stave off boredom by mixing it up between new things, mastering current things, and trying to find new ways to use the things I already know. If I live for too long, eventually the moments of boredom will continue increase until there is nothing but.

[xSilverPhinx]

I'm looking for the meat. Where's the beef? 

Hey!  What you see is what we got! 

Hmm. 

Well, I want beef too much to go for Hinduism. What about alcohol? Do you have any wine on offer?

I believe what you're looking for is Valhalla.

Yes, Valhalla looks like fun.

Can my valkyries all look like Chris Hemsworth clones? 



Preferably not dressed as Thor...

[Sandra Craft]

Can my valkyries all look like Chris Hemsworth clones? 

Of course, it's Valhalla!

For my own part, I've thought it would be interesting to be disembodied consciousness -- not affected by any physical laws, able to zip here and there at will to any time and place in the universe.  Maybe haunt a few people as well, but I'd also be happy just observing.

[Recusant]

There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing. If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.

[xSilverPhinx]

There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing. If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.

Killjoy. 

[Sandra Craft]

There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing. If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.

Well, yes, but to be fair to the Vikings, that was part of their idea of fun.

[Crow]

There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing. If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.

Well, yes, but to be fair to the Vikings, that was part of their idea of fun.

And no one is really getting hurt so it would be like playing a very visceral computer game.

[MadBomr101]

Until the boredom becomes overwhelming. I think I'd like to live for a thousand years, as long as I could manage not getting too bored. Right now I am often bored, but it's never been overwhelming. There are plenty of things to do and think about, but even the process of going into a new thing ends up getting boring. Right now I am attempting to stave off boredom by mixing it up between new things, mastering current things, and trying to find new ways to use the things I already know. If I live for too long, eventually the moments of boredom will continue increase until there is nothing but.

This.

Let's don't forget that the only thing promised by the Xian afterlife - the worst one of them all - is to spend eternity worshiping god.  That's all.  Just worshiping a deity so insecure and needy for constant attention that he makes Miley Cyrus look humble by comparison.  Xians are so eager for this completely pointless eternity that they spend their REAL lives metaphorically licking the nutsack of a deity that can't think of anything more to offer with eternity than endless praise unto himself. What a douche.

I'd be as out of place in Heaven as a Tea-Party Republican at a coke fueled orgy; a concept for an afterlife I could get into...at least for thirty or thirty-five years.

Beyond that, even that would become mindnumbing. 

[xSilverPhinx]

Eternal life just seems unfathomably boring, and yes, I agree that the Christian variety (and Islamic, to be fair) are the worst of the lot. It's like being made to eat broccoli for an infinity, you may like it at first but eventually you just can't take it anymore. 

Unless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.

I think I'd still go with the Valhalla salad, but without the associated topping of PTSD. No pathological memories, please. 

   

[MadBomr101]

Preferably not dressed as Thor...

PFFT!  Take away his looks, charm, wealth and fame and what have you got?

Me.