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Miscellaneous / Re: [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Asmodean on Today at 11:11:22 AM »
The Facebook-link? The post appears public, and the link is trimmed down to the post number and works for me, so... *scratch* We needs a fifteen year old what knows how Facebook functions.
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Miscellaneous / Re: [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Tanksinatra on Today at 10:51:38 AM »
Linky not worky.
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Miscellaneous / [Based Opinions] Let kids be kids
« Last post by Asmodean on Today at 09:56:44 AM »
The opinions in this series of essays may be controversial and contain provocative language and general insensitivity... Also, they are likely to be on the rambly side. Note that if you are so inclined, you CAN change my mind. All it takes, is demonstrating that my view is internally inconsistent and/or fallacious and/or factually incorrect.

This post is inspired by a Facebook discussion here


For some time now, I've seen campaigning from politicians, various charitable organizations and individuals alike with the stated end goal of ending bullying at school. Well... I have a few problems with that, and the campaigners can rarely be arsed to address them. Usually, they just call me an asshole and drop the mic, as if being an asshole is somehow enough to invalidate the argument. (Read up on Fritz Zwicky if you are among those. Then, I may give you another name to consider)

The arguments for "zero tolerance" stances on bullying can usually be deconstructed to an emotional appeal; "but won't somebody think of the poor victim," they cry. They cry, and the public listens. After all, who among us has not been on the receiving end of some unpleasantness by the other kids in our wee years? Well... What about the rest of us then, I ask?

Let's get to my anecdote then. I look back at growing up from the arrogant heights of someone who "fought and won," if by my own standards - in this case, the only standards which truly matter. Self-confidence, self-worth, pride in my own achievements... I did not get any of those from being one of "everybody's a winner," or from hearing how darling and special I was. I was told that on occasion, but if I chose to believe it, or act on it as though it was true, and then did not put the work into actually making it so, or maintaining my unique and special superiority over the mediocrity of the gray masses, life usually took little time in kicking me squarely in the nuts, then taking a hammer to my illusions.

I think most of us have been there - some more often than others. I also think that for most of us, those experiences were a valuable part of growing up. When your childhood pet dies, it can be devastating, but you get over it and maybe learn something in the process - to deal with grief and loss. To not take those things in your life, which have "always" been there for granted. That what you have today may well be gone tomorrow. Bad things happen. Sometimes, bad things persist through no fault of your own. It's old news to most adults, but the kids have to actually learn it at some point in order for it to become "old news," which I think this example goes a long way in demonstrating.

Me, I'm a nerd, with all the social niceties that entails when you are a young nerd. For instance, I suck at sports. Never been particularly interested in most of them - never been particularly good at any. I did get my share of "harassment" over that fact, but it's partly what drove me to focus on my intellectual pursuits. That's not the only valid way out of it - I could have hit the gym, or joined a band, but that was a way that worked for me. I couldn't hit that goal if I stood in it, you keep saying? Well, I know that I can do mathematics that would make your hair fall out from just seeing. You may be the alpha dog now, but I am playing the long game.

My point here is not necessarily "find your talents and prove them wrong," as some people just are pretty much talentless, and actively trying to "prove them wrong" may just paint an even bigger target on your back - the abovementioned "alpha dogs" don't respond kindly to challenges. Rather, the point is that... I did not come to my well-adjusted view on my interactions with others through being protected from bruised feelings or eye sockets, or being made to fit in, or being forced to be friendly with people I didn't want anything to do with outside "work setting," or any of that nonsense. It was one fight after another, and on rare occasion those fights involved actual punches being thrown. Some I won, many I lost. I got over it - wins and losses alike. I wish no ill upon any-one who bullied me as a kid.

Not that I am not saying that driving someone to the point of suicide - or homicide, as is "trendy" in certain parts of the world, is acceptable. Obviously, it is not. Still, let the kids be kids. If you as a parent or a teacher or a friend se an actual, real problem... Help the kid in question. That individual kid. Don't try using the law to hinder the bulk of the bell curve from growing up to be regular, well-adjusted people.

Scope: "normal" hierarchy-building interactions among kids. Things like sustained physical violence, or singling-out and subjecting to abuse over time of a person based on characteristics they cannot control are not something I find readily acceptable. Still, I think this is where the parents, the school... The "within-range" adults should step in and dole out some threats, wisdom and learning, but I'll save blaming the parents for later.
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: What are you Eating right now?
« Last post by xSilverPhinx on Today at 12:29:34 AM »
The only good grape is a liquid grape, added to more liquid grapes. Fact.
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: What are you Eating right now?
« Last post by Icarus on Today at 12:24:44 AM »
Well alright you two. No raisins.  But you should have some  reverence for those poor dehydrated  grapes.  Remember that grapes are a biblical fruit and if you dis them, Jesus might smite you.

Raisins are a necessary ingredient for oatmeal cookies.  Who doesn't like oatmeal cookies? Pimekin (sp) anyone?

  :shrug:
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: What's on your mind today?
« Last post by xSilverPhinx on December 10, 2018, 11:35:31 PM »
Feeling sad today over Dave's death. He had been suffering for weeks and I really hope he didn't suffer even more as he passed away. 
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: Should we talk about the weather?
« Last post by Sandra Craft on December 10, 2018, 11:00:00 PM »
It's still too cold for my pampered, Californian blood, more rain may or may not be coming, and maintenance is halfway thru fixing the leak in my bedroom.  I think they're got the roof patched up but there's now a big hole in my ceiling and I've been told not to use that room tonight (no problem).  They promise to finish fixing it tomorrow.
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Media / Re: Good Films.
« Last post by Tanksinatra on December 10, 2018, 12:30:43 PM »
Brad pit in 'Allied'. WWII espionage drama. Good plot, good script, good acting.

Huge plot spoilers below! You have been warned!

I would have had Marianne spot that Max was acting odd and not taken the 'Blue Ink' bait. It is also the case that Marion Cotillard who plays Marianne is a musician and could have played the piano (if you haven't watched the film why are you reading this?). Also once Marianne had been 'outed' she would have been given the opportunity to become a double agent (as was often the case in real life). Max could have been posted elsewhere to keep Marianne and Anne safe. Good film but could have been a little better IMHO.
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Media / Re: Upcoming movies that have you psyched!
« Last post by Tanksinatra on December 10, 2018, 12:22:30 PM »
Looks good.
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Laid Back Lounge / Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Last post by Tanksinatra on December 10, 2018, 12:20:30 PM »
Snow is turning to ice. I can deal with snow but don't like ice one bit.

Slippery stuff ice, you just can't trust it!
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