Why should people be afraid to come out about their beliefs?

[Kevin]

I have been thinking today, that I am actually kind of afraid to tell people my beliefs... Like here is what got me thinking about it:

I was reading on Wikipedia about the Columbine shooting, and when I was done, it got me thinking: I definitely could kill someone. I wouldn't feel much remorse for it, depending on the circumstances, but I can definitely kill someone. Then I was thinking: If the topic came up for some reason, I would probably be afraid to say that I could and I believe killing is right when it is done for the right reasons ("Kill one save a thousand" type reasons). Then I was thinking, I don't even like telling people my religious beliefs! If the conversation has something to do with religion, and I see the chance I'll say, but that's it... I am afraid of what people would say about it, and I don't see why I should be..

That's what I don't like about our society. Some things are so main stream, people are afraid to come out about their beliefs, or sexuality, etc. I should not be afraid to tell people that I don't believe in God, or I believe killing is ok [under the right circumstances], or what I believe that they believe in a mystical fairy tale. But I have been waiting for a teacher to tell me or something I need to pray for something, and me say I don't pray and hopefully she asks why, because I want to get into something, but that hasn't happened yet   )

But yeah. I just really don't see what's wrong with our society... With the U.S.'s freedom's, we sure don't let some people know that we use them...

[Miss Anthrope]

I understand exactly what you're saying. I guess the way I would summarize an explanation is that along with our freedom of speech, we have to accept some
consequences. We are free to express our beliefs, but other people have their freedom to judge us and disagree. So it comes down to how confident a person is, and ideally a person should not be afraid to be judged. For instance, as a cartoonist and fan of the female form, I like certain "furry" art. Males are very "visual", and even a crude representation of the female form can turn on the average guy, so, even though I don't have a sexual appreciation of female furry art, it wouldn't really be unusual if I did (unless I preferred them to real women, sexually, in which case it could be indicative of an underlying psychological 'problem'). I used to be very "ashamed" (not personally, but in the sense that I tried to hide my appreciation). Now I don't, becasue as I get older I get less concerned with what people think about my tastes.

So, i agree that, ideally, you shouldn't be judged for your beliefs and tastes, but it's an inevitable reality that human nature is not naturally accepting of views which are not the norm. Personally, I think the "norm" is kind of freaky. 90% of guys think I'm crazy because the anus is off limits to me sexually, or becasue tattoos on a girl don't "turn me on"; it makes less sense when many of those same guys will judge a gay guy, and its funny when someone can't think of what to say when I ask "What really turns you on, the girl or the tattoo on her backside."

[VanReal]

I don't think people should be afraid to share their feelings or beliefs but I think it's also important to understand that not all of what you think about needs to be shared.  If you were to tell someone "I could kill someone and wouldn't feel much remorse" that is actually a little scary.  Sometimes when you think about things who can be a lot more honest with yourself than you really need to be with other people, particularly people who have a relationship with.  As far as your beliefs, or should I say disbeliefs about God it sounds like you are lucky in that the topic doesn't really come up.  I would love for it not to come up as often as it does for me.  I tire of hearing people talk about it, particularly since I have already been quite honest about my thoughts.  The good news is they don't talk to me about it any more.

[gwyn428]

I think that the more important thing would be why should people be afraid to come out about their beliefs at the right place, at the right time, to the right person(s)?.

My gender identity is that of an androgyne, which means that I know myself to be a mixture of male and female. If I am at a place where the binary gender system is highly emphasized and the people are into conservativism and traditional values, then I do not see the need to inform anyone that my identity does not correspond to this formula: male gender > male sex > heterosexual. On the other hand, if I am at a place that is relaxed and liberal and the people themselves are progressive and open minded, then I would feel comfortable informing someone that my identity corresponds to this formula: male & female gender > male sex > gynosexual.

[Miss Anthrope]

quote="VanReal"]I don't think people should be afraid to share their feelings or beliefs but I think it's also important to understand that not all of what you think about needs to be shared.  If you were to tell someone "I could kill someone and wouldn't feel much remorse" that is actually a little scary.  Sometimes when you think about things who can be a lot more honest with yourself than you really need to be with other people, particularly people who have a relationship with.  As far as your beliefs, or should I say disbeliefs about God it sounds like you are lucky in that the topic doesn't really come up.  I would love for it not to come up as often as it does for me.  I tire of hearing people talk about it, particularly since I have already been quite honest about my thoughts.  The good news is they don't talk to me about it any more.[/quote]

I agree, very good point about not needing to share everything. I disagree, in part, though, with how you interpreted the part about what he said about killing, only because he also said "depending on the circumstances." If some lunatic broke into my home with a chainsaw, I don't think I would really feel significant remorse if I killed the guy in self defense. Which isn't to say I wouldn't harbor some negative feelings and truama after such an event, but I think if someone judged me for expressing no remorse for my actions it would unfair. Similarly, I think I could get over a mercy killing without too much remorse, or at least less than if I chose to let someone suffer becasue of some misplaced importance on simply "living".

Also, Gwyn, same here, although it seems that as I get older I enjoy ruffling conservative feathers a little more. As anyone who's seen my avatar of me as the Joker or followed my writings here so far can probably tell, I was very taken with the practically applicable , somewhat admirable elements of the Joker's Joker's "philosophy": be true to thyself. he derived such enjoyment from being what he is, even from the CONSEQUENCEs of his actions, and I thought, "God, that's how to live." (I'm not referring to actually emulating his violent behavior, so no reason to be scared, VanReal

[VanReal]

I agree, very good point about not needing to share everything. I disagree, in part, though, with how you interpreted the part about what he said about killing, only because he also said "depending on the circumstances." If some lunatic broke into my home with a chainsaw, I don't think I would really feel significant remorse if I killed the guy in self defense. Which isn't to say I wouldn't harbor some negative feelings and truama after such an event, but I think if someone judged me for expressing no remorse for my actions it would unfair. Similarly, I think I could get over a mercy killing without too much remorse, or at least less than if I chose to let someone suffer becasue of some misplaced importance on simply "living".

Also, Gwyn, same here, although it seems that as I get older I enjoy ruffling conservative feathers a little more. As anyone who's seen my avatar of me as the Joker or followed my writings here so far can probably tell, I was very taken with the practically applicable , somewhat admirable elements of the Joker's Joker's "philosophy": be true to thyself. he derived such enjoyment from being what he is, even from the CONSEQUENCEs of his actions, and I thought, "God, that's how to live." (I'm not referring to actually emulating his violent behavior, so no reason to be scared, VanReal

Totally understand, the clarification of "under certain circumstances" came later in the original post.  At first there was no elaboration, and often when we speak our thoughts and people are caught off guard they really stop listening to any clarification of what we originally intended.  If you are going to say what you think you have to be very careful with the first statement, people have short attention spans and their minds will start working while you are still trying to explain, none of the explanation is really heard and you are left with someone thinking you are a budding sociopath, hehe.

[Whitney]

I have noticed that I have no issues telling anyone that I am non-religious.  I know they know that means that I don't go to church and don't practice any standard religion.  No one reacts badly to my saying non-religious at most they'll ask why.  How I explain why depends on the person, I try to respond in a manner that I think they can listen to instead of tuning out due to extreme disagreement.  For instance, if the person is very religious I start out by talking about being tired of how so many religious people are hypocritical.  By the time I get around to saying anything that offends them they have agreed with at least half of my reasoning.  With everyone else I just say that my reaasons are quite complex but that the main reason is there simply is no evidence that any one religion has figured things out.  If you get this far with someone; you can say 'atheist' pretty easily without them freaking out.

However, I do find it difficult to not be afraid to just come out and say atheist if I am in a situation where it is appropriate to be discussing religious views (I would never just walk up to someone at work or family gatherings and make a point to tell them I am a Christian back when I was one, why would I do it now that I am an atheist?)  In this part of the country a lot of, otherwise fairly reasonable, believers associate atheism with satanism/evil (we've come across a few of them on this forum) I don't know if this is something they picked up from church (I don't remember the minister making this connection) or if it is just a Southern misguided view based on lies circulated by evangelicals.

I would use the term freethinker, but a lot of people don't know what that means and could be offended if you can't explain what it means before they jump to the conclusion thay you are implying their mind is not free (which might be your view anyway).  Nonetheless, you don't want to offend somene just by stating your views.  I understand it is the other person's problem if they can't accept that other people have differing viewpoints.  However, if I can control the conversation in such a way that I can speak freely without the other person getting offended, I prefer to do so.  I think the more we can have an open dialogue with theists the faster they will accept atheists/freethinkers as just another approach to viewing the world rather than something to fear due to false perceptions.

I use to be afraid that the people I work with would find out I'm an atheist and freak out.  However, we have people from so many differing religious backgrounds; including buddhists and one boss who has stated in the past that his neighbor didn't like him because he isn't religious(so he's a freethinker too; just don't know his specific views).  So, I can't imagine how them just finding out that I don't believe in god(s) would result in anything worse than maybe a couple of the religious employees secretly praying for my soul.  

Anyway, I'm pretty much out now whether I feel completely comfortable with it or not.  My real name is out there on the internet associated with atheism/freethought in very obvious ways.  I still avoid using my full name on the forums simply because I want to make it harder for crazy people to figure out who I am. I do know of one person who did get a forum stalker but he thankfully didn't know her home address...but he was so obsessed that he was going to other forums and posting stuff about her; he came here too and I just happened to know who he was talking about and let her know (he finally left her alone after a couple years and her reporting him to the authorites multiple times).  So ya, there are some crazy people out there who are good reasons to be afraid to be too open with information (even if you aren't an atheist). My immediate family all at least knows that I am not religious; for those that it has come up with they know that I am an atheist (my family doesn't talk about religion that much so there is rarely a reason for me to discuss my views).  

Basically, if you are around reasonable people...what is there to fear?  You might have to lead into stating your views in order to create a better platform to state them in a manner the other person will calmly accept, but after doing so there shouldn't be any issues.  The only people who would truly freak out are the fundies and I'm pretty sure average religious people already think they are crazy anyway.  Try not to let all the crazies on the internet affect your view of how people react in the 'real' world...sure there are crazy people out there but it seems that a lot of them are using the internet to say the stuff they won't say to anyone's face (who knows how many of them are posting from jails and mental hospitals too!).

I think that for most of us, our fear to be open about our views is unreasonable.  There are of course exceptionss and everyone should evaluate the state of mind of those around them before bringing up their controversial views (for instance, it's probably a bad idea to say you are an atheist at a conservative NRA meeting unless you already know the people well enough to gague their reactions).  I can tell people that I am pro choice in public without anything terrible happening (and to many people that is the same as saying I'm pro murder).  I don't see why it can't be the same with saying I'm an atheist, I'm a freethinker, I'm an agnostic if we all were more willing to not fear the labels and educate people on what they really mean.

[Loffler]

You're gonna have to choose in any situation between telling people you're an atheist or arguing religion. Because if you tell them you're an atheist, it's highly unlikely they'll want to argue religion with you.

You should not have told that girl who saw your FSM book that you're an atheist. That shut her up. You should have asked her why it's sacrilegious, or why that matters, etc.