« Last Post by Icarus on April 22, 2017, 10:18:26 PM »
I am sympathetic for you Velma. I have been there in a somewhat similar way.
I married the widow Lorraine, who had a three year old son. I became Fred's father, in fact, and in spirit. In time I did the legal Adoption option. That was more than 50 years ago.
Fred never liked me despite my having bought him five, yes five, cars while he was in high school. He wrecked every one of them, deliberately, because none of them were the Corvette that he wanted. and I could not afford to buy, nor did I think that model ideal for a high school kid.
We built soap box racers together, we did model building together, we did other things together, I bailed him out of jail for under age drinking, but nothing was ever good enough. When his mom died suddenly because she had a rheumatic heart valve problem from when she was a teen ager, Fred blamed me for her demise. We never made our peace after that and he resented the hell out of my having eventually taken up a relationship with present wife, Elaine, after four years of good behavior on my part.
Fred died after three marriages and numerous affairs, yet I was the bad ass for having the temerity to entertain women other than his deceased mother. I did go to his funeral, not as a rememberance of Fred but because he and his sister were close. Fred, in his dying days opted to live in the same town as his sister. The sister, my natural daughter, did all the funeral arrangements in a location eight hours away from me.
My attitude at the funeral was not very tearful. Velma, if you can make even the slightest use of that tale, then please do so. You are not obligated to cry for someone who has not been there for you.