In Defense of Losing Your Virginity

[jrosebud]

http://music.msn.com/music/opinion/in-defense-of-losing-your-virginity/?GT1=BUZZ1

Someone needs to pass this along to the abstinence only "sex educators."

My favorite quote from the article:

"Virginity itself is actually way less important than self respect, self control, and the ability to keep both intact in tough situations. Those are the lessons parents ought to teach. Ultimately, that's what will keep our kids safer in a big, bad world."

[curiosityandthecat]

That's a coincidence... I just finished reading an article called "The Impact of Religiosity on Adolescent Sexual Behavior: A Review of the Evidence." Some people might find it interesting, so I'll run down the bits I pulled from it. You can actually read straight down the page and it will be (more or less) like reading the article. This is all directly quoted from the article, so any typos and made-up words are the authors, with the exception of things in [brackets] as I used those to make it a bit more readable.

It's an interesting read.

Page 678:
   â€¢ Although authors of a previous review of the research concluded that being actively religious may reduce an adolescent's likelihood of engaging in sexual intercourse by half, other researchers have failed to document any effect for abstinence-only sex education programs that are costing 437 million dollars of federal and state funds.
   â€¢ Is the evidence good enough to conclude that religiosity serves as a deterrent to early sexual activity and/or to the risk of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases? To answer this question, we undertook a comprehensive review of the social science literature from 1980 to 2000 and found only minimal progress toward a theoretically sound and empirically rigorous study of religion as a context of adolescent development and well-being. That is, in a qualitative analysis of more than 50 empirical studies published in peer-reviewed journals, we concluded that the evidence is primarily correlational, cross-sectional , and atheoretical.

Page 679:
   â€¢ [Examining ] surveys of adolescent religious beliefs and practices conducted in 1951, 1962, and 1975 [the] results suggest that by 1975, fewer adolescents attended weekly religious services, prayed daily, or reported that they believed in a personal God.
   â€¢ Roughly 90% report an affiliation with a particular denomination, although many fewer participate regularly in worship services or youth groups.
   â€¢ That is, weekly religious service attendance among 12th grade students hovered around the 40% level through 1981, dropped to 31% by 1991, and then remained relatively constant through 1997.
   â€¢ In general, formal religious participation decreases with age during adolescence.

Page 680:
   â€¢ Although recent analyses indicate an overall decline in the proportion of adolescents who have engaged in sexual intercourse… proportions remain higher among Black adolescents of both genders when compared to White or Hispanic adolescents.
   â€¢ Recent analyses also indicate an increase in the use of contraception at first coitus [and] a threefold increase in condom use since 1975.
   â€¢ Forty-four percent of girls who report that they have not engaged in sexual intercourse cite religious or moral values as their motivation for abstinence from sexual activity. An additional 33% report that they abstain to avoid pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Although there is a clear association between religious values and abstinence, few studies have established the causal direction of this association, and few studies have tested explanatory models.
   
Page 682:
   â€¢ Social control mechanisms hypothesized to reduce the likelihood that an adolescent will engage in early intercourse may also decrease the likelihood that he or she will use contraception once he or she does become sexually active. For example, among youth whose religions are opposed to the use of contraception, the decision to engage in only one proscribed behavior (e.g., nonmarital sexual intercourse) is preferable to the decision to engage in two proscribed behaviors (e.g., nonmarital sexual intercourse and contraception). Likewise, premeditated sex, in which an adolescent actively plans and acquires a contraceptive method, may create such intolerable cognitive dissonance for religious youth that they must resolve it in ways that increase their chances of risky sexual behavior, should they succumb to temptation in a moment of weakness.

Page 687:
   â€¢ Although Black and White Fundamentalist denominations both discourage sexual activity outside of marriage… White churches may be more judging.
   â€¢ Although theses studies clearly suggest that a conservative religious affiliation delays sexual debut, more longitudinal research is needed to determine the particular mechanisms accounting for this effect. For instance, do adolescents in conservative denominations internalize more negative messages about and sanctions against sexual behavior than do other adolescents?

Page 688:
   â€¢ [Regarding survey formation,] grouping Jews, Buddhists, and atheists together in a so-called other category (as is common) makes little sense.
   
Page 689:
   â€¢ In [the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth] a subsample of 450 adolescents who were at least 14 years old at the time of the third wave of data collection were selected and defined as high risk because they were born to young, low [socio-economic status] mothers with a greater than average family size. In this subsample, [church] attendance increased the odds of delaying sexual debut past age 14 in males and females but only when participants reported that their friends attended as well.
   â€¢ Perhaps it is not the attendance per se but rather the peer social support for delaying the initiation of sexual intercourse that is predictive.
   â€¢ [Likewise, another survey] found that attendance was a predictor only when the adolescent males' friends also attended.
   â€¢ Several commentators have noted that frequency of attending religious services, as well as denominational affiliation, may not be solely under the control of adolescents themselves. Instead, perhaps these measures are proxies for parental control.
   
Page 691:
   â€¢ Other studies using the National Survey of Family Growth data reported significant correlations between more conservative religious affiliations and a lack of contraceptive use at first coitus among both Black and White adolescent girls.
   â€¢ Few have followed a group of youth over time and described actual developmental changes in religious attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.

Citation: Rostosky, S., Wilcox, B., Wright, M. & Randall, B.  (2004.)  "The Impact of Religiosity on Adolescent Sexual Behavior."  Journal of Adolescent Research.  19(6).  677-697.

[jrosebud]

Thanks for the addition, Curio.

I was one of those religious teens who thought that using contraception was like adding another sin to the pile and ended up getting pregnant (in a long-term, committed relationship, thankfully) at age eighteen.  Maybe that's why the subject grates on me.  It's taken a long time for me to disentangle sex from guilt.  I wish more abstinence-only parents would realize what they're setting their kids up for - guilt, fear, shame (not to mention pregnecy and disease) - when sexual expression should be one of the good things in life.  It's sad.

[Will]

I think people say "I should have waited" because they think that's what they should say because losing your virginity is supposed to be some miraculous experience.

My first time was 14ish, and my girlfriend at the was not a virgin (which I found out is the best way to go). My second girlfriend was a virgin and the knowledge and experience I had taken away from my first relationship, as well as he confidence that comes from a loving and strong relationship, made me more capable in helping her through he first few times which can be less than enjoyable for young women.

"Sin" never entered into the equation.

[Jolly Sapper]

My experiences are pretty similar to Will's.

Just an added thought.  
Even with comprehensive sex ed, are there complementary efforts to desensitize young (potentially)sexually active people from the embarrassment/discomfort at getting contraceptives?  I think it took me about four years of buying condoms before I stopped feeling uncomfortable when walking into a store to pick some up.

[curiosityandthecat]

My experiences are pretty similar to Will's.

Just an added thought.  
Even with comprehensive sex ed, are there complementary efforts to desensitize young (potentially)sexually active people from the embarrassment/discomfort at getting contraceptives?  I think it took me about four years of buying condoms before I stopped feeling uncomfortable when walking into a store to pick some up.

From the things I've read... no.

[Whitney]

Even with comprehensive sex ed, are there complementary efforts to desensitize young (potentially)sexually active people from the embarrassment/discomfort at getting contraceptives?  I think it took me about four years of buying condoms before I stopped feeling uncomfortable when walking into a store to pick some up.

I heard that some schools in the UK hand out condoms to their students...of course, that could be a rumor started by fundies as a means to prove their view that the UK is under the control of satan or some other nonsense.  I took it as a progressive approach, so I hope it wasn't just made up.

I had more than one sex ed class:  I had one in the 7th grade at a private school and we basically just learned how all the parts worked without much emphasis on preventative measures.  I had another sex ed class in the 8th grade at a public school they went over contraceptive measures but ultimately advised abstinence.  I had another sex ed class in 9th grade  at my church (seriously...and my mom was one of the teachers) they went over everything including the fact that planned parenthood hands out condoms.  But, that was as close as I came to being informed on how to get contraceptives...and it didn't fix the embarrassment part.  I quit being embarrased to buy condoms when I quit viewing sex as sin.

[Tom62]

I heard that some schools in the UK hand out condoms to their students...of course, that could be a rumor started by fundies as a means to prove their view that the UK is under the control of satan or some other nonsense.  I took it as a progressive approach, so I hope it wasn't just made up.

When I was at a concert of Jean Michel Jarre in Geneva, Switzerland they also handed out free condoms before the concert started. I found a very nice gesture, but doubted that this action was really useful, because  there weren't many youngsters in the audience (the average age of the public was around 30-35). But I must say, that the sight of strange looking balloons floating around during the concert greatly improved the atmosphere of the concert.