News:

Look, I haven't mentioned Zeus, Buddah, or some religion.

Main Menu

Effing Dad

Started by Arturo, June 14, 2016, 12:42:15 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Arturo

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 07:37:52 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 05:58:12 AM
I know what you mean, I moved about  2200 kms away from my father, who does project a lot onto his children, sometimes unreasonably. You become happier when you start standing up for yourself, even if your aim is to please.   

Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand.  Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't  know if your father is maliciously abusive,  or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.

Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you,  a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.

:smilenod:

Don't let it get to you if this is the case.

Thank you silver. I think I know how to handle myself. I'm just learning to do things for myself now and to do them for my reasons. You're right that I can't let it get to me because then he wins, but I still have to stick up for myself like you have and tell him I run my life for my reasons and am unsatisfied with his involvement.

I appreciate your help with this even though I over react to my problems. Like I said, I am still learning.

Hey, I don't stand up for myself all of the time yet, one of the reasons I moved away was to keep him from meddling in my life they way he thinks he should. ;) Just so you get an idea, I started a undergrad course of his choice, but dropped out one year into it. It's kind of funny how he had my whole career planned out for me before I told him that I was going to crush that dream of his. My sister (his favourite)  went the whole way, but doesn't put her diploma into any use. My father paid for her entire tuition, but he might as well have burnt that money instead. ::)

Anyways, that's my rant. :blahblah: I feel that if I make a mistake then it's my mistake. If it's his mistakes that are affecting my life then things get complicated.  :rant1:

You're not overreacting, these problems can be quite serious.  :headshake:

Yes I feel it's the same with me.
It's Okay To Say You're Welcome
     Just let people be themselves.
     Arturo The1  リ壱