Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Bluenose

Quote from: Icarus on August 20, 2018, 04:31:42 AM
Thanks for the accurate translation Blue.  For we yanks it is humorous, but it must be dead serious for authentic Aussies.

Actually, I just like playing it up for the amusement of myself and hopefully others here.

I don't really speak like that, but don't tell anyone, OK?  Otherwise |'ll just have to sic the drop-bears on yous all...
+++ Divide by cucumber error: please reinstall universe and reboot.  +++

GNU Terry Pratchett


Bluenose

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmers paddock. The old farmer went to investigate, shook his head sadly and proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local cop came out to investigate and the old farmer explained what had happened. The cop shook his head sadly and asked "were they ALL dead?, prompting the old farmer to reply - "Well some of them said they weren't but you know how them politicians lie"
+++ Divide by cucumber error: please reinstall universe and reboot.  +++

GNU Terry Pratchett


Icarus


Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Dark Lightning


xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Dave

Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Essie Mae

A friend sent this to Mr M. You clever HAFers might anticipate the punchline.

Woman gives birth to triplets.

"WTF! How did that happen?" her husband shouted.

His wife replied, "Well you know we ran  out of Vaseline and you used 3-in-one ........".

"Bejeez" he said, "Thank god I didn't use WD40".
Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Wm Shakespeare


Icarus


Dark Lightning


Essie Mae

A FB friend sent me this today.

Three men died just before Christmas.
St Peter said they could only come in if they had something to do with Christmas on them.
The first man flicked his lighter on and said, 'This is a candle'.
'Come in', said St Peter.
The second man jingled his keys and said, 'These are sleigh bells'.
'Come in', said St Peter.
The third man pulled out a thong and a bra.
'What have these to do with Christmas?' asked St Peter.
'They're Carol's'.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Wm Shakespeare