Saudi princess: What I'd change about my country

[En_Route]

I would try to identify and weed out as best I can harmful or unhelpful thinking patterns. By definition it's impossible to know for sure how successfully I achieve that goal. I am 100% confident it's not 100%. On your other point, it's actually well- nigh impossible to avoid altering our neural circuitry, just by dint of the life- choices we make.
I would venture that  many people want to learn and grow and master new insights and skills. That kind of striving is conducive to human happiness. Achievement normally does involve effort which may well entail to some extent going against the grain to get you where you want to be. Paradoxically, part who we are may often  turn out to be the desire to be something more than we already are.

No wonder there's so much misery in the world - everyone chasing their tales...

The neuroscience as well as everyday observation suggests otherwise. Being engaged in pursuits that challenge, grip and engage us is a major ingredient in  maintaining mental health and contentment. Putting yourself on a treadmill to achieve material success or status is not a recipe for joy.

Okay, flippant comment.

...but think of the money and status...!

Money up to a point,  but status is a hard drug- it gives a false high and if you can't get your fix, you're fucked.

[Tank]

Thank you, Tank, Sweetdeath, and Firebird.  It's a lot to take in, and it will probably be a while before I understand this board.  Right now it seems very illogical and arbitrary, but I am sure that I will one day see logic (colored by a bit of illogic) and reason (colored by a bit of arbitrariness).

When you do understand it please explain it to me, because I don't 

[En_Route]

Thank you, Tank, Sweetdeath, and Firebird.  It's a lot to take in, and it will probably be a while before I understand this board.  Right now it seems very illogical and arbitrary, but I am sure that I will one day see logic (colored by a bit of illogic) and reason (colored by a bit of arbitrariness).

When you do understand it please explain it to me, because I don't 

Let's keep it that way.

[DeterminedJuliet]

Dammit! Why did I post that before I went on vacation.

Anyhoo, not to re-ignite the fire, but since Siz addressed me specifically, I'll just say that I never expect special treatment from men. I don't make my husband do all of the "man chores" (I unclog toilets/sinks myself, I change tires, I've chopped wood, etc.)  And I never ask for "special treatment" when I'm on my period. What the hell would that be anyway? If I'm feeling badly, I pop pills like every other woman I know and go about my business. When I was pregnant, I didn't ask for any "special treatment" either, until I was literally as big as a house, when I'd maybe ask for a seat every now and again. But, really? That'd make me a hypocrite? I'm pretty sure if my husband's testicles were swollen to the point where he found it painful to walk, I'd offer him some comfortable seating, but I don't think that's a "sexist" issue, just a simple issue of acknowledging real biological limits (and no, I don't consider my entire experience as a woman a "biological limit").

Yes, my husband is stronger than me, so if we ever need to enter a weight-lifting contest together, I'm sure I'd have him do most of the competing. Other than that, how often do feats of strength really come into play in our lives? Not that often. We're not pioneers, we live in an apartment in the Ottawa-burbs. I'm sure our brains are wired-differently, as well, but all individuals have differently wired brains. In a relationship, I don't see how it makes much difference, because you don't relate to a "gender", you relate to a person. Understanding the uniqueness, strengths and weakness of that person is a million times more useful than generalizing that person into what you "expect" about their gender without further examination.

The same thing goes for the public sphere -- how is it helpful to treat women differently, beyond general politeness in public? Shouldn't you be polite to everyone? Shouldn't you try to help anyone if they seem to need assistance? Or, if you don't care about philanthropy, shouldn't you just say "fuck 'em" to everyone? Why are women special when it comes to doors? I just don't get it!

Like I said before, I'm not rude to people, and I don't assume the worst of every man that holds the door open for me. If they don't say anything or make any other indication, I assume that they're nice people (and I'm probably right most of the time). But, every now and then, you get the smarmy guy who thinks his patronizing is romantic and it bugs the shit out of me

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd now I'm going back to my vacation