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Dating advice for a guy

Started by Curt, October 12, 2017, 12:27:48 AM

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Curt

A little background first. Went on 4 dates with a really beautiful woman. Had sex after 3rd date. Great sex she had about 12 orgasms. Wild and fun night. For the 4th date we went out had a great dinner and conversation at a nice restaurant. Everything seemed to go well. Well today I get a text that says the following.          Not so sure how to say this so delicatlely, so I will just say it.  Not sure we should see each other more. There is nothing wrong. I just don't think I am feeling the spark or developing any emotional interest.  Wouldn't want to lead you on, as you seem like a genuine guy who has good intentions.              End of text.  So how should I respond? I would like to get her to give me another chance. Don't want to be her for another date or sound desperate but want to keep seeing her. Any suggestions how I should respond? Thanks

xSilverPhinx

12 organisms? :o What kind of organisms? Are we talking offspring here? :notsure: That's a LOT! 

I'm just joking. ;)

Well, Curt, I don't know her but she probably did give you quite a few chances to see if she would fall in love with you, 4 dates and sex. IMO if she isn't falling in love with you then maybe there isn't much you can do, you could probably ask for another chance but that would come off as a little clingy. If she accepts another date out of kindness it might be because she pities you, in a sense. It's probably worth the try though (what more is there to lose?), but I think if you feel she still isn't interested then perhaps it's time to let her go. 

Just my two cents.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Curt

Dam auto spell correct. If I actually gave her 12 organisms it would be no mystery as to why she wanted to break up. lol. I was wondering maybe I should try to play a little reverse psychology on her. Tell her I agree with her and didn't feel a spark either? Maybe a good strategy.  Who knows. Women! At least I got laid out of the deal

Dragonia

Well Curt, I must admit.... I'm a teeny bit skeptical about the 12 orgasms. That's an awful lot. Not saying it couldn't happen, but wow, maybe I need your number!
Nah, just kidding.
Seriously, from just her text, I'd say she's probably checked out, and another chance won't make much difference. There's a very fine line between a man pursuing a woman in a charming and endearing way, and a guy who is just obnoxious and creepy.
You might text her back and tell her that you had a great time with her and would love to see her more, but that you'll respect her space and her feelings. And then do just that.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato (?)

xSilverPhinx

Quote from: Curt on October 12, 2017, 02:19:48 AM
Dam auto spell correct. If I actually gave her 12 organisms it would be no mystery as to why she wanted to break up. lol. I was wondering maybe I should try to play a little reverse psychology on her. Tell her I agree with her and didn't feel a spark either? Maybe a good strategy.  Who knows. Women! At least I got laid out of the deal

Maybe, but then she might ask you why you would want to stay with her if you didn't feel emotionally drawn to her? Was it just the sex? Was it so as not to be alone? These are questions she might think of or ask you.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Dragonia

Yeah, don't try the reverse psychology thing.... that's just being dishonest and it really won't work, and would probably backfire.
You got the right idea, you had a good time, if she's not feeling it, just be glad you guys had a few fun days.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato (?)

Curt


Curt

Quote from: Dragonia on October 12, 2017, 02:24:25 AM
Well Curt, I must admit.... I'm a teeny bit skeptical about the 12 orgasms. That's an awful lot. Not saying it couldn't happen, but wow, maybe I need your number!
Nah, just kidding.
Seriously, from just her text, I'd say she's probably checked out, and another chance won't make much difference. There's a very fine line between a man pursuing a woman in a charming and endearing way, and a guy who is just obnoxious and creepy.
You might text her back and tell her that you had a great time with her and would love to see her more, but that you'll respect her space and her feelings. And then do just that.

It was a good time.  Not just trying to make myself sound like a stud.  And yes I can tell when a woman is faking.  I do like your text reply though.  Sounds mature and respectful.  Most likely wont make much of a difference what I reply I imagine.   Sucks I liked the lady!

Magdalena

Quote from: Curt on October 12, 2017, 12:27:48 AM
A little background first. Went on 4 dates with a really beautiful woman. Had sex after 3rd date. Great sex she had about 12 orgasms.
Were you counting?  :eyebrow:

Quote from: Curt on October 12, 2017, 12:27:48 AM
Well today I get a text that says the following.          Not so sure how to say this so delicatlely, so I will just say it.  Not sure we should see each other more. There is nothing wrong. I just don't think I am feeling the spark or developing any emotional interest.  Wouldn't want to lead you on, as you seem like a genuine guy who has good intentions.              End of text.
She's not feeling the spark?
According to you she felt it...about 12 times.  :eyebrow:
Not developing any emotional interest?
Maybe she didn't "feel" you because she noticed you were busy counting?  :eyebrow:
You seem like a genuine guy who has good intentions?
Intentions to please her sexually...12 times?  :eyebrow:

Quote from: Curt on October 12, 2017, 12:27:48 AM

So how should I respond?
How do you want to respond?

...Oh, never mind, you did already:
1. "I would like to get her [you] to give me another chance."
2. "Don't want to be her [you] for another date or sound desperate but want to keep seeing her [you]".

Be honest, tell her what you told us...(but not how impressed you are about pleasing her sexually...12 times.) Maybe she wants to know how you feel about her.  If you try the reverse psychology thing, she'll never know how you really feel. If you tell her:
1. "I would like to get her [you] to give me another chance."
2. "Don't want to be her [you] for another date or sound desperate but want to keep seeing her [you]".
She'll know how you feel, and if she doesn't care about your feelings and your honesty, let her go.  :shrug:

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

Quote from: Dragonia on October 12, 2017, 02:24:25 AM
Well Curt, I must admit.... I'm a teeny bit skeptical about the 12 orgasms. ...
In my experience women vary greatly in their orgasmic response and post orgasm behaviour. Some take hours to reach orgasm, some minutes. Some can't bear to be touched for a while after orgasm some just get more aroused with each orgasm. These particular pre and post orgasm traits have no fixed connection so some women take a long time to get to the first one but then just keep going. Others will orgasm in 5 minutes but need to recover for a while (20 to 30 minutes or more) before you can get near them again. For some women 12 orgasms is just the start! Every person is different. Some women find they can't orgasm except by their own hand. Other can only achieve orgasm with assistance from toys or other people or circumstances. It's a fascinating subject I have studied for decades. The orgasmic response of people also changes over time so what might be true at 20 is quite different for the same person at 50.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." โ€• Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

Quote from: Curt on October 12, 2017, 12:27:48 AM
A little background first. Went on 4 dates with a really beautiful woman. Had sex after 3rd date. Great sex she had about 12 orgasms. Wild and fun night. For the 4th date we went out had a great dinner and conversation at a nice restaurant. Everything seemed to go well. Well today I get a text that says the following.          Not so sure how to say this so delicatlely, so I will just say it.  Not sure we should see each other more. There is nothing wrong. I just don't think I am feeling the spark or developing any emotional interest.  Wouldn't want to lead you on, as you seem like a genuine guy who has good intentions.              End of text.  So how should I respond? I would like to get her to give me another chance. Don't want to be her for another date or sound desperate but want to keep seeing her. Any suggestions how I should respond? Thanks
What short term and long term outcomes do you want? Those could influence how you respond. Do you know any previous dating behaviour of the woman involved. If not could you find out a bit without stalking her? How did you meet her? Do you have a link to her on Facebook? I ask as you should try to understand how different her facebook persona is from the one you encountered, if it is different at all.

Human relationships are almost infinity complex thus any advise offered will be determined by what we know of the circumstances. The more you can tell us the better.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." โ€• Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Curt

I replied "  I had a great time with you and would love to see you more, but I l respect your space and feelings. Take care.

Sent it late last night so no response as of yet.

hermes2015

La donna รจ mobile. Not that I would know, but so I've been told.
"Eventually everything connects - people, ideas, objects. The quality of the connections is the key to quality per se."
โ€• Charles Eames

Curt

Quote from: Magdalena on October 12, 2017, 05:24:42 AM
Quote from: Curt on October 12, 2017, 12:27:48 AM
A little background first. Went on 4 dates with a really beautiful woman. Had sex after 3rd date. Great sex she had about 12 orgasms.
Were you counting?  :eyebrow:
No I was not counting. 12 is approx. We actually had sex twice that evening so it was spread out over 2 times.

Bad Penny II

Quote from: Tank on October 12, 2017, 08:09:20 AM
Quote from: Dragonia on October 12, 2017, 02:24:25 AM
Well Curt, I must admit.... I'm a teeny bit skeptical about the 12 orgasms. ...
In my experience women vary greatly in their orgasmic response and post orgasm behaviour. Some take hours to reach orgasm, some minutes. Some can't bear to be touched for a while after orgasm some just get more aroused with each orgasm. These particular pre and post orgasm traits have no fixed connection so some women take a long time to get to the first one but then just keep going. Others will orgasm in 5 minutes but need to recover for a while (20 to 30 minutes or more) before you can get near them again. For some women 12 orgasms is just the start! Every person is different. Some women find they can't orgasm except by their own hand. Other can only achieve orgasm with assistance from toys or other people or circumstances. It's a fascinating subject I have studied for decades. The orgasmic response of people also changes over time so what might be true at 20 is quite different for the same person at 50.

I envy you your research, bastard.

I think it might be a thing that a woman's orgasm is a woman's orgasm, it's not a gift from a male.  As long as he's not totally incompetent she'll do her thing. 

She's had twelve, but what did him do? She mightn't have been impressed.

Sweet Stevie: "Lousy lovers pick their prey
But they never cry out loud"

I never cry out loud.
Take my advice, don't listen to me.