Social Media : What's fair?

[DeterminedJuliet]

So, I'm currently in a debate with someone on my Facebook list (ah, Facebook, you den of drama, you).

I won't tell you which position I am holding, but I would like to discuss the following:

When it comes to spreading "bad publicity" about a business on social media, where do you think the line should be drawn? Or, should there be a line drawn at all? If someone has a truly bad experience that could likely go viral, should they try to discuss their grievances with the owner of the business before hitting the web? It is nice/mean to post an honest opinion of a business when you know it could spread like wild-fire?

How responsible is the business for being able to anticipate "online action"? How responsible are individuals for the damage that might be inflicted on a business by something they spread? Where does the value of the "truth" factor in to all of this?

You're a smart bunch and I'd like to know what you think. Social communication and responsibility. What do you think?

[philosoraptor]

Depending on the issue, I'd probably try to resolve it with the business/business owner first.  If that didn't work, I'd file a complaint with the BBB probably before I'd say anything negative online.  Sometimes though, those REALLY bad internet reviews are what spurs a business into taking action to correct bad business practices, etc... when they might have otherwise ignored the problem at hand.

[DeterminedJuliet]

For some context, the debate is about this image ( I posted it in the "what's on your mind", but I guess I should put it here, too):

It was created and given to a handful of customers by the manager.

[Melmoth]

When it comes to spreading "bad publicity" about a business on social media, where do you think the line should be drawn? Or, should there be a line drawn at all? If someone has a truly bad experience that could likely go viral, should they try to discuss their grievances with the owner of the business before hitting the web? It is nice/mean to post an honest opinion of a business when you know it could spread like wild-fire?

I feel no responsibility whatsoever, and I find the idea that I should slightly odd. I'm not a representative of their business; if they want me to tailor my opinions and only be nice about them in public, they should put me under marketing and pay me.

[Stevil]

Seems like the business owner has a dilemma.
People use the place to hangout, which means it is popular, which is good for the business,  but....

Seems to be a significant amount of people are not providing revenue for the business, just using the premises which obviously impedes having places for paying customers to sit and relax.

Seems like the manager is being reasonable and honest by letting the people know of the issue.

[Tank]

In general I would say if one has an issue one takes it up directly with those directly concerned first.
If this does not bring about a satisfactory resolution discuss the issue with an unconnected third party to get an objective assessment of the issue.
If the 'objective' third party agrees with your position and can logically support their opinion one can consider going public.
Before going public consider if you should give the other party the opportunity of changing their position before you do.
This might be considered a threat by the other party so you may not wish to give them the opportunity to know what you are doing.
If you choose to go public then be scrupulously honest, as objective as possible and only use verifiable information.
Do not draw conclusions from your public comment/argument, simply present the facts and allow your audience to draw their own conclusions.
Be prepared to be magnanimous if you 'win'. Cornering a person might feel nice, but it precludes an ultimately satisfying resolution.

[philosoraptor]

I don't know though that a condescending letter is the way to go.  A simple sign, "Seating for paying customers only" would probably suffice.  Alternately, if you notice people loitering you tell them to leave-some might make a stink, but most people don't want trouble.  If I was someone who liked to both drink coffee and work there, I'd probably be inclined to take my business elsewhere after reading something like that.  No one likes a smarmy twat.  That note reads like it was written by a smarmy twat.

[Tank]

In this specific case the manager has really demonstrated that they haven't got a clue how to manage or handle people. If it were me I'd go sit with the people that I had a problem with and discuss the problem I had by asking them to put themselves in my position and ask them how they would handle it. 9 out of 10 would get the point and the 1 out of 10 would just get told to politely 'fuck off'.

[Ihateyoumike]

For some context, the debate is about this image ( I posted it in the "what's on your mind", but I guess I should put it here, too):

It was created and given to a handful of customers by the manager.

I would go in there and intentionally "loose" track of time so that I'd get booted and get the opportunity to tell the douche that his policy is going to make him "loose" customers, starting with me.

[The Magic Pudding]

Seems like the business owner has a dilemma.
People use the place to hangout, which means it is popular, which is good for the business,  but....

Seems to be a significant amount of people are not providing revenue for the business, just using the premises which obviously impedes having places for paying customers to sit and relax.

Seems like the manager is being reasonable and honest by letting the people know of the issue.

Yes that above.
I'd prefer a note than a manager faking it, coming and explaining how I don't fit with his business plan.
Centred text, upper-case, orange paper eeeeek!

[Ali]

In my line of work, we always say that word of mouth is the most important form of advertising, for good or for bad.  *shrug*  This business owner has probably learned a tough lesson in the past couple of days.  As for what I personally would do, I'm not typically the "activist" type when it comes to businesses that have wronged me.  I once threatened to take my plight public with Babies R US, but that was sort of a public safety issue.  They had recalled T's crib  (which I bought at BRU) after a rash of deaths but BRU was refusing to take it back.  In fairness to me, I was threatening BRU corporate directly, so I guess that answers the question about what I would do if I felt strongly enough about it.  For the most part though, I just shrug and resolve not to give that business my money again. 

[The Magic Pudding]

There is another side of taking it public.
How about the customers the manager is attempting to attract, they may well be attracted.

[Ali]

There is another side of taking it public.
How about the customers the manager is attempting to attract, they may well be attracted.

True.  Like those restaurants that actively discourage people bringing their children. The Mommy Set often gets their panties in a bunch about that, but the flipside is that those that really don't want to breathe the same air as children may well be attracted to that sort of thing.

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading-2516110.html

[DeterminedJuliet]

Here's another question: if that picture showed up in your Facebook or Twitter feed, would you re-send it? or would you hesitate because you didn't know the whole story/context behind the letter?

[Asmodean]

Hmm... I don't judge a business by the crap people pour over it in media and conversations. People are generally full of shit - they quickly forget mildly positive service-related experiences and overreact over mildly negative ones.

Me, I only blacklist a business if my experience with it is repeatedly poor (I don't blame a train conductor at the end of a friday night shift for being snappish, for instance), but I don't try to piss all over the business even when blacklisting occurs.

All in all, I find constructive criticism more helpful to everyone than anecdotal ravings.