The End Of The Male

[DeterminedJuliet]

Most divorces are filed by the females? ??? Really?

I don't know about anywhere else, but in the UK, the last figures I saw were that something like 70% of divorces are now instigated by women, and a quite extraordinary proportion of them take the first steps on or around 7th January. It's as though Christmas is just too much! Or perhaps they are just holding it together until after the holiday is over?

Family lawyers I know here in Texas will tell you a similar story - that divorce filings go up right after Christmas.  I think your latter explanation is the correct one.  The 70% figure doesn't surprise me.  For a man to file for divorce, he has to be prepared to lose primary custody of his children.  That's usually a pretty hard decision. The woman simply doesn't have as much to lose by dumping him.

Or, women tend to get the poopier ends of the stick in marriage.

[xSilverPhinx]

Most divorces are filed by the females? ??? Really?

I don't know about anywhere else, but in the UK, the last figures I saw were that something like 70% of divorces are now instigated by women, and a quite extraordinary proportion of them take the first steps on or around 7th January. It's as though Christmas is just too much! Or perhaps they are just holding it together until after the holiday is over?

Family lawyers I know here in Texas will tell you a similar story - that divorce filings go up right after Christmas.  I think your latter explanation is the correct one.  The 70% figure doesn't surprise me.  For a man to file for divorce, he has to be prepared to lose primary custody of his children.  That's usually a pretty hard decision. The woman simply doesn't have as much to lose by dumping him.

Now I've gotten insanely curious, any reasons as to why most filings occur after the holidays? Any anecdotal evidence? 

[Tank]

Or, women tend to get the poopier ends of the stick in marriage.

Ha! When the twins were born we started using towel nappies to save money. One day I was transfering the soiled nappies from the nappy bucket into the washing machine and accidentally flicked a chunk of poo into my mouth, which caused me to vomit into the nappy bucket. Needless to say we started using disposable nappies the next day.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Most divorces are filed by the females? ??? Really?

I don't know about anywhere else, but in the UK, the last figures I saw were that something like 70% of divorces are now instigated by women, and a quite extraordinary proportion of them take the first steps on or around 7th January. It's as though Christmas is just too much! Or perhaps they are just holding it together until after the holiday is over?

Family lawyers I know here in Texas will tell you a similar story - that divorce filings go up right after Christmas.  I think your latter explanation is the correct one.  The 70% figure doesn't surprise me.  For a man to file for divorce, he has to be prepared to lose primary custody of his children.  That's usually a pretty hard decision. The woman simply doesn't have as much to lose by dumping him.

Now I've gotten insanely curious, any reasons as to why most filings occur after the holidays? Any anecdotal evidence? 

Like Ildiko suggested, it's to get the kids past Christmas.  Get through the holidays, then break up the family in January so they will have almost a whole year to recover before it's time to get presents again.

[Norfolk And Chance]

Or, women tend to get the poopier ends of the stick in marriage.

Ha! When the twins were born we started using towel nappies to save money. One day I was transfering the soiled nappies from the nappy bucket into the washing machine and accidentally flicked a chunk of poo into my mouth, which caused me to vomit into the nappy bucket. Needless to say we started using disposable nappies the next day.

LOL, too much information man.

[xSilverPhinx]

Most divorces are filed by the females? ??? Really?

I don't know about anywhere else, but in the UK, the last figures I saw were that something like 70% of divorces are now instigated by women, and a quite extraordinary proportion of them take the first steps on or around 7th January. It's as though Christmas is just too much! Or perhaps they are just holding it together until after the holiday is over?

Family lawyers I know here in Texas will tell you a similar story - that divorce filings go up right after Christmas.  I think your latter explanation is the correct one.  The 70% figure doesn't surprise me.  For a man to file for divorce, he has to be prepared to lose primary custody of his children.  That's usually a pretty hard decision. The woman simply doesn't have as much to lose by dumping him.

Now I've gotten insanely curious, any reasons as to why most filings occur after the holidays? Any anecdotal evidence?

Like Ildiko suggested, it's to get the kids past Christmas.  Get through the holidays, then break up the family in January so they will have almost a whole year to recover before it's time to get presents again.

Well at least those cases are coolly and calmly planned then. I was thinking something more like: Christmas was the last straw, I'm filing for a divorce! kind of scenario.

[Tank]

Or, women tend to get the poopier ends of the stick in marriage.

Ha! When the twins were born we started using towel nappies to save money. One day I was transfering the soiled nappies from the nappy bucket into the washing machine and accidentally flicked a chunk of poo into my mouth, which caused me to vomit into the nappy bucket. Needless to say we started using disposable nappies the next day.

LOL, too much information man.

Wait until you have rug rats!

[Norfolk And Chance]

Or, women tend to get the poopier ends of the stick in marriage.

Ha! When the twins were born we started using towel nappies to save money. One day I was transfering the soiled nappies from the nappy bucket into the washing machine and accidentally flicked a chunk of poo into my mouth, which caused me to vomit into the nappy bucket. Needless to say we started using disposable nappies the next day.

LOL, too much information man.

Wait until you have rug rats!

I've got kids and managed to get through the nappy stages without getting poo my mouth Hey if anybody ever called you potty mouth or gobshite you could think "if only you knew!"

[Ildiko]

Like Ildiko suggested, it's to get the kids past Christmas.  Get through the holidays, then break up the family in January so they will have almost a whole year to recover before it's time to get presents again.

I don't think I mentioned kids. I have no idea how many of these female-instigated divorces in the UK involve kids at all. I wonder how many people still wait for the children to grow up, or perhaps just find when the children have left home that they have no real marriage left? How many of these 70% of divorces are instigated by women over 45, say, women with their own jobs? I expect there are statistics, but I'm not curious enough to look for them at the moment.

This system where the wife gets all the money and custody of the kids is alien to my experience. Do they not have joint custody where you are? And don't women earn their own money?

[xSilverPhinx]

Like Ildiko suggested, it's to get the kids past Christmas.  Get through the holidays, then break up the family in January so they will have almost a whole year to recover before it's time to get presents again.

I don't think I mentioned kids. I have no idea how many of these female-instigated divorces in the UK involve kids at all. I wonder how many people still wait for the children to grow up, or perhaps just find when the children have left home that they have no real marriage left? How many of these 70% of divorces are instigated by women over 45, say, women with their own jobs? I expect there are statistics, but I'm not curious enough to look for them at the moment.

This system where the wife gets all the money and custody of the kids is alien to my experience. Do they not have joint custody where you are? And don't women earn their own money?

This^

The idea of women with children breaking up a family just seems a little odd - women generally are more family oriented - though I'm not saying that I don't accept it because I think it's impossible. I just find it odd that Bruce makes it sound like they have nothing to loose (even if by extension), contrary to the father who does.

[Norfolk And Chance]

Women's expectations from marriage and their husbands are higher now we have sexual equality, and the man can't just tell his wife to like it or lump it.

Higher expectations = more disappointment = more divorces.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

This system where the wife gets all the money and custody of the kids is alien to my experience. Do they not have joint custody where you are? And don't women earn their own money?

There is such a thing as joint custody, but women more often than not, even in joint custody, get to determine where the child lives, so dad gets some weekends, etc.  Yes, women earn their own money. But when dividing up property owned by the couple, the wife will more often than not come out ahead. Furthermore, it will usually be the man paying child support to the woman.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

The idea of women with children breaking up a family just seems a little odd - women generally are more family oriented - though I'm not saying that I don't accept it because I think it's impossible. I just find it odd that Bruce makes it sound like they have nothing to loose (even if by extension), contrary to the father who does.

I probably didn't do a good job of explaining myself. Nobody is going to want to break up a good marriage/happy family. But when it all goes bad, it seems like the female is going to have more motivation to break it up.  She is more likely to end up with the kids, and would not be paying child support. 

[Attila]

This system where the wife gets all the money and custody of the kids is alien to my experience. Do they not have joint custody where you are? And don't women earn their own money?

There is such a thing as joint custody, but women more often than not, even in joint custody, get to determine where the child lives, so dad gets some weekends, etc.  Yes, women earn their own money. But when dividing up property owned by the couple, the wife will more often than not come out ahead. Furthermore, it will usually be the man paying child support to the woman.

I guess things work differently in Texas. I had joint custody of my two sons and the way it worked was 3 months her - 3 months me and if something came up each of us was there for the other. Expenses worked where we paid into a joint account in function of our respective incomes. If you summed our two incomes and then took the percentages of each and put them into the "kids-expense" fund . That's how it worked. Seemed logical at the time.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

This system where the wife gets all the money and custody of the kids is alien to my experience. Do they not have joint custody where you are? And don't women earn their own money?

There is such a thing as joint custody, but women more often than not, even in joint custody, get to determine where the child lives, so dad gets some weekends, etc.  Yes, women earn their own money. But when dividing up property owned by the couple, the wife will more often than not come out ahead. Furthermore, it will usually be the man paying child support to the woman.

I guess things work differently in Texas. I had joint custody of my two sons and the way it worked was 3 months her - 3 months me and if something came up each of us was there for the other. Expenses worked where we paid into a joint account in function of our respective incomes. If you summed our two incomes and then took the percentages of each and put them into the "kids-expense" fund . That's how it worked. Seemed logical at the time.

That would break up the school year.  Generally, mom gets the kids during school, then dad gets some weekends and some extra time in the summer.  Mom usually has to be a drug-addicted prostitute or worse not to get the primary custodial right. Then dad usually has to pay support. That's how we do it here, even though it's sometimes referred to as "joint" custody.