How would you cast a movie adaptation of the Bible?

[cthulhuguru]

Just saw this one hit Digg:
http://digg.com/movies/Calling_all_Heat ... _The_Movie

"It'd be great to see how the wittier Atheists, Agnostics, Pagans and other assorted heathens amongst us would cast the literally THOUSANDS of potential roles in a movie adaptation of The Bible. Fire away!"

OP's example is classic: "William H. Macy as Job - The perfect guy to be shat upon".

I'm ready for my closeup

[donkeyhoty]

James Earl Jones - voice of God

Linda Hunt - voice of the serpent, or overall narrator

Jeffrey Wright - that Jesus fella



and Shia LeBeouf would be in it, cuz he's so hot right now

[Tom62]

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Samson and  Jabba the Hutt as the Beast (Revelations).

[Will]

Romantic gross out comedy: Adam and Eve
God - Lawrence Fishburne (constant through all the movies)
Adam - Jimmy Kimmel
Eve - Sarah Silverman
Snake/Satan - Adam Corolla
Cain - Andy Dick
Able - David Spade

Rock Opera: Kiss Meets God
Abraham - Gene Simmons
Sarah - Jane Seymore
Isaac - Paul Stanley
Jacob - Tommy Thayer

Disney Shitfest: Joseph!
Joseph - Michael J. Fox
Pharaoh - James Woods
Pharaoh's Wife - Kim Cattrall
Joseph's Brothers - the Waynes Bros.

Action: Plague
Moses - Vin Diesel
Pharaoh - Ving Rhames
Aaron - 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
The Angel of Death - Dakota Fanning
Joshua - Orlando Bloom

Mob: The Enforcer
Samson - Michael Clark Duncan
Delilah - Angelina Jolie

Victorian Period Piece: Ruth
Ruth - Cate Blanchett
Boaz - Clive Owen
Elimelech -  Jeffry Rush
Naomi - Judy Dench
Mahlon - Joseph Fiennes
Chilian - Jude Law

Tarantino Pulp/Cult: King David
Goliath - John Travolta
King David - Sam Jackson ("That is the biggest mother f**king cracker I've ever f**king seen!")
Bathsheeba - Uma Thurman

Authentic Street Drama: Brother Elijah
Elijah - Avery Brooks
Omari -  Omar Epps
The Widow - Angela Bassett
Ahab - Taye Diggs
Jezebel - Beyonce
Elisha - Sean Patrick Thomas

...more to come later.

[rlrose328]

Wow, someone has way too much time on their hands... LOL!  I love what you've got here, though.  Kudos!

[MommaSquid]

Action: Plague
Moses - Vin Diesel
Pharaoh - Ving Rhames
Aaron - 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
The Angel of Death - Dakota Fanning
Joshua - Orlando Bloom

You nailed it!

Freakin' Dakota Fanning and her screams...like nails on a chalkboard.

[Will]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that finds her truly frightening. I had nightmares after watching Man on Fire.