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ONLYME! WHY DID YOU MUG ME!

Started by Big Mac, August 07, 2006, 03:24:55 PM

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Big Mac

So one day I was walking down the streets of Yorkshire looking for some fish and chips and out popped this guy:



And he says in a thick English (IE it sounds like he was dropped when he was a baby): "Gimme yer money-holder or I'll stab you with this fork, mate!"

I looked at him for a while and said, "Look, is that Jesus?"

"Where?! Why speak of the bugger....AHHHHHH!"

At which point I nailed him in his jewels (well they were really pebbles) and pulled out my S&W Combat 66 .357 magnum and told him, "Prepare to meet your messiah, boy..."

Just as I was about to help make the streets safe, a shuriken star lodged into my hand and made me drop my gun. Looking up I saw none other than......

SEAN CONNERY!

"Connery, Sean Connery, of Her Majesty's Royal Service! I believe you are breaking the law by attacking this poor misunderstood man, you should have treated it like a business transaction!" With that he pulled out a sword and Queen began wailing in the background. "There can only be one!"

With that I pulled out my back up, a Colt Detectives Special and put 3 into Mr. Bond's chest. "Yeah, and for me there is only 3 rounds per person...."

Then out of nowhere came another English person (I guess).......MEL GIBSON and RUSSEL CROWE, drinking and fighting round the world!

"Hey mate, that things dangerous, you might shoot someone!" They both crowed.

"That's the point, you dumbasses" and with that I retrieved my Combat 66 and helped make them both more aero-dynamic if you get my drift.

Then I returned to the guy who was about to mug me and said, "Get up, you have 10 seconds to out run me aim.....GO!"

With that he began to run and I counted out loud, "1....2....10!" and made him fly up like a pigeon with a hot load of .357 magnum into the back.

Then I picked up some pudding and fish & chips and danced some River Dance that night.
Quote from: "PoopShoot"And what if pigs shit candy?

Asmodean Prime

#1
Ha ha.  that is hilarious, Bigmac.  Now that is what I'm talking about!

Seriously, though, Bigmac, you think you'd outwit me with your 357 'legal' magnum?  I was using and dealing in guns when you were still in short pants.  Ha ha.  And disarming 'armed' people, using nothing more than skill, dexterity, and training.

Pudding and chips?  Maybe you are more versed in English cuisine than I give you credit for!

The setting for your scenario, though, was Lancashire, not Yorkshire.  Yorkshiremen are foreigners.  I live in Wigan,  Greater Manchester.

Asmodean Prime

#2
Sean Connery.  Licenced to kill.  The epitome of English refinement.  

No mess, no fuss.  

Marines?  Navy Seals?

Listen.  There is no combat unit on the face of the earth like the SAS.

Big Mac

#3
What the hell is a "legal" magnum? It's just I enjoy the power but not as much recoil in a .357 mag than wielding a .44 mag. Overkill really. We don't have ammo restrictions in this Country. you can buy a .50 cal sniper rifle, if you can afford it.

SAS is full of wankers.
Quote from: "PoopShoot"And what if pigs shit candy?

Asmodean Prime

#4
Bigmac, you wrote:

you can buy a .50 cal sniper rifle, if you can afford it.

We used to make our own.  Out of .22 airguns (pellet firing toys), which, when 'doctored' with a firing pin, and loaded with the correct .22 ammunition, was a formidable weapon at close range, and was used as a hunting rifle, for deers, etc.  It could kill a deer at 100 yards.  When you have to use a concealed or innocuous looking weapon, why use something that would land you in jail - in this country at least- when a smaller calibre weapon is perfectly capable of doing the job?

Ok, maybe I'm hailing back to my past a bit here.  You brought it on.  But I've always been fascinated by firearms.  I've seen what a .22 bullet can do.  The trouble is, since we had a massacre of schoolchildren in the UK, Scotland, to be exact, in which about 16 under 5's were killed,(something like columbine in the US) all handguns and unregistered guns have been outlawed.

As you probably know yourself, in your reference to 'shuriken', it's not always the 'big guns' that win the battle.  Sometimes a 'lesser' alternative can win the day in any battle.

Big Mac

#5
That's not a .50 cal sniper rifle. Have you ever seen a .50 cal bullet? That things a monster of a round. .22 bullet does some damage but nothing compared to a .45 ACP. And that's the point, why should it be illegal? Just because some people abuse weapons doesn't mean we should take it away from the majority that responsibly uses them. When guns are outlawed, on the outlaws shall have guns, and that includes both sides of the law if you get my drift.
Quote from: "PoopShoot"And what if pigs shit candy?

Asmodean Prime

#6
Quote from: "Big Mac"That's not a .50 cal sniper rifle. Have you ever seen a .50 cal bullet? That things a monster of a round. .22 bullet does some damage but nothing compared to a .45 ACP. And that's the point, why should it be illegal? Just because some people abuse weapons doesn't mean we should take it away from the majority that responsibly uses them. When guns are outlawed, on the outlaws shall have guns, and that includes both sides of the law if you get my drift.

'A monster of a round' does little  justice to the power of these weapons, and the damage they can inflict.  I certainly do agree with that.  Awesome.

You know what?  I DO get your drift.  But looking at it from a realistic point of view, there ARE more gun crimes in the US per capita than in the UK.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in favour of an individual's right to bear arms, in self defence, and as a constitutional right, as I've said before,  but there does seem to be a correllation between gun ownership, and the easy acquisition of weapons - and the level of gun crime on the streets of the US compared to the UK.

Why do you think that is?

Big Mac

#7
Not entirely true. Where guns are available quite liberally and concealed carry is quite prolific, crime tends to not be as rampant. You have to take into consideration we also have places like New York, Cali, and D.C. where gun ownership is nearly impossible so only criminals have them. Not to mention there are about 4 or 5 times more Americans than English people.

I think the reason is because honest citizens aren't allowed to carry arms at all times like they should be. Don't blame the tool for the user's choices.

There are more people killed by car accidents than there are gun deaths. And cars aren't even designed to kill people, quite the opposite.
Quote from: "PoopShoot"And what if pigs shit candy?

Asmodean Prime

#8
Quote from: "Big Mac"Not entirely true. Where guns are available quite liberally and concealed carry is quite prolific, crime tends to not be as rampant. You have to take into consideration we also have places like New York, Cali, and D.C. where gun ownership is nearly impossible so only criminals have them. Not to mention there are about 4 or 5 times more Americans than English people.

I think the reason is because honest citizens aren't allowed to carry arms at all times like they should be. Don't blame the tool for the user's choices.

There are more people killed by car accidents than there are gun deaths. And cars aren't even designed to kill people, quite the opposite.

ah...there are approx 180 million Americans, compared to 60 million UK citizens, but I DID mention the 'per capita' ratio of gun crime.

More people killed by car accidents?  Well, you got me there.  I have no answer to that.  I must concede, as would any realistic, thinking person.  This is a topic that needs more study and honest debate, in my opinion.

Still, if it gets us on the thinking path, it's a good thing.

Squid

#9
Quote from: "onlyme"Sean Connery.  Licenced to kill.  The epitome of English refinement.  

No mess, no fuss.  

Marines?  Navy Seals?

Listen.  There is no combat unit on the face of the earth like the SAS.

I've had the pleasure of meeting and talking with some ex-SAS guys.  One guy taught me and a friend how to reload a sidearm with one hand rather expediently.

The SAS was the model for Delta Force.

There's also the SBS and the SRR.  All the special forces members of the world are some exceptional people.  I'd love to have a percentage of their endurance, determination and know-how.  My view is that arguing over which is "better" is a bit silly.

Asmodean Prime

#10
Quote from: "Squid"
Quote from: "onlyme"Sean Connery.  Licenced to kill.  The epitome of English refinement.  

No mess, no fuss.  

Marines?  Navy Seals?

Listen.  There is no combat unit on the face of the earth like the SAS.

I've had the pleasure of meeting and talking with some ex-SAS guys.  One guy taught me and a friend how to reload a sidearm with one hand rather expediently.

The SAS was the model for Delta Force.

There's also the SBS and the SRR.  All the special forces members of the world are some exceptional people.  I'd love to have a percentage of their endurance, determination and know-how.  My view is that arguing over which is "better" is a bit silly.

Ah, you speak very wisely, squid.

All the special forces are exceptional people.  No doubt about that.  I just like to wind up my cousins from across the pond, if you know what I mean.  

What else is there to do at this time of night, except watch Australian and American soaps?

Asmodean Prime

#11
Bigmac, as regards your original post "why did you mug me"?

I mugged you because you were not watching your back, and aware as you should have been, because you were relying on your .357 magnum, as opposed to being aware of your environment, and what is going on around you at any given moment.  A .357 magnum is no use if it lets you down at the critical moment, is it?   You've only once to make the mistake, and that's the end for you.

Conceited?  Me?

Maybe by reading this post, you will realise that the battle is not always to the strong, nor the race to the swift.

Just trying to give you some pertinent and relevant advice, bro.

Your response will say a lot about you, or the situation you will probably end up in.

Big Mac

#12
Quote from: "onlyme"
Quote from: "Big Mac"Not entirely true. Where guns are available quite liberally and concealed carry is quite prolific, crime tends to not be as rampant. You have to take into consideration we also have places like New York, Cali, and D.C. where gun ownership is nearly impossible so only criminals have them. Not to mention there are about 4 or 5 times more Americans than English people.

I think the reason is because honest citizens aren't allowed to carry arms at all times like they should be. Don't blame the tool for the user's choices.

There are more people killed by car accidents than there are gun deaths. And cars aren't even designed to kill people, quite the opposite.

ah...there are approx 180 million Americans, compared to 60 million UK citizens, but I DID mention the 'per capita' ratio of gun crime.

More people killed by car accidents?  Well, you got me there.  I have no answer to that.  I must concede, as would any realistic, thinking person.  This is a topic that needs more study and honest debate, in my opinion.

Still, if it gets us on the thinking path, it's a good thing.

Uh try there are nearly 300 million Americans.

No debate, I have my gun, you don't like it, kiss my brown ass. This is the Land of the Free, not the Land of 1984 like your country lives in.

Like I said, we Americans will never be like you "enlightened" Europeans with your gun control and your softness towards criminals. By the way, who started up both World Wars? Europeans. Ah, I guess that really goes to show how useless you people are in being a "model" continent.

Oceania tis for thee.......

Onlyme, I didn't state I didn't notice you in the post, retard. I stated you popped out of nowhere because you people are little elves and will do that. I doubt you could sneak up on me. I wrote the book on being paranoid. Hell I have four guns laying around right now just out of pure boredom.
Quote from: "PoopShoot"And what if pigs shit candy?

Asmodean Prime

#13
Ha, ha, Bigmac, you stun me, you really do.

But after all, that is maybe what it's all about, is it not?

Keep up the good work, bro, and the vitriol.  I love to hear it.  And I love to respond to it. I firmly believe that half of what you say is relevant, and worthy of serious consideration, and half of it is utter ********, and worthy of (and designed to) provoke a measured, but humourous response, which maybe a lot of people would probably not understand anyway.

BTW...Maybe you need the four guns, if you think you are susceptible to being mugged by a Yorkshireman?

Big Mac

#14
Quote from: "onlyme"Ha, ha, Bigmac, you stun me, you really do.

But after all, that is maybe what it's all about, is it not?

Keep up the good work, bro, and the vitriol.  I love to hear it.  And I love to respond to it. I firmly believe that half of what you say is relevant, and worthy of serious consideration, and half of it is utter ********, and worthy of (and designed to) provoke a measured, but humourous response, which maybe a lot of people would probably not understand anyway.

BTW...Maybe you need the four guns, if you think you are susceptible to being mugged by a Yorkshireman?

No I just like having plenty of artillery laying around for quick access in my humble abode. No matter where I step in my house,  a gun is discreetly within reach.
Quote from: "PoopShoot"And what if pigs shit candy?