The Gift Thread 2017, Don't be stingy

[Dave]

Hmm, scenticles, eh? So are icicles for freezing your balls off?

[Magdalena]

I think a lumberjack would love these. 

[Bad Penny II]

The cryptic nature with which you post
My mind doth scratch itself
My eyes don't know whether to crinkle or cry
Methinks you must be high

Not high, sozzled if it's after 8pm my time.
I used to grow weed but they brought in a proceeds or crime law.
If you're growing two plants which by their measure have a potential street value of $2 million they can take your house away.
I grow beer now.
When I get my terminal liver disease diagnoses,
expect a legislator focused murderous spree.
Or at least a series of invective filled posts.