Author Topic: Things that make you chuckle  (Read 727 times)

Dave

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #45 on: October 05, 2017, 09:47:01 AM »
Have you been working out father?

Yeah, currently benching something like 500lbs in squash and pumpkins!

So this pumpkin, at 1910lbs, might be a bit much even for you then FrB?



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No one

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #46 on: October 05, 2017, 10:23:12 AM »
Not too sure that is a safe way to sit. The whole thing could collapse and squash her gourd.

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #47 on: October 05, 2017, 11:13:21 AM »
Have you been working out father?

Yeah, currently benching something like 500lbs in squash and pumpkins!

So this pumpkin, at 1910lbs, might be a bit much even for you then FrB?


Dave that is one helluva pumpkin, and yes it would be weigh too much for even my gorilla like arms 8)

Funny story. Years ago while I was working at another job, the Vice President of the company decided to plant some special pumpkin seeds he had bought which produce these giant sized pumpkins.

He had a couple young daughters at the time, and thought it would be fun to grow these pumpkins in his backyard. Well one of them grew too epic proportions, so big in fact that he was encourage to enter the pumpkin into the Michigan State Pumpkin Festival for largest pumpkin. He didn't really want to deal with the whole transportation of this enormous pumpkin, but his daughters were really, really excited about the idea that their pumpkin might win the contest so they bugged their daddy until he consented.

He owned a Ford Windstar at the time, and after careful measurement decided he could fit it into the back of the van. However, it was so fucking huge that he had to build a special ramp to push it up into the van. He paid a couple of the guys from our mechanic shop to help him with it... so one day they got to work on loading it into the van. They had to use another vehicle to first pull the damn thing out of the flower bed, and then drag it along the grass until they could position it in front of his van to be loaded. They used the other vehicle to push it up the ramp.

Apparently it took them over 4 hours or so to load the the thing...then the next day the three of them drove to the fairgrounds and deposited it on site for the contest. Once out of the van the fairgrounds had a forklift to move it so it was much easier to move around and position for the contest.

They came in 2nd place. I forget how heavy it was, but the thing was freaking huge. He had pictures of him and his girls who were ecstatic about the whole thing, along with the giant pumpkin framed on his desk. It was a really cute picture.

Now he had taken the pumpkin to the fairgrounds under the assumption that he could leave it there, and that the folks running the fair would later dispose of it, but he was wrong.

So he had to borrow the forklift and stuff the pumpkin back into the van. Now he was not an experience forklift operator at all, and of course by this time he didn't care if it got damaged or not so he was fairly rough shoving it back into the van and portions of the pumpkin broke and were gashed, especially the bottom of it which was kind of soft.

He took the van home with the pumpkin inside and parked it, and then left it sitting there for the week until his wife opened it up one day and discovered that the pumpkin was rotten and the entire van floor was awash in giant pumpkin guts.

So that weekend he asked the two guys from the shop to come back and help him clean it out, apparently it was quite a disgusting mess and they had to use shovels to scoop most of it out. It had also soaked into the carpet and made quite the mess they say.

Afterwards he had to rent a steam cleaner to clean the carpet, but according to him the smell of pumpkin never really left the van, and the carpet floor was forever discolored as well.

His wife was not too happy...the next year they didn't plant any pumpkins.

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #48 on: October 05, 2017, 02:54:10 PM »
 :lol: That worked; thanks, Father Bruno. I started laughing when I read "left it sitting there for the week." Rotten pumpkin stink isn't as horrendous as rotten potato, but it would get tiresome after a few weeks.
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Dave

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #49 on: October 06, 2017, 06:55:03 AM »
To settle an argument (I lost) with my neighbour we looked up the colours of the rainbow and mnenomics for them.

"Richard of York gave battle in vain" was the one I, dort of, remembered but, though I should not have, "Reports Of Young Girls Banging Inside Vatican" gave me a giggle. Memories of a smutty minded (so what's changed?) teenager learning the resistor colour code, "Bad boys rape our young girls but virgins grow wise."  Of course the slightly more refined substituted "ravish" but wtf . . .

Spoiler: show
« Last Edit: October 06, 2017, 07:06:04 AM by Dave »
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Father Bruno

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #50 on: October 12, 2017, 08:31:15 AM »
This made me chortle:)



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Dave

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #51 on: October 12, 2017, 09:05:58 AM »
^
Me too!   :lol:
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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #52 on: October 12, 2017, 12:38:06 PM »
Chortle? Isn't that some sort of special one of a kind Pokemon?

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #53 on: October 12, 2017, 01:45:26 PM »
Chortle? Isn't that some sort of special one of a kind Pokemon?

Surely you mean Wartortle? :notsure:

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There is a protein called pikachurin:

Quote
Pikachurin is an extracellular matrix-like retinal protein first described in 2008 in Japan by Shigeru Sato et al., and named after Pikachu, a character of the Pokémon franchise. The name of this "nimble" protein was inspired due to Pikachu's "lightning-fast moves and shocking electric effects".

I chuckled when I saw this, before coming to my senses and eye-rolling.

There is another called 'sonic hedgehog'. 
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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #54 on: October 13, 2017, 11:33:33 AM »
Chortle? Isn't that some sort of special one of a kind Pokemon?

No, chortle is when you sort of chuckle and snort at the same time...I guess it could be called a "Shnuckle, but they don't allow me to make up new words, so we are stuck with "chortle".



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Dave

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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #55 on: October 13, 2017, 12:17:09 PM »
Chortle? Isn't that some sort of special one of a kind Pokemon?

No, chortle is when you sort of chuckle and snort at the same time...I guess it could be called a "Shnuckle, but they don't allow me to make up new words, so we are stuck with "chortle".


Think I'll go for "snortle".
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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #56 on: October 16, 2017, 10:04:32 AM »
This one will defiantly make you snortel.



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Re: Things that make you chuckle
« Reply #57 on: October 17, 2017, 06:06:15 AM »
 :lol:
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