Sapiosexual?

[Velma]

In my case a wicked sense of humor and a sharp intellect is a bigger turn-on than stylish clothes or good looks.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/02/nyregion/the-hottest-body-part-for-a-sapiosexual-its-the-brain.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur

Do you think this is this a real attraction worthy of its own catagory or is it snobbery?

[Arturo]

Sure but I don't think the word "sexual" needs to follow everything. And not everyone has a fetish. I think the term "turn on" is good enough. Or some other variant like "aroused". And some more aggressive ones like "hard" or "wet".

[Tank]

It is real. 

[Velma]

It is real to me also. I was attracted to the man who became my husband based solely on his forum posts (on a now defunct forum), long before I saw a picture of him. Truthfully, my husband looks more like an old biker than someone with a masters in history who can have an in-depth conversation on both the theory of panspermia and the possible effects of the Revelio spell (from Harry Potter) on someone who isn't magically disguised, in the same week.

Looking back, the only common denominator in my attraction to men I've found attractive has been intelligence and a sense of humor, not looks. Not that I don't enjoy looks. However, if the only thing coming out of your mouth is stupidity, all the looks in the world aren't going to make you attractive to me.

[Icarus]

Bless you and your enviable grip on practical reality Velma.

[Dave]

Whether or not it is an "orientation" or, as the prof suggested in the srticle, an "identity" makes little difference I think. It certainly must be one of the elements that makes us homo sapiens, in this matter definitely homo sapiens sapiens! I very much doubt that any other other "great ape" is going to say, "I am attracted by your mind" to his intended.

I have a very, very good friend. I find her physically attractive and appreciate her practical intelligence and practical abilities. Her main "lack" is intellect - for over two decades the conversation has rotated around the same, rather limitted and very subjective, subjects. Despite my gentle attempts to include other things. She is capable of stretching her mind but never felt the need, each day's challenges and the needs of her little dog are enough to occupy her mind fully.

I could never live with her, that vital "something" is missing. Apart from that she is still very much in love with the memory of her late husband and I could never challenge that.

Yeah, it's real as part of the attraction net, intellect must be a component for any truly sapient person IMO. But, there can be "degrees" of sapience, intellect, maybe? It is the match that counts, the shape on the two halves of the dove-tail rather than their mutual size, if they fit well the joint is more solid, secure.

[Magdalena]

Sapiosexual? "...the term generally describes people for whom sexual attraction is based on intellect..."

I don't think I like this.

No Sapiosexual is gonna want to pair up or even mate with me. 

[Claireliontamer]

I don't know if this needs a specific label, isn't it really saying you have to have compatible personalities for love to last.  Relationships based on looks alone are always going to fade but if you connect mentally  then it may last.  For some people that is a shared intelligence but for other couples it may be a shared interest in Viking reenactments, whatever floats both of your boats!

[Arturo]

Sapiosexual? "...the term generally describes people for whom sexual attraction is based on intellect..."

I don't think I like this.

No Sapiosexual is gonna want to pair up or even mate with me. 

No but maybe you like someone for their intellect and they are attracted to you because of your emotional tastes.

[Dave]

Sapiosexual? "...the term generally describes people for whom sexual attraction is based on intellect..."

I don't think I like this.

No Sapiosexual is gonna want to pair up or even mate with me. 

Mags, "saposexuals" are going to be people on a spectrum, just like all of us. Someone, somewhere is looking for a match at theur level.

Don't sell yourself short, the mere fact that you are here shows that you have taste and attraction to and from us sensible proples!

[xSilverPhinx]

Ah, yes. I like brains so much that I want to study them for the rest of my life.

Seriously though, I think that someone from whom I can learn and have a stimulating conversation on all sorts of topics is definitely desirable, however, I think intelligence paired with humility is important. I'd imagine a genius that goes around bragging to others about his or her brilliance would be absolutely insufferable, even if they are clearly very intelligent.

I don't know if this needs a specific label, isn't it really saying you have to have compatible personalities for love to last.  Relationships based on looks alone are always going to fade but if you connect mentally  then it may last.  For some people that is a shared intelligence but for other couples it may be a shared interest in Viking reenactments, whatever floats both of your boats!

I agree with this. Opposites may attract (for some people) but compatibility is essential for a long lasting relationship (love relationships, friendship, etc.). I'm reminded of someone I know who was dating an older, more intellectually-inclined man than her and he would belittle her constantly, calling her "an immature child". Thankfully for her she broke it off and is much happier for it.

[xSilverPhinx]

Sapiosexual? "...the term generally describes people for whom sexual attraction is based on intellect..."

I don't think I like this.

No Sapiosexual is gonna want to pair up or even mate with me. 

Why do you say that?    You're an intelligent person and you have a great sense of humour.

[Magdalena]

I do find intelligent people "attractive" but not "sexually attractive."--Hell no!
How can one go from this:
~"Let me tell you about the war of 1812...
...At the outset of the 19th century, Great Britain was locked in a long and bitter conflict with Napoleon Bonaparte's France. In an attempt to cut off supplies from reaching the enemy, both sides attempted to block the United States from trading with the..."

...To this!? 

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

I just don't see the connection. If I were extremely intelligent, I don't see how someone would be "turned on" by all the historical facts that I am giving them. I think I would find it strange.

I need to feel the pheromones and testosterone. If that "magic" is not there, it will not work. I'm lucky to have been able to keep those chemicals going for 15 years with my man. We have "intelligent" conversations everyday as well, but we're not Sapiosexuals. 

[xSilverPhinx]

Well I think a distinction can be made between 'knowledgeable' and 'intelligent'. The two often overlap but they're not one and the same. Someone can be intelligent without having access to higher education where they learn facts and figures and you can have someone who's like a walking encyclopedia who isn't necessarily intelligent.

Problem solving skills, creativity, lateral thinking... I like to see that kind of thing in action.  

...At the outset of the 19th century, Great Britain was locked in a long and bitter conflict with Napoleon Bonaparte's France. In an attempt to cut off supplies from reaching the enemy, both sides attempted to block the United States from trading with the..."

No, no, no, no.  That's sounds too much like a wiki entry to be sexy.

If that were sexy then some people might have feel passionate love for their textbooks. Maybe there are some that do, there is no shortage of strange things in the world.

[Magdalena]

... Maybe there are some that do, there is no shortage of strange things in the world.

True.