Happy Atheist Forum

Religion => Creationism/Intelligent Design => Topic started by: normawesjean on January 11, 2012, 11:34:44 PM

Title: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: normawesjean on January 11, 2012, 11:34:44 PM
Please keep in mind I was a hardcore atheist for the last 2 years of my life before you read my experience that happened Dec. 22nd of 2011. I posted this on Facebook, so I'm gonna copy and paste it here.

"So before this some of you probably knew me as the guy who never seemed to be happy and the guy who sorta hated God. I went to church all throughout Junior High and High School. I took it serious at first, but I started to let church turn into a social event more than a place of fellowship. I shortly fell off after I graduated. I started working and quit going to church. I started to question a lot about God, and I basically turned into a theist, I didn't really believe in the bible God, I believed that we have a creator and he just left us with no rules or anything, he just left us to survive. I can honestly say I wasn't happy; in fact, I hated life because without a purpose (which God gives us) I felt like my life was absolutely pointless. I just worked and went to school and I hated it so much. I grew so envy of people that looked happy. I would spend hours on Facebook going through random people's pages I don't even know. I would look at their life and their pictures and I would see people looking so happy, and I would always try to figure out why they look so happy. I noticed they all drank alcohol, smoked weed, partied, and did other things. I never got hardcore into any of that stuff, I tried partying, I tried drinking, I tried smoking, and I tried living that lustful lifestyle that so many people live now days. At the end of day, it never made me happy, IT NEVER MADE HAPPY! I was starting to believe I'm never going to be happy; I'm never going to feel content in life. I had this void, this emptiness in my body that needed to be filled with joy and happiness. At this time was pretty much an Atheist, but I honestly felt like my body had this huge desire to be happy, like it was a part of who I was, I just had this HUGE drive to find happiness, and I never found it. I honestly thought since all these people doing the things I mentioned above looked so happy, I thought it would make me happy, and it didn't. I thought I was a lost cause and happiness for me; it didn't exist and never will. I started to grow so much hatred for people, I'm not exaggerating when I say this, I probably had the hardest heart of anyone out there; I had so much hate towards people and everything because I can't be happy and everyone else can. Like my body had this disease where I can't be happy, I wasn't depressed, but I never felt satisfied in anything I did. I was honestly considering going to a therapist and asking what's wrong with me. I know they were just going to give me some pills and that would make everything better. I didn't want that, I didn't want to rely on a pill to make me happy, when I should be happy to begin with. I never thought of suicide because I thought suicide was a pansy way out of life, but I would always say "When I go to bed, I just wish I would never wake up." I tried weed two times before my experience I'm about to mention and all I got from it was it made me feel hungry.





So I was hanging out with my buddy and he smokes a lot of weed. I was always against weed, but since EVERYONE today smokes it and it comes from the ground, I figured I would smoke it again (after I went through my phase of trying to find happiness in drinking, smoking etc....I decided to go straightedge) When I went to smoke it, I wasn't afraid to smoke it at all, I was actually really excited to smoke it, because I was expecting to get happy and just have fun. Well I smoked it and I didn't get anything for like 20 mins. Eventually I started to get a feeling. I felt giggly, and I remember my buddy asking me what's so funny and I didn't know. I wouldn't say I was happy, I was just laughing and my vision was being weird. Nothing really crazy at all, then out of nowhere, and I mean nowhere, this sense of fear and dread came over me. I couldn't really move my body, all I could think of was asking questions to myself. Now this is going to sound super weird, but I would ask questions and the questions came out of my head in the forms of lines in like a split of reality. The best way I can describe this is the funnel thing in Donnie Darko that comes out of him. It was like that, but much smaller. These questions I asked came out as lines like that, and it would hit an object, and the object would bounce a question back to me. I know that sounds super weird, but that's what happened. Every single question led to "why am I here right now" not in a sense of why am I here in life, but as in why am I here right now in this shed smoking weed with this guy? I would keep repeating this question over and over again to myself. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop asking this question/getting asked this question. There wasn't a definite answer either; it was just the same question getting asked over and over again. I told my buddy I can't stop asking questions and I want to stop. He told me I needed to go bed, so we walked up stairs and I tried to go to sleep in his bed. I couldn't close my eyes to save my life and I couldn't stop asking questions to myself. While I was in his bed, my mind started to think about suicide, like of out nowhere, I just started to think of about slitting my wrist, which is something I never think about doing, because like I said, I thought that stuff was a pansy thing to do and I would rather shoot myself to commit suicide than slit my wrist. I could not stop thinking about slitting my wrist, and I felt like I had absolutely no control over myself, like I wasn't myself and I had no control over my body. I yelled at my buddy I can't stop thinking of suicide and I want this to stop. I swear on my life the person next to me who was my buddy said this to me. "I know, it happens when you have bad trip. You need to slit your wrist to get out of this" I thought that was insane that he would say that, and I asked him if he ever had a bad trip, and he said yes. I asked how he got out of it, and he told me he slit his wrist to get out of it. I know my buddy would never tell me to slit my wrist, and I know he never slit his wrist on a bad trip, so at that moment I knew something wasn't right, and I knew I wasn't so high that this person next to me isn't just saying things, especially not the things that he is saying because weed doesn't do that and probably any drug won't do that you. I started freaking out, and at that time, time froze, and I swear it froze. I couldn't move, all I could do was thinking and see and move my eyes. I'm going to try my best to explain this, but my vision was way off. Like I said, I couldn't move my body, and my buddy was frozen and everything around me stopped, but I could think and my eyes could move. Picture this if you can, I would move my eyes to the right, but my vision would stay in the left, and then very very slowly move to the right, even though my eyes were in the right to begin with. I started to only think of why I'm here again. Everything led to "you are here because you fell into the devil's trap" What seemed liked forever I was asking "why am I here" and everything always led to "you are here because you fell into the devil's trap" I could start thinking more openly, like I was asking myself why is the devil even getting mentioned when I don't even believe in him/never even think about him? Everything I asked always led you the same answer "you are here because you fell into the devil's trap." I could not escape this question/answer. Eventually I started thinking well maybe I died and went to hell. It makes sense because time is frozen, and I can't stop thinking about this question/answer. I started scared because I was like "why I would I go to hell, I lived a good life?" I wasn't into drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, murder, all the things I thought would be considered sin. I started asking that question as to why I might be in hell, and everything led to I disobeyed my parents because they told me not to hang out with this guy who got me in contact with the guy I'm smoking weed with now, like they said "we don't have a lot of rules for you, but don't hang out with this guy, promise us that!" Everything kept going back to it was a sin disobeying my parents for hanging out this guy's friend, who is into hardcore drugs. At that moment, I started to realize to "Wow, so God is real, and I'm in hell because I disobeyed my parents?" I started to remember one of the Ten Commandments "Honor your father and mother". Everything kept leading to me breaking that sin. I kept thinking so God is real and if I can think about God, then I might not be in hell. So I started thinking more about God and things started to get peaceful, and that hellish place went away. Just as soon as things started to get really peaceful, hell popped back into mind and things started thinking more about hell, and I'm hell because I disobeyed my parents which is the first commandment. Everything kept leading to I'm in hell, and the devil is truly real. I started to think about the devil really wanted to kill me, and God this whole time offered a way out of this. I kept thinking of that over and over again, it wasn't a good feeling, and it wasn't a bad feeling. Eventually since I couldn't get that out of my head, I started to think I'm stuck in purgatory because I'm realizing the devil and God are both real, but I feel pretty content right now, that fearfulness of being in hell went away, I was at a moment where I was very content. I could actually start to move again and time wasn't frozen anymore. I remember seeing my buddy was still by my side on the other bed, and I told him I can't stop thinking about the devil and God, and it's not good or bad, like I'm stuck in this place where I know the devil is real and God is real, and that's it, nothing else. He told me to just go sleep because I was having a horrible trip. I was so content, I just laid down and I closed my eyes. When I closed my eyes I started thinking about time, and how time is never ending. I felt like my mind, my thought process was in the moment of the devil is real and God is real and I'm never going to leave this, so time is never ending. I started thinking about time, how it's always been and always will be. I started thinking about God, and how God was there when time began, and I just kept thinking to myself time is never ending, time has always been and time will always be, there is absolutely no end to time. I started telling my buddy how time has always been, and how time will always be. I kept repeating that phrase over and again, it kept getting faster every time I repeated it. I kept getting faster and faster and I was so speaking so fast that my words were probably going to speed the light, no joke. If a doctor or someone in the medical field was there when I was saying this over and over again, they would probably write down I was fastest talking person ever I was saying "time is never ending, time has always been and time will always be" so fast over and over again. I was shaking my legs too, so I probably looked like an absolute crazy person talking at the speed at light about how time is never ending, time has always been and time will always be while shaking my legs sitting on this bed. When I started shaking my legs, (now you are going to call me crazy) I felt my spirit leave my body and I felt like I was being held up by someone and I had wings. This person who was Jesus, told me that I have been revealed things only a select few people have been revealed and He told me because of Him, I had a second chance at life. He told me God loves me so much that He sent Himself to die on the cross for me. He told me He paid for my sin and everyone's sin, and by going through Him and giving my life to Him, I can have ever lasting life in Heaven. He started poking at me in a way being sarcastic with me and not condemning. He was like "you know the right way, but yet you chose to wrong way, it doesn't satisfy that void in your heart you are searching for, why do you this Weston?" I was crying so hard, my buddy was there to witness for me talking to this person who I was seeing in front of me. (so my buddy saw me screaming and crying at this person who he couldn't see in front of me). I was screaming so loud and crying so hard at this person in front of me, His presence was filled with peace, joy, everything right in life, everything my body longed for, everything I have been searching for. It was the best feeling ever. The best way to describe it, it felt right, and it felt like I was at home (which is Heaven). He left and I got this pounding feeling I needed to be with my parents right now.





I walked home (luckily I was only a few mins from my house), and when I got home my parents weren't home, so I called my girlfriend. I remember calling her, but I don't remember talking to her. She told me when I called she didn't think it was me, I told her things I have been hiding from her, which I NEVER wanted her to know, and I would never tell her. I told her I needed to treat her better and we need to work together to live a life for God. Like I said, I don't remember doing this, but she said I did, and I don't know why she would make that up, so I know it happened. As soon as I got off the phone with her, my parents got home and I remember I ran to them telling them the devil and God are real and we all need to live our life for God and Jesus, and that Jesus revealed Himself to me and gave me a second chance. They asked if I wanted to pray, so I prayed with them. Now this is going to sound weird, but when I was talking to my parents, it wasn't them talking, it was their voice, but the things they were saying/mentioning was things they would not mention. The pace in their voice wasn't the same either; my only explanation for this was God was talking through them. They said, "So Wes, why did you did smoke weed?" They weren't condemning, it was asked in a curious way. I told them because I want to be happy, and everyone I see smoking weed seems to be happy and content with life, and all I wanted was happiness. They asked "well how did it make you feel?" Trust me, they would not ask me these questions, so I know God was talking through them. I told them I didn't satisfy that need I had. They said you experienced Heaven and Hell right? (They didn't know this at the time that I experienced Heaven and Hell, so I know it was God based on that question they asked) I told them yes, and they said so you realize there are two sides right? I told them yea, and the Heaven side was the side my body longed for, the Hell side was a never ending feeling of hopelessness, not evil, just hopelessness and I hated it. They asked to pray, and so I put my head in the couch, and started to pray. I closed my eyes and I heard this voice in my head. I knew it was God, because I felt that warm peaceful feeling again and I felt like I was floating again and I was being grasped by someone warm full of peace. They said you ask a lot of questions, do you ever wonder why? I told them yes, all the time. He said because I have a desire in my heart to understand things and how things work. He told me He knows I always think I'm mentally ill and getting on pills would solve my problems, but He said He made my mind the way it is for great reasons, reason I can't even understand right now, and everything will come together in the end, He promised. He said my desires in life can't be met with alcohol, drugs, and sex, and there is reason for that. He told me He is the only thing that will make me feel what I want to feel, what I spent the whole last 2 years searching for, and He was right. He said told me there is a reason why I question things like I do, and it's not wrong and there is nothing wrong with me. He said my life is going to be full of greatness, and my life so far is just the tip of the ice burg of what will happen in the future. He asked me why I liked my girlfriend? I told him I don't know, I just do. He asked if it's because there are things about her that just click with me that I find attractive? I told him yea, like her humor and personality, and He said there is a reason we met and why I find things about her I never found in any other girl, no matter how hard I searched. He told me that together we are meant for great things in the future and I needed to treat her and my parents better than I have been. He was so right because I treated her so bad, and my parents even worse. I told Him I promised I would treat them better and I asked if there was anything else I need to work on. He said I needed to quit lusting for things, and coveting things that people have, and He was so right about that, lusting/coveting things was a huge part of my life, and it was slowly destroying me. He told me I was special to Him and my family is very special to Him. He told me He showed me the two sides, the good and the bad, and He gave me a second chance and revealed to me things He has revealed to only a select few. At this time I was looking at my dog and He told me my eyes were blinded by sin and He opened them back so I can see the truth. That statement brought me to tears because I was looking at my dog who was deemed blind about 3 years ago, but after my mom prayed for him, he got his sight back, and the doctors said it was miracle. When that happened to my dog, at the time, I just said it was merely a coincidence but now I realize it happened for a reason and that reason was for me at the this time. I remember saying "Wow, everything happens for a reason and God is always behind that reason, whether good or bad." He told me He was walking right beside me when I was walking home, and He has always been walking with me and will walk with me till the end of my life. After that I prayed with my parents (keep in mind this whole time, my body felt so unnatural and my vision wasn't right either) and after the prayer, I got pounded with I needed to call my girlfriend and my buddy of mine from my old church. After I thought of doing that, my vision went back to normal and my body felt normal again. I knew it was God, because there is no way all of this happened because of the drug, and it ended as soon as the prayer is over, no way that's just a coincidence.





I know that was long and some of you are probably calling me crazy if you read it all, and saying it was just a very rare bad trip I had, but I'm saying I know it was God. He loved me so much He came down and revealed Himself to me in a way I could know it was Him, the only way I would ever start believing in Him again. The only way I could over get over my hardened heart, and God did it. I feel so changed, I felt brand new. My mind always felt like it was knots and I always felt so overburdened. Ever since I gave my life to Lord, I don't have that void anymore, that void that I'm pretty sure everyone who is reading this probably has if they don't know the Lord. I know that feeling, it's horrible, you try to fill it with sex, drugs, drinking, smoking, being abusive, being mean, I know that feeling. I was filled with lust trying to fill that void, and I was so mean to people, so mean to people, anyone reading this I was mean to, I'm truly sorry and I deserve that Hell I experienced because I was mean to you. I have honestly felt more outgoing to be nice to people, and my sinful desires are still there, the things I struggle with are still there, but they aren't being thrown at me like they once were, so I know God intervened in things.

Also I would like to address this situation that just happened to me. Last night as I was questioning this experience that maybe it wasn't God, and maybe it was just the drug, I asked God to give me 1 more sign so I can know if it really was Him and quit doubting. I'm not kidding, exactly 3 minutes after I prayed that, my buddy Tyler who I haven't heard from in a year called me. Tyler was a very hardcore atheist, he believed science was the answer to everything, and both him and I thought he would never give into the idea of there being a higher power or God. He called me and told me that for the past month a lot of positive situations have been happening in his life and the only logical explanation besides pure coincidence was that fact that maybe God was in the middle of it. He said he didn't want to believe it, but he says it's a very possible explanation. He then told me he read my blog and after that he questioned everything and started to believe that maybe God is real. He also told me that his buddy who was recently on drugs lashed out one day because he couldn't get high and for the first time in his life, he felt the presence and believed that evil really existed, and he couldn't explain it. I thought this 2 hour conversation I had with him over the phone was crazy because like I said, I haven't heard from this guy in over a year, he is one of the most straight forward atheist out there, he constantly reads books and atheist and has told me he has conformed many people to atheism. I just think it's weird when I have all this doubt in my head, and I ask God to give me 1 more sign so I know it was really Him and not the drugs, that Tyler calls me 3 minutes later telling me that he is actually starting to believe in a God and that God might be the only answer he needs to get that satisfaction in my life I was looking for that he also has a hard time getting.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Stevil on January 11, 2012, 11:44:40 PM
Do you know which god contacted you?
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Whitney on January 11, 2012, 11:47:40 PM
Ok, I honestly didn't read all of that...stopped at the part where smoking weed lead to an internal dialogue...the weed was laced with something like LCD or whatever (someone who actually knows about psychedelics may be able to tell you what it probably was).
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on January 12, 2012, 12:00:40 AM
Errr...welcome?

Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Crow on January 12, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
Quote from: Whitney on January 11, 2012, 11:47:40 PM
Ok, I honestly didn't read all of that...stopped at the part where smoking weed lead to an internal dialogue...the weed was laced with something like LCD or whatever (someone who actually knows about psychedelics may be able to tell you what it probably was).

So did I. If the general gist of the story is about an experience from LSD then the author of the post my want to look into the research done on hallucinogenics and its effect on the temporal lobes, this is also the same area of the brain that is affected with certain kinds of epilepsy (temporal lobe epilepsy to be precise) which can result in the sufferers thinking they have had a dialogue with a god or see the future (sometimes both) as well as many other unusual "visions".
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 12:18:46 AM
Quote from: normawesjean on January 11, 2012, 11:34:44 PM
Please keep in mind I was a hardcore atheist for the last 2 years of my life before you read my experience that happened Dec. 22nd of 2011. I posted this on Facebook, so I'm gonna copy and paste it here.
Opening statements like that usually indicate bullshit. If you were a "hardcore atheist", your mind would not even jump to the divine when attempting to explain something.

Quote"So before this some of you probably knew me as the guy who never seemed to be happy and the guy who sorta hated God. I went to church all throughout Junior High and High School. I took it serious at first, but I started to let church turn into a social event more than a place of fellowship. I shortly fell off after I graduated. I started working and quit going to church. I started to question a lot about God, and I basically turned into a theist, I didn't really believe in the bible God, I believed that we have a creator and he just left us with no rules or anything, he just left us to survive. I can honestly say I wasn't happy; in fact, I hated life because without a purpose (which God gives us) I felt like my life was absolutely pointless.
Awww! Poor little you! "Hardcore atheist"... Yeah, right! That group of people do not derive their happiness from gods or even the possibility thereof.

QuoteI just worked and went to school and I hated it so much. I grew so envy of people that looked happy. I would spend hours on Facebook going through random people's pages I don't even know. I would look at their life and their pictures and I would see people looking so happy, and I would always try to figure out why they look so happy. I noticed they all drank alcohol, smoked weed, partied, and did other things. I never got hardcore into any of that stuff, I tried partying, I tried drinking, I tried smoking, and I tried living that lustful lifestyle that so many people live now days. At the end of day, it never made me happy, IT NEVER MADE HAPPY!
Have you tried antidepressants? Or doing a job you found rewarding?

QuoteI was starting to believe I'm never going to be happy; I'm never going to feel content in life. I had this void, this emptiness in my body that needed to be filled with joy and happiness. At this time was pretty much an Atheist, but I honestly felt like my body had this huge desire to be happy, like it was a part of who I was, I just had this HUGE drive to find happiness, and I never found it.
Are you sure you weren't just "looking for that first high", as a street junkie would put it? Because that's what it sounds like to me. Peak happiness is a dynamic state.

QuoteWall of text continues - big part of a textbook definition of depression - not depressed
Sounds like you were.

QuoteI was honestly considering going to a therapist and asking what's wrong with me.
You should have visited a psychiatrist.

QuoteI know they were just going to give me some pills and that would make everything better. I didn't want that, I didn't want to rely on a pill to make me happy, when I should be happy to begin with.
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

QuoteI never thought of suicide because I thought suicide was a pansy way out of life, but I would always say "When I go to bed, I just wish I would never wake up."
That's suicidal thinking right there...

Quoteand all I got from it was it made me feel hungry.
...And depressive thinking there.


QuoteSo I was hanging out with my buddy and he smokes a lot of weed. I was always against weed, but since EVERYONE today smokes it and it comes from the ground, I figured I would smoke it again (after I went through my phase of trying to find happiness in drinking, smoking etc....I decided to go straightedge) When I went to smoke it, I wasn't afraid to smoke it at all, I was actually really excited to smoke it, because I was expecting to get happy and just have fun. Well I smoked it and I didn't get anything for like 20 mins.
Not an expert on narcotics, but is mary-jay not a depressant? Alcohol too, btw?

QuoteEventually I started to get a feeling. I felt giggly, and I remember my buddy asking me what's so funny and I didn't know. I wouldn't say I was happy, I was just laughing and my vision was being weird. Nothing really crazy at all, then out of nowhere, and I mean nowhere, this sense of fear and dread came over me. I couldn't really move my body, all I could think of was asking questions to myself. Now this is going to sound super weird, but I would ask questions and the questions came out of my head in the forms of lines in like a split of reality. The best way I can describe this is the funnel thing in Donnie Darko that comes out of him. It was like that, but much smaller. These questions I asked came out as lines like that, and it would hit an object, and the object would bounce a question back to me. I know that sounds super weird, but that's what happened.
Yes. You were high. I got that LONG before you chose to end this segment of The Wall of Text. Moving on...

QuoteAnother Brick in the Wall
Comfortably numb.

Quote"Wow, so God is real, and I'm in hell because I disobeyed my parents?"
Parents SUCK, yes? That would be the next valid logical conclusion in that line of thinking, no? And then you grab the fire axe and go on a killing spree.

QuoteI started to remember one of the Ten Commandments "Honor your father and mother".
...Even if one is a worthless, abusive drunk and the other a crack whore.

QuoteAnother bricks in the wall -  (now you are going to call me crazy) - the wall goes on and on and on
OR I might just call you an off-your-meds stoner. However, I won't, because that would not be quite within the forum rulebook.

See what I did there?  ;D

QuoteHuge wall of text - no way that's just a coincidence.
Depends. It may or may not be, but you may be looking to the wrong causes.

QuoteI know that was long and some of you are probably calling me crazy if you read it all, and saying it was just a very rare bad trip I had, but I'm saying I know it was God.
...And you were calling yourself a "hardcore atheist"..? Pathetic!

Most of us know enough not to know a personal experience to be real on a larger scale than our own brains.

QuoteWall-E
And now you are here to preach to us, under the pretence of wanting a question answered? I'd call you a troll, but for the abovementioned reasons, I won't do that either.

Oops, I did it again!  ;D

QuoteTyler was a very hardcore atheist, he believed science was the answer to everything
How were you EVER atheist?  ::)

Science is not the answer to everything - science is a tool we use to answer certain kinds of questions - usually those where the answer is of some importance and/or degree of objectivity.


There. You were high, you had a subjective experience and you should really try them pills. That sums it up nicely, I think.

EDIT: Inserted a few Cs because the C on this laptop works like an old Citroën - when and if it wants.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Siz on January 12, 2012, 12:32:32 AM
Quote from: Whitney on January 11, 2012, 11:47:40 PM
Ok, I honestly didn't read all of that...stopped at the part where smoking weed lead to an internal dialogue...the weed was laced with something like LCD or whatever (someone who actually knows about psychedelics may be able to tell you what it probably was).

Yep, some good strong weed you got there - and very trippy stuff too. The symptoms you describe are textbook and reminded me of my college days (thanks for bringing a smile to my face).

I've heard this story before. One of my mates even saw the devil himself (he ended up in a psychiatric ward). But most of us were able to enjoy our pseudo-spiritual experience and accept it as a fun diversion from reality.

But you've gotta question the the timing of your 'vision' coinciding with a toke on a brilliantly potent spliff.

In any case it doesn't really matter that I believe you just had a typically spiritual trip and were simply experiencing an unfamiliar mind state. If you found happiness then I say go with it. You wouldn't be the first to find god this way (have a chat to Ecurb Noselrub on this forum). Who are we to tell you you've got it wrong...?

Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on January 12, 2012, 12:36:42 AM
Holy tl;dr, Batman!
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 12:45:01 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Crow on January 12, 2012, 12:56:59 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 12:45:01 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw

oo I like this game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVf5Cr4M-F8
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Gawen on January 12, 2012, 01:00:47 AM
Quote from: normawesjean on January 11, 2012, 11:34:44 PM
Please keep in mind I was a hardcore atheist for the last 2 years of my life before you read my experience that happened Dec. 22nd of 2011. I posted this on Facebook, so I'm gonna copy and paste it here.

"So before this some of you probably knew me as the guy who never seemed to be happy and the guy who sorta hated God.
Atheists don't hate god/s.

QuoteI went to church all throughout Junior High and High School. I took it serious at first, but I started to let church turn into a social event more than a place of fellowship. I shortly fell off after I graduated. I started working and quit going to church. I started to question a lot about God, and I basically turned into a theist, I didn't really believe in the bible God, I believed that we have a creator and he just left us with no rules or anything, he just left us to survive.
That would be a "deist".

QuoteI can honestly say I wasn't happy; in fact, I hated life because without a purpose (which God gives us) I felt like my life was absolutely pointless.
Contradiction.

QuoteI just worked and went to school and I hated it so much.
Amazing that you hated it so much. If god told you to get a job, would you have been happier and liked it?

QuoteI grew so envy of people that looked happy. I would spend hours on Facebook going through random people's pages I don't even know.
Sounds to me as if you need to get out more often. On top of that, examining strangers FB pages is creepy.

QuoteI would look at their life and their pictures and I would see people looking so happy, and I would always try to figure out why they look so happy.
Despite your following comments, did you ever think that these people were sometimes unhappy? Maybe got a hood photo on a good day?

QuoteI noticed they all drank alcohol, smoked weed, partied, and did other things.
All of them?

QuoteI never got hardcore into any of that stuff, I tried partying, I tried drinking, I tried smoking, and I tried living that lustful lifestyle that so many people live now days.
But because god didn't endorse it you were unhappy...

QuoteAt the end of day, it never made me happy, IT NEVER MADE HAPPY!
Ah.....I got part of it right.
Quote
I was starting to believe I'm never going to be happy; I'm never going to feel content in life. I had this void, this emptiness in my body that needed to be filled with joy and happiness. At this time was pretty much an Atheist, but I honestly felt like my body had this huge desire to be happy, like it was a part of who I was, I just had this HUGE drive to find happiness, and I never found it.
I submit you were never an atheist.

QuoteI honestly thought since all these people doing the things I mentioned above looked so happy, I thought it would make me happy, and it didn't.
If they all jumped off a cliff....

QuoteI thought I was a lost cause and happiness for me; it didn't exist and never will. I started to grow so much hatred for people, I'm not exaggerating when I say this, I probably had the hardest heart of anyone out there; I had so much hate towards people and everything because I can't be happy and everyone else can.
Who says everyone IS and MUST be happy?

QuoteLike my body had this disease where I can't be happy, I wasn't depressed, but I never felt satisfied in anything I did. I was honestly considering going to a therapist and asking what's wrong with me. I know they were just going to give me some pills and that would make everything better. I didn't want that, I didn't want to rely on a pill to make me happy, when I should be happy to begin with.
Therapy is not just pills. You dismissed out of hand people who are able to help you because of a false assumption.

QuoteSo I was hanging out with my buddy and he smokes a lot of weed. I was always against weed, but since EVERYONE today smokes it
Another false assumption. I know and work with about a dozen people that do not do drugs of any sort.

Quoteand it comes from the ground,
So does caffeine, in a sense, but not everyone ingests caffeine.

QuoteI figured I would smoke it again......{huge snip}

QuoteAt that moment, I started to realize to "Wow, so God is real, and I'm in hell because I disobeyed my parents?"
Really? You were really in Hell? And God is real...all because whatever is was you smoked totally destroyed your reasoning and critical thinking capability?

QuoteI started to remember one of the Ten Commandments "Honor your father and mother". Everything kept leading to me breaking that sin.
Ahhh...so a rule developed for ancient Hebrews is a sin for you? Were you a Jew when you were a so-called atheist?

QuoteI kept thinking so God is real and if I can think about God, then I might not be in hell. {another big snip}
Drug induced hallucination proves god....

QuoteWhen I closed my eyes...{another huge snip}
Did you ever stop to think that God was the one that had you smoke that and put the visions in your head?


QuoteThey asked "well how did it make you feel?" Trust me, they would not ask me these questions, so I know God was talking through them.
Really? God is a ventriloquist? God can suspend the laws of physics to alter your parents so that he can speak to you through them? Why didn't god just frakin show up in front of you and talk to you?

{massive snip}

Your story is somewhat incredulous...for me at least. The title of your thread asks a good question. The same question can be asked:
Can anyone explain how it wasn't Earth spirits in American Indian drug induced experiences they had AND why the One True God never spoke to them in the first place?
Can anyone explain how it wasn't Allah in Muslim experiences Muslims had? Blah blah blah?
Can anyone explain why god doesn't talk to some some Christians anymore and they turn to Buddhism?

Can anyone explain why someone (you) who believes in god, becomes unhappy, hates people because they are happy and becomes an atheist because she is angry at god?
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on January 12, 2012, 01:11:14 AM
Just one question, if you're so convinced that you had a genuine religious experience and found happiness in that, why are you asking us? Your post didn't come off as preachy, so I wonder. Do you want someone to disprove it to you?
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 01:14:21 AM
Quote from: Crow on January 12, 2012, 12:56:59 AM
oo I like this game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVf5Cr4M-F8
;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6cVmx5bOaU
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Crow on January 12, 2012, 01:26:06 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 01:14:21 AM
;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6cVmx5bOaU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fwz9JPVUKb8
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 01:30:23 AM
Quote from: Crow on January 12, 2012, 01:26:06 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fwz9JPVUKb8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akvu1AOnUIw (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.createblog.com%2Fforums%2Fstyle_emoticons%2Fdefault%2Fnod.gif&hash=a1cff5505588bed87b8abfb6f4b98cfdd1b8a0ab)
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: hismikeness on January 12, 2012, 01:46:10 AM
Is there a setting where I can turn on the videos to show up in the thread instead of a hyperlink? Or is that a software limitation?
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Ali on January 12, 2012, 01:47:56 AM
Assuming this is sincere - my opinion is that you're still looking for something to fill that void you have inside you, only now instead of drugs or alcohol, it's god, and a god that you "encountered" during a very bad trip.  My advice for filling the void - understand that happiness is not something that can be acquired.  It's a choice that you make regardless of your circumstances.  Some people have everything and still choose to be miserable, and some have very little and still choose to be happy.  
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 01:51:16 AM
Quote from: hismikeness on January 12, 2012, 01:46:10 AM
Is there a setting where I can turn on the videos to show up in the thread instead of a hyperlink? Or is that a software limitation?
Software limitation. Needs a plugin for that.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Sandra Craft on January 12, 2012, 02:39:07 AM
You know, when I saw the title of this thread I promised myself pizza for lunch tomorrow if I could answer the question before I read the post.  I now get to have pizza tomorrow.

Let's start with the fact that it's impossible to prove a negative -- that's not an atheist being difficult, those are the rules of logic.  So you have to explain how that was god and not just you having a bad trip by providing proof that can be verified and replicated by anyone.  Good luck.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Traveler on January 12, 2012, 02:51:56 AM
Quote from: normawesjean on January 11, 2012, 11:34:44 PM
...Ever since I gave my life to Lord, I don't have that void anymore, that void that I'm pretty sure everyone who is reading this probably has if they don't know the Lord. I know that feeling, it's horrible, you try to fill it with sex, drugs, drinking, smoking, being abusive, being mean, I know that feeling. I was filled with lust trying to fill that void, and I was so mean to people, so mean to people, anyone reading this I was mean to, I'm truly sorry and I deserve that Hell I experienced because I was mean to you. I have honestly felt more outgoing to be nice to people, and my sinful desires are still there, the things I struggle with are still there, but they aren't being thrown at me like they once were, so I know God intervened in things...

I read most of what you wrote, and I have one very important comment. Your experience and opinion of what it means to be an atheist is completely and totally wrong. Most atheists I know are exceedingly happy, fullfilled, productive members of society. None of the ones I know in person (at least a dozen) are into drugs, casual sex, hatred, abuse, alcohol, or cigarettes. most of us don't feel a void in our lives. We're regular people, living regular lives. I gain my happiness from creating art, from hiking in nature, from playing with my dogs, from gathering with friends, from dining with my family ... the list goes on.

Your emptiness was your situation. It is not an atheist problem. You are confusing cause and effect. In fact, I would venture to say that the vast majority of people I know who are addicted and struggling are christians. Perhaps because there's a majority of them here, and these issues are not related to a god belief. In fact, if you look at my extended family, every single teen pregnancy, every single drug addict, every single alcoholic, every single abuser, is christian. The worst of them was a minister. On the other hand, all my immediate family are non-believers. We are all happy, productive members of society. College educated, no issues, kids in college ... your assumptions completely break down in my experience.

If you're still here (and not a drive by poster) it'll be interesting to continue the discussion. I hope you'll put in a few more paragraph breaks, though ... it was very difficult to wade through.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Crow on January 12, 2012, 03:52:50 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 01:30:23 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akvu1AOnUIw (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.createblog.com%2Fforums%2Fstyle_emoticons%2Fdefault%2Fnod.gif&hash=a1cff5505588bed87b8abfb6f4b98cfdd1b8a0ab)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTw_sj7Ugxw
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on January 12, 2012, 04:04:39 AM
Cloudlight - Eskmo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IddDWBpkzYg)

8)
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 05:40:04 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6yFO3ZjgLU

We almost have enough for a HAF Stoner Compilation album  ;D
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Recusant on January 12, 2012, 10:19:17 AM
Hello and welcome to HAF, normawesjean. I read that post, and an unpleasant experience it was. I have the feeling that you aren't going to bother to come back, but even if you do, this thread won't be accessible to you until you have 10 posts. Read the section in green below:

QuoteNotes for new members from Tank:

The Rules. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=1522.0)

Users who comply with forum rules will graduate to full membership after 10 posts. Till that time your ability to post is limited to the "Getting to Know You" (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php#2) section of the forum. It is our hope that this small restriction improves the overall atmosphere of HAF.

Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=5133.0)
10 Things About Yourself  (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=4940.0)
Tell us A Bit About Where You're From (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=8215.0)
Photography (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7607.0)
Non-religious pet peeves  (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=6917.0)
Pets...what do you have? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7.0)
How to tell your family you are an atheist. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=5111.0)*

*You will need 10 posts before you can add a post to this thread, but you can read it at any time.

You already have some serious replies to that mare's nest of a post, so I'm going to add to compilation started by Asmodean. A classic from my childhood/youth.

"Eight Miles High" by The Byrds (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH6UnvSlahc)

QuoteEight miles high and when you touch down
You'll find that it's stranger than known
Signs in the street that say where you're going
Are somewhere just being their own

Nowhere is there warmth to be found
Among those afraid of losing their ground
Rain gray town known for its sound
In places small faces unbound

Round the squares huddled in storms
Some laughing some just shapeless forms
Sidewalk scenes and black limousines
Some living some standing alone



Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Velma on January 12, 2012, 10:32:25 AM
I was hoping to ask normawesjean how many forums he or she is going to post this on.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: The Magic Pudding on January 12, 2012, 10:33:27 AM
Neil Young - Last Trip to Tulsa (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC82ewG-Qu0)

QuoteWell, I used to be asleep
you know
With blankets on my bed.
I stayed there for a while
'Til they discovered I was dead.
The coroner was friendly
And I liked him quite a lot.
If I hadn't 've been a woman
I guess I'd never have been caught.
They gave me back my house and car
And nothing more was said.

Well, I was driving
down the freeway
When my car ran out of gas.
Pulled over to the station
But I was afraid to ask.
The servicemen were yellow
And the gasoline was green.
Although I knew I couldn't
I thought that I was gonna scream.
That was on my last trip to Tulsa
Just before the snow.
If you ever need a ride there,
Be sure to let me know.

I was chopping down a palm tree
When a friend dropped by to ask
If I would feel less lonely
If he helped me swing the axe.
I said: No, it's
not a case of being lonely
We have here,
I've been working on this palm tree
For eighty seven years
I said: No, it's
not a case of being lonely
We have here,
I've been working on this palm tree
For eighty seven years
He said: Go get lost!
And walked towards his Cadillac.
I chopped down the palm tree
And it landed on his back.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 10:36:20 AM
Quote from: Velma on January 12, 2012, 10:32:25 AM
I was hoping to ask normawesjean how many forums he or she is going to post this on.
You may, but remember to post a stoner song if you do  ;D
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Velma on January 12, 2012, 10:42:00 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Too Few Lions on January 12, 2012, 12:37:49 PM
one more for the compilation;

C.A. Quintet - Bury Me in a Marijuana Field (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6SD65aiA_U)

from your own testament, you sound like you were always desperate to believe in a god, and were incapable of living a happy life without that belief, so it's not much of a surprise you ended up believing in one.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Gawen on January 12, 2012, 12:43:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on January 12, 2012, 10:36:20 AM
Quote from: Velma on January 12, 2012, 10:32:25 AM
I was hoping to ask normawesjean how many forums he or she is going to post this on.
You may, but remember to post a stoner song if you do  ;D
Ah....never gave it a thought. So here's a snippet of Pass the Kutchie from the Mighty Diamonds:
"Pass the kutchie pon the left hand side
Pass the kutchie pon the left hand side
It a go bun, it a go dung, Jah know"
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: OldGit on January 12, 2012, 02:39:21 PM
I must admit I had a similar spiritual experience:  I went to a wedding last year in rural Hungary and I knocked back a big slug of Palinka.  Not the legal 40% stuff, but your bathtub brew at maybe 70 or 80%.
Suddenly I knew there was a Devil.  This was no ordinary jolt, but an intimate personal experience with Beelzebub himself, complete with the burning fire in the bowels.
Explain that, you atheists.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Firebird on January 13, 2012, 02:04:17 AM
Quote from: OldGit on January 12, 2012, 02:39:21 PM
I must admit I had a similar spiritual experience:  I went to a wedding last year in rural Hungary and I knocked back a big slug of Palinka.  Not the legal 40% stuff, but your bathtub brew at maybe 70 or 80%.
Suddenly I knew there was a Devil.  This was no ordinary jolt, but an intimate personal experience with Beelzebub himself, complete with the burning fire in the bowels.
Explain that, you atheists.

Right, but once you prayed over the porcelain gods, you felt better, right? See, religious experience!!
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Heisenberg on January 13, 2012, 06:45:31 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a3NcwfOBzQ
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Guardian85 on January 13, 2012, 09:05:36 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XHcPYorSJw  ;D


1. You are probably clinically depressed even if you won't admit it.

2. Your description of your "atheism" is the worst case of theist strawman definition. Almost like it was something you got of a theist website, just so you could present this story to us. But I digress...

3. You were tripping. Seriously tripping. I've seen people who had that kind of reaction in my line of work. Your blunt was probably laced with LSD. You found god in a bad acid trip.


Applying Occhams razor to this story. Which is more likely? That the allmighty creator of the universe took time out of his day to go down and perform the divine equivalent of a drug intervention in your life, or that you were halucinating?
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Tank on January 13, 2012, 09:42:13 PM
One visit, one post, fucks off  ::)
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Ali on January 13, 2012, 10:19:10 PM
Quote from: Tank on January 13, 2012, 09:42:13 PM
One visit, one post, fucks off  ::)

What do you think the point of that is?  Like, does he really think that he's going to post one tl;dr about meeting god during a bad trip and we're all going to go "Proof!  We are converted!"
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Tank on January 13, 2012, 10:30:18 PM
Quote from: Ali on January 13, 2012, 10:19:10 PM
Quote from: Tank on January 13, 2012, 09:42:13 PM
One visit, one post, fucks off  ::)

What do you think the point of that is?  Like, does he really think that he's going to post one tl;dr about meeting god during a bad trip and we're all going to go "Proof!  We are converted!"
I have given up trying to fathom the extreme theist mind. It's a very weird place indeed.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Velma on January 13, 2012, 11:25:57 PM
Quote from: Ali on January 13, 2012, 10:19:10 PM
Quote from: Tank on January 13, 2012, 09:42:13 PM
One visit, one post, fucks off  ::)

What do you think the point of that is?  Like, does he really think that he's going to post one tl;dr about meeting god during a bad trip and we're all going to go "Proof!  We are converted!"
My thought is that he's posted this in so many places that he couldn't keep track - and that he considered his little tale so convincing that there was no need to discuss it.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Guardian85 on January 13, 2012, 11:29:17 PM
I have seen weird things while wasted, but I don't believe they were real!
If thngs you experienced while wasted are real, someone needs to call Emma Watson and tell her she's my girlfriend!
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Sweetdeath on January 21, 2012, 01:09:45 AM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on January 12, 2012, 12:36:42 AM
Holy tl;dr, Batman!

O_o no kidding!!

And I saw constant mentioning of weed, weed, weed. Someone also could be manic depressive.
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asherah on March 16, 2012, 02:31:28 AM
This post is just silly. Let us know if you have an encounter with god while NOT on drugs....LOL. Actually, people do have those kind of encounters while not on drugs.....and, that won't convince us. It's more reasonable to conclude that your mind was playing tricks on you than to assume that god revealed himself to you. Especially to a select few, as you mentioned in your post. That is a red flag. I was raised in a cult and one of the things that we marveled at was how we were the select few who got to know the truth. Bullshit. If there was a god, he wouldn't choose a select few.

Many people groups have used drugs to access god(s). And, amazingly, they weren't Jesus! I guess God reveals himself differently to different people....yea, that makes sense.  :P
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Recusant on March 16, 2012, 11:50:17 PM
"Was YHVH a Drug Induced Vision?" (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=4113.0)

Now to make another contribution to the compilation which is the real substance and purpose of this thread:


QuoteDark Star (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAAlpIB6ico&feature=related)

Dark star crashes, pouring its light into ashes
Reason tatters; the forces tear loose from the axis
Searchlight casting for faults in the clouds of delusion

Shall we go, you and I while we can
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?

Mirror shatters in formless reflections of matter
Glass hand dissolving to ice petal flowers revolving
Lady in velvet recedes in the nights of goodbye

Shall we go, you and I while we can
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?

-- Words, Robert Hunter | Music, Jerry Garcia
Title: Re: Can anyone explain how this wasn't God in my experience I had?
Post by: Asmodean on March 17, 2012, 07:05:30 AM
Ooh! Nice! 14 minutes long too.  :D