Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Dave]

They were doing a sexual behaviour survey in Gloucedter, in private booths inside the Guildhall. Seems there were some interesting answers.

One oldish chap, on admitting that he was still active, was asked if he practiced safe-sex.

"Of course!" he replied.

"What precautions do you take?"

"Got padded guard rails all round the bed."


Another was a woman, looked like a farmer's wife, big lady, sensible tweed clothes, scarf, wellie boots etc. She was asked if they used contraception.

"Yes," was the reply.

"What method do you use?"

"Biscuit tin."

"Er, biscuit tin?"

"Yes, my hubby be six inches shorter than I and we always makes love standing up, so he stands on a biscuit tin. When I sees his face go red I kicks the tin away."

[No one]

Why do Canadians do it doggie style?




So they both can both watch the hockey game.

[xSilverPhinx]

[Biggus Dickus]

[Davin]

^

[Tank]

An original joke made up by me this morning.

A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar.

The atheist barman says.

"Hey guys. If you can give me any evidence that your god exists the drinks are on me!"

The Christian, the Muslim and the Jew look at each other and sigh

The Jew asks "Who's getting the first round in?"

[Guardian85]

An original joke made up by me this morning.

A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar.

The atheist barman says.

"Hey guys. If you can give me any evidence that your god exists the drinks are on me!"

The Christian, the Muslim and the Jew look at each other and sigh

The Jew asks "Who's getting the first round in?"

[Dave]

An original joke made up by me this morning.

A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar.

The atheist barman says.

"Hey guys. If you can give me any evidence that your god exists the drinks are on me!"

The Christian, the Muslim and the Jew look at each other and sigh

The Jew asks "Who's getting the first round in?"

Like it! Stolen.

[Bad Penny II]

An original joke made up by me this morning.

A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar.

The atheist barman says.

"Hey guys. If you can give me any evidence that your god exists the drinks are on me!"

The Christian, the Muslim and the Jew look at each other and sigh

The Jew asks "Who's getting the first round in?"

Like it! Stolen.

So are the believers conceding they've got nothing and buying?
That's a bit self serving isn't it?
They don't concede that easy usually.
I must be missing something very obvious.

[Biggus Dickus]

How many men's rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None,... they still use gaslighting!

[xSilverPhinx]

[Dave]

 

[Icarus]

^^ 

[xSilverPhinx]

Time for a really bad joke.

[Biggus Dickus]